Let me start at the beginning... Dear old Dad-in-law aka Bubba Sr. stopped by today on his way back to parts south from his trip to 'da burgh.... another long story on how my in-laws live... perhaps I will document another day hum?
So, Bubba Sr. arrives and we head out for lunch/breakfast - take your pick combo. We have ordered are enjoying some family chit-chat and Bubba Sr. drops the bomb that gave me both joy and a cry (internally) of "oh crap". What was this joyous news that my in-laws new place would be ready in October and I already have that weekend booked, Bubba Sr. said he was looking into retiring in August of next year..... AND..... (wait for it) Bubba Mama was planning to go to Hawaii.... WITH THE ENTIRE FAMILY.
Let me repeat that - Bubba's mama wants to cart her entire family to Hawaii. The look I saw dance across my husband's face was - well that is where "joyous" came from because that was REALLY freaking funny to see that expression somewhere between a grimace and a frown and ah -- I can't show those faces to my father... then to see the wheels start to turn on how he was going to get out of THIS deal.
Now for those 2 people still left on the planet earth that don't know about my in-laws let me paint you a picture - or just let me tell the tale.
Let's start with Mama and Papa Bubba. Papa Bubba works, all the time, he is very much like the man I married, open talkative, social (sarcasm here people). My mother-in-law is the original neat freak - and I do mean freak; she wouldn't use a dishwasher in a house she bought because "It wasn't my dirt, and even bleach didn't clean it right". This was stated after her son pointed out that the water inside a dishwasher was boiling or better...
My in-laws won't come up for their own son's birthday dinner because my folks dropped in one year. Seriously. I can't make this stuff up people.
Next we have Bubba Sister - a person I can take in SMALL doses like once a year for an hour. That pretty much tops the tolerance scale with me. Bubba and his sister are oil and water - with lit matches tossed in for fun. To say they are anything alike is like calling a string thong bikini "modest swimwear"... It still floors me the man she married hasn't tried to smother her in her sleep. HE is a nice guy, hard worker - 20 year later I still don't get it. Also I've never seen the man out of a pair of blue jeans and a ball cap. Its the ocean son - bathing suit... and how blinding white are THOSE legs going to be? Bubba Sr did take pains to tell us that they had the nicest weekend with her - "she must be back on the meds or something - it was a nice change of pace."
The result of this union is the niece with her head screwed on straight - with any luck she will be going away to school next year - even if I have to pack for her. (another story for a later time)
Next we have the niece who doesn't have her head screwed on straight, has two children, divorced and living with Baby Daddy #2, no job and frankly (in my judgmental opinion) not a very bright future. (yeah yeah saucer of milk table 1). Who is going to pay for her and her brood to go along? Grandma and Grandpa?? Of course and when Bubba Sister gets wind of that she will demand that they pay for her too... she just will...
Bubba and I will end up paying for half the meals so his father doesn't have to!
We will need a vacation from this vacation.
And for those of you who have enjoyed various in-law stories across the years I don't think bringing the laptop along would be a good idea. It might save my sanity - but it also might look a bit hinky. Ok I will probably figure out a way to do it - indeed just to save my sanity - or I'll bring note books and pens - again as a sanity saving device.
But as I sit and think about all the "joys" this trip could bring I also know planning ahead for this crowd outside of Bubba and Bubba Sr. is so not a thing they do. So I figure talk is cheap until about May next year, I am crossing my fingers that I don't get to see Hawaii for the first time with my husband's family. Otherwise it will be seen through a haze of tropical drinks - starting with mimosas and ending up with me face down on the pillow at night.
I will update as warranted with this impending disaster....
And in a final note for this holiday Monday... my friend Cindy lost her Mom today. My heart aches for her loss as they were close. Travel safe Cindy gain support from those family and friends that will surround you as hold close those memories of your Mom. Charlotte, one great and classy lady. God speed.
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