Don't mix and generally can be blamed for all sorts of fun-loving episodes of COPS - however in this family... its called Bubba and his magically mysterious ability to ask for stupid stuff... let me 'splain.
Wednesday Aunt Ing is making her way home through the nation's #1 traffic mess and planning her evening which included a massage appointment - yes the pampered princess was again spending Bubba's money. But today this tale has no mention of money just general stupidity... Aunt Ing gets home, pulls chicken from the freezer sets it in microwave to defrost, lets the dogs outside to be free and to pee and general other doggie stuff... she changed her clothes and then heads to the kitchen to cook said chicken, make a big salad and get things ready. She does this, she sits down for 10 minutes, feeds the dogs and then heads out for her ME time. On her way she calls Bubba informs him of where things are including dog fed status and he replies (at 7:00 PM EST) that he has another 30-45 minutes worth of work to finish then he should be home. Based upon this Aunt Ing believes that he will be home the same time she returns...
Fast forward 1 hour and 15 minutes post massage all is mellow, zen and happy in our world. We come home, no Bubba - but as this is SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) in Bubba-land we do not fret. We let the dogs out, we get to finishing dinner and we begin to eat our dinner... time now 8:30 PM EST. At 8:45 PM EST our hero calls home and asks.... (wait for it)... "to pull up the TV guide on the screen and LIST TO HIM WHAT IS ON TV HE MIGHT WANT TO DVR". Yes boys and girls, he called home to ask his wife to read him the TV guide to tape what he might want to watch. After a brief moment of stunned disbelief and a "are you serious?" Aunt Ing stops the show she recorded and was watching, brings up the guide, rattles off what she thought he wanted only to discover - again- Bubba's use of words is lacking and they go through the dance again... only this time with monthly hormones on the loose, we are short tempered and snap, "what? Its starts at 10 PM what is the big farting deal??" Then of course Mr. Crankypants comes out to play and doesn't the name calling start... and I tell him if I had done this to him he'd been ticked to all get out - he said no he wouldn't... yeah right ---
Now I ask you - who else on the planet Earth would do such a thing? And then get grumpy at the person for whom you are asking the favor - strange as it may be! I mean seriously... oh sure next week this probably wouldn't have bothered me as much - but still this is such a level of annoyance on the nit-pick pampered prince scale I can't even begin to imagine it!!! And y'all are reading this thinking... if this is all I have to grump about life ain't bad... and you're right - but it's the little things that will someday get him killed. And frankly if I get a jury of working wives and working mothers I'll not spend a night in jail.
ANY way....
So we hang up - home comes Crankypants, I sort of help him get his dinner together and move on with my night which then includes his control of the remote - and I'll watch my shows later... I bury my nose in a book, he actually turns on something I want to watch, I watch, I watch the second show and promptly fall asleep toward the end of the show only to wake up when he starts laughing at another show. He looks at me stupidly when I asked for a recap of the second show we watched, he didn't realize that I had indeed fell into a dead sleep on the couch and missed the end of the show... all the muscles were unclenched to a point and I'm still catching up between last week and the weekend.
On a happy dodged an in-law visit this week - postponed to next week, so bonus I have the weekend and a cleaning lady visit before they arrive.. another bit of proof there is a God and he likes me on occasion.. or he was busy with other things and didn't find time to mess with me for fun... ;-) (insert fist bump here to the big guy --- lightening strike... so not in my plans)
Work is quiet, testers are busy so the managing there of not so much... now I get to work on my review which is due Tuesday.... I will need caffeine and something else because that much creative writing takes time and some kind of enhancement... cheesecake or cookies hummmm ....
It's almost Friday... hang on boys and girls I certainly am.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Any know where my water wings are?
I am seriously considering trying to google if there is a kit that can turn my car into a boat and back again... this morning it was raining - again - we had thunder tossed in for a bit of fun with that hurry up shower.. by the time I crawled into work - and I say crawled because apparently when liquid falls from the sky in the greater Washington DC metro area - it makes people stupid. So stupid in fact that one must hit another car, block a lane or 3 of traffic behind them just to shake out of said stupid liquid based funk. I don't try to explain it- I just report what I see? What other possible explanation could there be for 3 accidents on the same bleeping stretch of road with the only "new" issue is liquid from the sky. and it's not like this substance is slippery on it's own... it's still is full liquid form well above the temperature when, yes, it has the potential to be slippery.... I digress.
Whining about traffic in DC (NOW Number 1 in the country BTW) is like complaining because the weather man got things wrong - you know its going to happen, you know you can't/can count on it and you just have to adjust your life accordingly. Oh sure there are days you long for a baseball bat and the mythical get out of jail free card when you see the dork next to you reading the paper, texting and checking the radio while it's pouring down rain and he's pushing 40 and the traffic is doing 30... but hey. This is why blogs were invented; to blather on about this kind of mindless drivel... and make the 'writer' feel better - sort of.
Today is Wednesday and it's been one heck of a hump to climb this week... I'm still behind on sleep or I feel that way... Shelby for some reason has gotten into the habit of not going to the potty regularly outside and last night decided she needed out at 3:45 in the blessed AM.... of course that is after I tossed and turned and went into the other room to read until almost 1:00 AM... thanks puppy. But having learned the lesson of the 'go lay down' and pay the price later I got up and let her out - a minute later she was done and we all went back to bed only to be shocked when the darn alarm went off... 45 minutes later we rolled out of bed. That interrupted sleep pattern thing really screws with ones ability and willingness to get up...
Bubba did his usual and up and out I of course tended to everything else.. which was mostly me and the pups.. again with the push to go outside... then or course I see that the road is slow and poky so I get a few things done, fill the tank, drop off some mail, make a ladies' group deposit - debate the doughnut shop - kept driving-- slowly made my way into the office fighting off the monthly major blas....
I know what this is but it comes and occasionally just kicks my booty... today was that day - or at least this morning.. I think it's because I'm tired and still feeling like a serious dork from yesterday... shall I document my brain to mouth filter failure? I think I shall...
Large Nameless Corporation had a Operations (sub group) all hands (please come listen to speeches) yesterday and since I didn't know to what upper management branch I belonged to (been here since April a name on a web site doesn't help much) I RSVP'd and figured I go... so yesterday I did... bonus got a diet coke and a room temperature pretzel (that should be hot generally) and of course the necessary speech making. I spoke to a woman I knew I made the comment it was nice to see for whom I worked; for she then said she would take me to meet her personally. Ok fine mentor and all that -- we introduce all is going well, mentioned the mentor program and she asked me if I was a mentor nor a mentoree and I hesitated because 1) the mentoree is not a word and two it struck me odd that she (my division manager) used it so I blurted Protege and made a crack about the word mentoree and my images of a large sea creature and so I kept talking like a bigger dork while my brain was screaming SHUT UP YOU IDIOT... and after that it was a nice to meet and away I went desperately looking for a hole big enough to swallow me whole....
Gee I guess that personality test thing-y was right - I have no diplomatic skills... or as I call it - the brain to mouth filter works like its owner -- when it feels like it... ah well. So my mentor has something to work on... won't that be fun???
On a final note - talked to the parental units all the internal freak out over leaving something wrong, open or unlocked for the better part of a week was all for not... on one hand oh-so very glad on the other... yeesh and enough already...
That's enough for today - I do have something to look forward too - a massage tonight and the fight over it's costs when I get home... fun huh? ;-) Later!
Whining about traffic in DC (NOW Number 1 in the country BTW) is like complaining because the weather man got things wrong - you know its going to happen, you know you can't/can count on it and you just have to adjust your life accordingly. Oh sure there are days you long for a baseball bat and the mythical get out of jail free card when you see the dork next to you reading the paper, texting and checking the radio while it's pouring down rain and he's pushing 40 and the traffic is doing 30... but hey. This is why blogs were invented; to blather on about this kind of mindless drivel... and make the 'writer' feel better - sort of.
Today is Wednesday and it's been one heck of a hump to climb this week... I'm still behind on sleep or I feel that way... Shelby for some reason has gotten into the habit of not going to the potty regularly outside and last night decided she needed out at 3:45 in the blessed AM.... of course that is after I tossed and turned and went into the other room to read until almost 1:00 AM... thanks puppy. But having learned the lesson of the 'go lay down' and pay the price later I got up and let her out - a minute later she was done and we all went back to bed only to be shocked when the darn alarm went off... 45 minutes later we rolled out of bed. That interrupted sleep pattern thing really screws with ones ability and willingness to get up...
Bubba did his usual and up and out I of course tended to everything else.. which was mostly me and the pups.. again with the push to go outside... then or course I see that the road is slow and poky so I get a few things done, fill the tank, drop off some mail, make a ladies' group deposit - debate the doughnut shop - kept driving-- slowly made my way into the office fighting off the monthly major blas....
I know what this is but it comes and occasionally just kicks my booty... today was that day - or at least this morning.. I think it's because I'm tired and still feeling like a serious dork from yesterday... shall I document my brain to mouth filter failure? I think I shall...
Large Nameless Corporation had a Operations (sub group) all hands (please come listen to speeches) yesterday and since I didn't know to what upper management branch I belonged to (been here since April a name on a web site doesn't help much) I RSVP'd and figured I go... so yesterday I did... bonus got a diet coke and a room temperature pretzel (that should be hot generally) and of course the necessary speech making. I spoke to a woman I knew I made the comment it was nice to see for whom I worked; for she then said she would take me to meet her personally. Ok fine mentor and all that -- we introduce all is going well, mentioned the mentor program and she asked me if I was a mentor nor a mentoree and I hesitated because 1) the mentoree is not a word and two it struck me odd that she (my division manager) used it so I blurted Protege and made a crack about the word mentoree and my images of a large sea creature and so I kept talking like a bigger dork while my brain was screaming SHUT UP YOU IDIOT... and after that it was a nice to meet and away I went desperately looking for a hole big enough to swallow me whole....
Gee I guess that personality test thing-y was right - I have no diplomatic skills... or as I call it - the brain to mouth filter works like its owner -- when it feels like it... ah well. So my mentor has something to work on... won't that be fun???
On a final note - talked to the parental units all the internal freak out over leaving something wrong, open or unlocked for the better part of a week was all for not... on one hand oh-so very glad on the other... yeesh and enough already...
That's enough for today - I do have something to look forward too - a massage tonight and the fight over it's costs when I get home... fun huh? ;-) Later!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
The Weekend... and I need a rest!
This weekend was great - and exhausting! I am a government contractor and Saturday I got to take Bubba, my sister and her daughter to visit HQ - not a lot of people get to see that... well actually based upon the number of bodies in that place Saturday sure looked like a lot to me!!!
ANYway - according to my office mate my best bet was to get there early have breakfast and see certain things first, that plan went reasonable well until Miss M decided she didn't want to do this and was shy for that... and of course she was up at 6 AM of her own idea and apparently started to crash at 10 AM...
But we muddled through and everyone got to see something cool, we did a bit of shopping, and finally piled into the car home, pooped and tired even...
Stopped off on the way home, picked up our ceramics from girls beach weekend interrupted - yes I know it's been a while but I forgot all about them and idiot Bubba never bother to tell me they called! We stopped by the doughnut shop call the Fractured Prune and had doughnuts... mmmm then we walked around a bit niece M discovered the area with rocks, and dirt and wood chips and kids running and jumping and playing on rocks, so we ran and jumped, then finally we had to get home to let out the pups. So home, played with pups Sis took a nap, we kept the kiddo entertained for a bit - then made dinner decisions.
Ironically we ended up back at the same shopping center we were previously for - get this - Lebanese food! Sis described a salad she had in Erie, Pa and Bubba - the boy genius found a place, we did some one line research and wha-la we had swarma, hummus, salads and bread and it was all very very good!! Bubba had a lamb shank with rice and that too looked very good, we all tasted. Enjoyed. Miss M had chicken fingers and ate and ate - then of course we had to run around the rocks more, then darkness was falling upon us and we headed --- to the ice cream shop!! Personally I think Uncle Bubba uses that as an excuse - but of course we all enjoyed, and indulged even... then it was home, bath and bed for baby and mama and not soon after for Uncle and Aunt.
Of course Sunday pups up early as they spent most of the day cooped up - and for some strange reason Miss M was up early too - much to the unhappiness of Mom and Uncle Bubba. We enjoyed bagels, and someone had eggs, and they managed to find all their bits and pieces pack it all up. But in a fit of let's tire out the little person we took the pups for a walk which resulted in a game-time injury of Miss Shelby, she started gimping on her bum leg and didn't my sister pick that dog up and carry her home!!! Now 1) I was surprised she let Sis do that - Shelby does not like to be carried and she's not a small dog (55 plus pound y'all) and 2) when Sis stopped and repositioned I walked behind them laughing like a loon, as Shelby had this look on her face like, "hey - this is a whole new level - and check this out --- but again I was worried how hurt she was because she didn't dance about to be put down.
So major Kudos to my Sis for the Sunday she-man carry award for my wounded pup... oh she's better now she got a full pill Sunday night instead of her usual half. And alas - in spite of protests by niece M and Aunt Ing they packed up and headed back to PA.... I did get a text message about a certain small person needing a #2 potty break and her Aunt's choice of giving her Fiber one yogurt before they left... what can I say? It's what I had and she liked it! Later we got a text with a masterpiece completed as someone got a nap on the trip home.. and was up and moving when released from the car harness!!! (giggle) My "kids" were sound asleep before they hit the major highway home! (they're old)
Monday - ah Monday another day at work, Ladies group meeting a long one where I did the whole walking around the room thing we did all right... went home last night and DIED....
This morning up and moving and moving the new family truckster got it's first oil change and now it's happily resting in the parking lot- and probably wishing desperately wishing for an all over bath - inside especially. Maybe this weekend when it might stop raining... *sigh*
Its so soggy here our crackers now come with a warning labels... "crisp-ness is a state of mind, and not a possibility in 100% humidity 100% of the time... live with it".
ANYway - according to my office mate my best bet was to get there early have breakfast and see certain things first, that plan went reasonable well until Miss M decided she didn't want to do this and was shy for that... and of course she was up at 6 AM of her own idea and apparently started to crash at 10 AM...
But we muddled through and everyone got to see something cool, we did a bit of shopping, and finally piled into the car home, pooped and tired even...
Stopped off on the way home, picked up our ceramics from girls beach weekend interrupted - yes I know it's been a while but I forgot all about them and idiot Bubba never bother to tell me they called! We stopped by the doughnut shop call the Fractured Prune and had doughnuts... mmmm then we walked around a bit niece M discovered the area with rocks, and dirt and wood chips and kids running and jumping and playing on rocks, so we ran and jumped, then finally we had to get home to let out the pups. So home, played with pups Sis took a nap, we kept the kiddo entertained for a bit - then made dinner decisions.
Ironically we ended up back at the same shopping center we were previously for - get this - Lebanese food! Sis described a salad she had in Erie, Pa and Bubba - the boy genius found a place, we did some one line research and wha-la we had swarma, hummus, salads and bread and it was all very very good!! Bubba had a lamb shank with rice and that too looked very good, we all tasted. Enjoyed. Miss M had chicken fingers and ate and ate - then of course we had to run around the rocks more, then darkness was falling upon us and we headed --- to the ice cream shop!! Personally I think Uncle Bubba uses that as an excuse - but of course we all enjoyed, and indulged even... then it was home, bath and bed for baby and mama and not soon after for Uncle and Aunt.
Of course Sunday pups up early as they spent most of the day cooped up - and for some strange reason Miss M was up early too - much to the unhappiness of Mom and Uncle Bubba. We enjoyed bagels, and someone had eggs, and they managed to find all their bits and pieces pack it all up. But in a fit of let's tire out the little person we took the pups for a walk which resulted in a game-time injury of Miss Shelby, she started gimping on her bum leg and didn't my sister pick that dog up and carry her home!!! Now 1) I was surprised she let Sis do that - Shelby does not like to be carried and she's not a small dog (55 plus pound y'all) and 2) when Sis stopped and repositioned I walked behind them laughing like a loon, as Shelby had this look on her face like, "hey - this is a whole new level - and check this out --- but again I was worried how hurt she was because she didn't dance about to be put down.
So major Kudos to my Sis for the Sunday she-man carry award for my wounded pup... oh she's better now she got a full pill Sunday night instead of her usual half. And alas - in spite of protests by niece M and Aunt Ing they packed up and headed back to PA.... I did get a text message about a certain small person needing a #2 potty break and her Aunt's choice of giving her Fiber one yogurt before they left... what can I say? It's what I had and she liked it! Later we got a text with a masterpiece completed as someone got a nap on the trip home.. and was up and moving when released from the car harness!!! (giggle) My "kids" were sound asleep before they hit the major highway home! (they're old)
Monday - ah Monday another day at work, Ladies group meeting a long one where I did the whole walking around the room thing we did all right... went home last night and DIED....
This morning up and moving and moving the new family truckster got it's first oil change and now it's happily resting in the parking lot- and probably wishing desperately wishing for an all over bath - inside especially. Maybe this weekend when it might stop raining... *sigh*
Its so soggy here our crackers now come with a warning labels... "crisp-ness is a state of mind, and not a possibility in 100% humidity 100% of the time... live with it".
Friday, September 23, 2011
Big let down...
After all the high drama of last weekend the rest of this week has been - well dull. Oh sure I've told stories of the wedding and enjoyed the retelling. Bubba managed to get home in one piece, still cranky due to no sleep and a red eye flight home, then me gone for two nights at work, and here we are at Friday. I'm tired.
The weekend promises a bit of interesting as it's family day at Headquarters where I work, so Sis and M are coming down for a visit. I invited the brother and family - but apparently his wife didn't approve or her family has something more pressing like more idiotic coordinated posed and all in one color family pictures. What ever.
So she's down and home and around again, her husband has a 1 October deadline to get their rental property ready so the poor boy has to stay home... I feel bad for him. Next year pumpkin.
Nana and Pap will be home this weekend and hopefully will tell me all is well a their home - as I have been fretting for a week that I forgot to do something and they are coming home to something - I've had some really weird dreams the last couple of nights (into days) so again still hoping for good news... tune in Sunday or Monday for that update.
I'm still working on my mentor stuff; I've got until Tuesday to get things done - frankly I'm starting to freak out - with any luck it will be raining on Sunday when Sis head north and I can get something else done besides the darn bushes with Bubba. But on the other hand... its raining AGAIN - it's grey and dreary and generally depressing - but hey... its raining... again - floods and mold and frizzy hair abound.
I've got the munchies for something but considering how much I've enjoyed over the last two days I need to think clearly on the 'craving' side of anything. I think Bubba is getting freezer surprise tonight for dinner... as in - here is what is in the freezer and SURPRISE - that is what is for dinner.
It's fun living with me isn't it? Hey - he can clean clothes before I left - can't remember if I ran the dishwasher or not - probably not - so he can figure out the magic mysteries of moving dirty dishes from sink to dishwasher - we've had remedial training - several times... doesn't stick.
And lastly in a completely random thought - what idiot came up with the "colon health" commercial where some idiot woman is at a WEDDING talking about a drug that makes you go poo? And why aren't they wrestling the microphone from drunk Aunt Betty fast enough? Oh yeah and was she wearing shoes - apparently they are going the way of the foundation garment/pantyhose... just something to get you through those last few Friday hours.
The weekend promises a bit of interesting as it's family day at Headquarters where I work, so Sis and M are coming down for a visit. I invited the brother and family - but apparently his wife didn't approve or her family has something more pressing like more idiotic coordinated posed and all in one color family pictures. What ever.
So she's down and home and around again, her husband has a 1 October deadline to get their rental property ready so the poor boy has to stay home... I feel bad for him. Next year pumpkin.
Nana and Pap will be home this weekend and hopefully will tell me all is well a their home - as I have been fretting for a week that I forgot to do something and they are coming home to something - I've had some really weird dreams the last couple of nights (into days) so again still hoping for good news... tune in Sunday or Monday for that update.
I'm still working on my mentor stuff; I've got until Tuesday to get things done - frankly I'm starting to freak out - with any luck it will be raining on Sunday when Sis head north and I can get something else done besides the darn bushes with Bubba. But on the other hand... its raining AGAIN - it's grey and dreary and generally depressing - but hey... its raining... again - floods and mold and frizzy hair abound.
I've got the munchies for something but considering how much I've enjoyed over the last two days I need to think clearly on the 'craving' side of anything. I think Bubba is getting freezer surprise tonight for dinner... as in - here is what is in the freezer and SURPRISE - that is what is for dinner.
It's fun living with me isn't it? Hey - he can clean clothes before I left - can't remember if I ran the dishwasher or not - probably not - so he can figure out the magic mysteries of moving dirty dishes from sink to dishwasher - we've had remedial training - several times... doesn't stick.
And lastly in a completely random thought - what idiot came up with the "colon health" commercial where some idiot woman is at a WEDDING talking about a drug that makes you go poo? And why aren't they wrestling the microphone from drunk Aunt Betty fast enough? Oh yeah and was she wearing shoes - apparently they are going the way of the foundation garment/pantyhose... just something to get you through those last few Friday hours.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Get comfy - screw that - get popcorn...
Oh where do I begin with the extravaganza that was my day?? Well let's start at the beginning I have previously posted on how early the beginning was... but things mellowed out for a bit, I walked the girls around the local high school football field only to discover tonight is battle of the high school marching bands... oh goodie no place to park in front of Mom's right now my beloved family truckster is parked behind their garage
I am patiently waiting for someone to leave so I can pull the truck out front. Things are a little tight back there and I don't trust people... (it was moved later... and I started this last night) ANY way...
Girls, walked, empty and mellow, Aunt Ing, showered dressed primped and suddenly feeling a bit guilty over the primp then decided screw it... I wanted to look nice. Plus I knew deep in the deep part of my brain I would be one of the better dressed folks there... (meow)
OK so dressed, ready, dogs out for last pee, kept in the bedroom, probably asleep before I hit the end of the road out of town... and I felt Ok for now.
Mum-in-law called 15 minutes before I was due to get to her house-- oh goodie we're starting early figuring things were jumping I hit the gas and called my sister for an ETA. We chatted I gave her directions to the casa-de-in-laws... and made my way north... arrived to find.... A mess? bridal stuff everywhere?? Nope.
I found Granny still in her bathrobe, mum-in law in a dress just a bit too tight and no one else around. OK fine, so we hang out I discover that dad-in-law is off helping decorate the fire hall... (Now before you sneer that is a Western PA staple so can't say much there) My mum-in-law tells me they need to be at the church by 1:30 - father-in-law arrived at the house not dressed yet at 1:25... and he's Bubba Sr. so you can imagine how quick that went! We arrive at the church at 12 minutes until 2 PM - aka Zero hour. So we sit, me and sister in the back rows - the rest of the family up front. Even if I had wanted to be up front with the "family" there was no space for us... go figure.
Frankly it was a nice service, the pastor was well spoken gave a nice quick sermon and in 15 minutes - MARRIED! Wham-bam and I Do. The colors were black and white. The bride wore white, with a black feather thing in her hair, and a black slash around her waist and trailing behind her. Honestly it was nicer than the first dress she wore - and there wasn't nearly as much muffin top hanging over the back of this dress. But now this is when things get fun - first because sis and I were able to sit in the car for a few minutes and see Redneck fashion in full bloom before the service... shall I demonstrate? (we'll dish bride a bit more in a bit)
First well there was my mum-in-law - she's 60 plus years old... and she didn't wear any panty hose... and she wore sandals with the thing between her toes - yes boys and girls my mum-in-law wore dressy with a small heel flip flops to her daughter/grand daughter's wedding - oh sure granted it was her second but still... her mother won't buy new shoes so after the service - they had to take her home to get another pair of shoes due to a blowout -- sorry I missed it. Sources tell me her foot was flopping out the front... *snort* giggle - I'm going straight to hell for that one-- Granny arrived at the reception later - also sans hose and in a pair of grey sandals... seriously? You're too old and too pasty to go without the right foundation garments... sorry!
Next the guests - let's start with the first thing we saw in the parking lot... short skirt, chubby legs, boots with fur sticking out the top up to our chubby knees -- oh yeah babe. Next was super skinny girl in red dress with big black necklace... and you guessed it knee high boots again with the fur all laced up and ready for her nightly stroll... (saucer of milk - table 1). Perhaps because the temperatures got a little cool today they broke out the boots... or it could just be redneck fashion - I'll have to call Jeff Foxworthy for a ruling on that one.
Next - oh next what a show Aunt Ing got in The House of the Lord -(be prepared and have your reference copy of Steel Magnolias handy you will need it). Again remember Aunt Ing is certainly no member of the skinny-minny club but I try to keep things contained when out in public... not everyone has this philosophy. The second lady in red is a prime example, again another member of the no pantyhose club (apparently I am the last member) but when you turn in your chair - dear chubby woman to take pictures - one should think and turn with both legs- keeping ones chubby thighs together - one should not turn with leg one, and leave things open to air out and flash half of the church thank you very much - maybe it was just the piano but I swore I heard someone yell "Help me". Anyway after that flash and shock the ladies in black came down.
Ok not bad dresses - the maid of honor wore a short dress while everyone else wore a long black dress. Why? Because the bride wanted the maid of honor to be different... so her dress was short. I don't get that one... but hey there was a great deal today I didn't get. It also appears to me the only people who got their hair done for this mess was the bride and her sister... everyone else it appears went back to 1988 and broke out their crimping irons... (remember those boys and girls?) I never did get that fashion mistake, iron your hair to appear as if you put it in a small waffle iron... toss in a pony tail to the side and - boy howdy you got hair.
Now the dress we had the most fun with (we being sis and me) was the dress worn by Bubba's sister - aka the Mother of the Bride. She was in black, ok sure it goes with the wedding, and that is pretty much the nicest thing I can say about this... and it really wasn't the dress - it was the body in was draped over and in a recurring theme... no foundation garments. To begin quoting my favorite movie -- "It's like two pig wrestling under a blanket" Yes boys and girls when one has the shape of a barrel with layers (rolls) stacked upon one another a short, tight, black dress with ruffles on the short sleeves without some kind of Lycra under neath -- oh so not a good look.
As Sis and I quoted, she was wearing her Spanx and I my control top hose... "I haven't left the house without Lycra on these thighs since I was 14" - to which I replied, "that is because you were raised right." And you don't end up looking like a black lumpy pillow case that lost the battle with the dog. I did think the reception shoes of black and white slippers were a nice touch. Apparently shoes were just too much for this crowd - heck Bubba's sister had hers off right after the wedding - standing outside the church! In her bare feet! Classy!
The remainder of the wedding party -- dumped their shoes for flip flops or bare feet at the hall. Yeah... well when you don't wear them much I guess they are hard to grow used to... (meowww)
They didn't take many pictures in the church all I heard was the lovely Bride with her nose out of joint wanted to "get the F out of this church as soon as possible" Nice huh? But they did go back in for a few pictures.
Now to stay this wedding was organized was like saying a stampede of feral cats is a well thought out, organized event. You guessed it--- it was a big old mess - and frankly it would have been a bit of fun to see Bubba sitting through all the stops and starts of this mess... instead I had Sis and got to laugh and enjoy it! LOL
Since Granny had to head home after the service and we were done with the standing around for 30 minutes portion of our day (part 1 of X) Sis and I followed the boyfriend of the maid of honor to the fire hall... we arrived and found a spot in the corner and prepared to have a good time. Unfortunately we ended up sitting with the in-laws and had to watch our tongues...its all right - we still enjoyed the show...
First up, beverages were in coolers - pick your own, and they were out of diet very early into the evening. You know the wine was bad when even my mother-in-law wouldn't drink it... heck I smelled it... it smelled like something that would take off tar gunk off your car. Mum-in-law J was ticked because the mother of the groom apparently "agreed" to supply the liquor so she bought the beer her family likes and small quantities of crap for everyone else... include one, single, solitary, bottle of champagne. And while we're on champagne -- the toasts... the best man spoke of how long he knew the groom (kids) and doing stuff in the garden, mostly shooting the groom's late father in the backside with a bee-bee gun. Sal-Ute Then the maid of honor got up, said she had nothing prepared as she was told yesterday she didn't have to speak, then she said she didn't have any shooting garden stories and wished the bride and groom well - bravo.
Let's move on to the mother of the groom shall we? Now in the interest of balance or at least full disclosure this woman lost her husband with 6 kids to raise the eldest under 12? (not sure of that number) So her life hasn't been easy, plus, she is a farmer so again nothing soft with this woman.. that being said and our popcorn is buttered and salted - with a side of milk... whoa doggie. First she was sporting a mullet from way back - nice and short and curly in the front and all the way down to the middle of her back... yeah. She wore to her son's wedding, black pants, black vest, a colored shirt and what looked like black tennis shoes - and I'll pay someone to prove to me she smiled once that whole day. She walked down the aisle with her silk red rose and I pondered why one couldn't spend $6 for a dressy pair of shoes...after all that is what J did... (mum-in-law). But then again if you're scraping by that might be a bit too much and for something you will never need again... so I get that just giving the full picture. I also do not believe she sat down to eat at the dinner, all I saw her was running around and tending to things - which is more than either mother of the bride did, after all that is so not in their wheel house - J writes a check and T - asks her father to write a check.
My sister commented that the mom of the groom appeared to be a hard woman - that is apt - and frankly if I met her in a bar or dark alley - I'd apologize and move on with my day. Mum-in-law was all too willing to dish the dirt on her... apparently Groom Mama and the bride have already had words - color me surprised. And Groom Mama (GM for short) first said she would pay for food, and liquor, then said she'd do neither, then when forced by Bubba's sister managed to get her to buy the liquor - and I have documented how well that turned out. If I hadn't been driven I would have been drinking... because frankly it would have made this mess of a train wreck all the more fun. (the kitties are out today!)
Now in a complete bonus there is no smoking in the hall -- so 3/4's of the guests were outside most of the time! LOL... Now AFTER dinner - everyone has their jackets off, ties are gone, they decide to take pictures! Nope oh so not kidding. Should I mention when the in-laws were taking family pictures I got to stand around for 30 minutes then was nicely asked to sit next to the bride and groom on a bench outside the fire hall and snap went the picture-- alone just me with the bride and groom. And no I was not included in the group family shot... nice huh?
Oh and did I mention - again no flower? My sister said I have to get over it... and I have but just thought I'd mention I was dissed again... but considering my sister-in-law probably ordered the flowers NO big surprise there... speaking of flowers did I also mention they forgot the lapel flowers (cannot spell check that B-word!) for the men until AFTER the service? I put on three afterwards! Too freaking funny.
I will say the food was pretty good, roast pig was all right, dry as all get out - but still editable. The pasta they ordered well, let's just say it wandered through the sauce and got lost and with that getting lost turned into mush. Yum. Macaroni salad was good through - no onions bonus in my world.
Now - the reception, apparently they decided to give some 3rd cousin the gig - he was 12. Literally 12... he swallowed and subsequently SHOUTED into the microphone -(the doctor said the ringing will stop in a few days) He announced the wedding party as they walked in and again an offer of monetary compensation for anyone who understood a word this kid said. And no one applauded! They just walked in and sat down!!! When the bride and groom walked in then there was applause.
Oh and the darling precocious snot used the following classy way to get every one's attention... (HEY! YINZ! HEY - everybody!) again note the methodology of microphone use... just makes your head hurt reading about it don't it? I do believe when Floyd made reference to the "quality" DJ it was quipped by yours truly that you get what you pay for... (hey cousin Earl - bring your I-pod and the big speakers we built and that Mr. Microphone you done got for Christmas last year I need a DJ for the weddin')... I could be paraphrasing. - his name I don't think was Earl.
For the bride's dance - which he continually called the dollar dance - which in my world had a WHOLE other meaning... he play FAST songs so you had to jump around like an idiot! I took Martina - and had some fun with her; she was fascinated with all that finery... thankfully she missed the under pinning red-neckery her mama and I enjoyed that! And while I'm on the "dollar dance" isn't is odd that neither mum or father in law danced with the bride or groom - or any member of the family -- but me? Nope not kidding!
They did the garter and bouquet toss as Sis and I were packing up to head out we were pushing 9 hours for the pups home alone, and I think Sis had had enough. That and the mum-in-law had discovered Jello shooters and was winding up for a good time... she said she was going to call me Sunday... nope haven't heard from her but post football I will call home and let them know I'm home. Maybe.
As we were heading out to go back to my car, sis mentioned that the word she would use for the bride is "fake"... thank you! I'm so glad it wasn't just me...I'd gotten the two faced vibe from both her and Bubba's sister... glad to know that radar isn't jammed... Bubba has no clue - mainly because when it comes to his family his radar is completely jammed! LOL
So I made it back to Nana's without muss or fuss - until I was at the bottom of the hill where I could have WALKED to Nana's house but.. as previously noted - Battle of the high school bands -- they had the roads blocked! It took another 10 minutes to get around and about and to the house... where I did park in the back until I saw an opening up front. I texted the sister arrived safe - she did same, and then pulled apart the dogs, Violet not eating but guarding her food, Shelby wanting to help her didn't make for puppy happiness...
I have a bruised thumb to show for that bit of fun - started to blog all this wedding wonderfulness but all day sans attention and the pups were demanding. So we mellowed out - watched Diners, Drive ins and Dives went to bed early - was up early and headed home about 9AM.
Stopped in halfway ish (Breezewood to those in the know) to allow pups to go and avoid any nearly home accidents - although for this trip home I dumped them both in the back and left them there... Yes Shelby barked but I think she was tired enough not to make me crazy for very long. Bubba called from Vegas when I was about 30 minutes from home-home we chatted quickly as his mind was on breakfast with his buddy and Vegas and he could give a fat rats' be-hind about any of this nonsense.
I got home in time for kickoff... enjoyed a large lunch and am now contemplating going to bed at 8 PM with the hope of a good night's sleep.
Now if I could just get rid of this nagging feeling that I forgot to do something at Nana's... both doors locked, alarm set, water off, dishes washed, bed made.... it's in my head (please Lord) oh sure ask for his help after all his catty-catty... yeah well I don't hit kids and I don't abuse animals how about a break for the deadly sin of gossipin' ... soon to be followed by sloth -- gluttony was 2 hours ago. oh screw it -- as previously mentioned ticket has already been punched -- one way straight to the tanning booth.
Enjoy y'all... is all the popcorn gone?
I am patiently waiting for someone to leave so I can pull the truck out front. Things are a little tight back there and I don't trust people... (it was moved later... and I started this last night) ANY way...
Girls, walked, empty and mellow, Aunt Ing, showered dressed primped and suddenly feeling a bit guilty over the primp then decided screw it... I wanted to look nice. Plus I knew deep in the deep part of my brain I would be one of the better dressed folks there... (meow)
OK so dressed, ready, dogs out for last pee, kept in the bedroom, probably asleep before I hit the end of the road out of town... and I felt Ok for now.
Mum-in-law called 15 minutes before I was due to get to her house-- oh goodie we're starting early figuring things were jumping I hit the gas and called my sister for an ETA. We chatted I gave her directions to the casa-de-in-laws... and made my way north... arrived to find.... A mess? bridal stuff everywhere?? Nope.
I found Granny still in her bathrobe, mum-in law in a dress just a bit too tight and no one else around. OK fine, so we hang out I discover that dad-in-law is off helping decorate the fire hall... (Now before you sneer that is a Western PA staple so can't say much there) My mum-in-law tells me they need to be at the church by 1:30 - father-in-law arrived at the house not dressed yet at 1:25... and he's Bubba Sr. so you can imagine how quick that went! We arrive at the church at 12 minutes until 2 PM - aka Zero hour. So we sit, me and sister in the back rows - the rest of the family up front. Even if I had wanted to be up front with the "family" there was no space for us... go figure.
Frankly it was a nice service, the pastor was well spoken gave a nice quick sermon and in 15 minutes - MARRIED! Wham-bam and I Do. The colors were black and white. The bride wore white, with a black feather thing in her hair, and a black slash around her waist and trailing behind her. Honestly it was nicer than the first dress she wore - and there wasn't nearly as much muffin top hanging over the back of this dress. But now this is when things get fun - first because sis and I were able to sit in the car for a few minutes and see Redneck fashion in full bloom before the service... shall I demonstrate? (we'll dish bride a bit more in a bit)
First well there was my mum-in-law - she's 60 plus years old... and she didn't wear any panty hose... and she wore sandals with the thing between her toes - yes boys and girls my mum-in-law wore dressy with a small heel flip flops to her daughter/grand daughter's wedding - oh sure granted it was her second but still... her mother won't buy new shoes so after the service - they had to take her home to get another pair of shoes due to a blowout -- sorry I missed it. Sources tell me her foot was flopping out the front... *snort* giggle - I'm going straight to hell for that one-- Granny arrived at the reception later - also sans hose and in a pair of grey sandals... seriously? You're too old and too pasty to go without the right foundation garments... sorry!
Next the guests - let's start with the first thing we saw in the parking lot... short skirt, chubby legs, boots with fur sticking out the top up to our chubby knees -- oh yeah babe. Next was super skinny girl in red dress with big black necklace... and you guessed it knee high boots again with the fur all laced up and ready for her nightly stroll... (saucer of milk - table 1). Perhaps because the temperatures got a little cool today they broke out the boots... or it could just be redneck fashion - I'll have to call Jeff Foxworthy for a ruling on that one.
Next - oh next what a show Aunt Ing got in The House of the Lord -(be prepared and have your reference copy of Steel Magnolias handy you will need it). Again remember Aunt Ing is certainly no member of the skinny-minny club but I try to keep things contained when out in public... not everyone has this philosophy. The second lady in red is a prime example, again another member of the no pantyhose club (apparently I am the last member) but when you turn in your chair - dear chubby woman to take pictures - one should think and turn with both legs- keeping ones chubby thighs together - one should not turn with leg one, and leave things open to air out and flash half of the church thank you very much - maybe it was just the piano but I swore I heard someone yell "Help me". Anyway after that flash and shock the ladies in black came down.
Ok not bad dresses - the maid of honor wore a short dress while everyone else wore a long black dress. Why? Because the bride wanted the maid of honor to be different... so her dress was short. I don't get that one... but hey there was a great deal today I didn't get. It also appears to me the only people who got their hair done for this mess was the bride and her sister... everyone else it appears went back to 1988 and broke out their crimping irons... (remember those boys and girls?) I never did get that fashion mistake, iron your hair to appear as if you put it in a small waffle iron... toss in a pony tail to the side and - boy howdy you got hair.
Now the dress we had the most fun with (we being sis and me) was the dress worn by Bubba's sister - aka the Mother of the Bride. She was in black, ok sure it goes with the wedding, and that is pretty much the nicest thing I can say about this... and it really wasn't the dress - it was the body in was draped over and in a recurring theme... no foundation garments. To begin quoting my favorite movie -- "It's like two pig wrestling under a blanket" Yes boys and girls when one has the shape of a barrel with layers (rolls) stacked upon one another a short, tight, black dress with ruffles on the short sleeves without some kind of Lycra under neath -- oh so not a good look.
As Sis and I quoted, she was wearing her Spanx and I my control top hose... "I haven't left the house without Lycra on these thighs since I was 14" - to which I replied, "that is because you were raised right." And you don't end up looking like a black lumpy pillow case that lost the battle with the dog. I did think the reception shoes of black and white slippers were a nice touch. Apparently shoes were just too much for this crowd - heck Bubba's sister had hers off right after the wedding - standing outside the church! In her bare feet! Classy!
The remainder of the wedding party -- dumped their shoes for flip flops or bare feet at the hall. Yeah... well when you don't wear them much I guess they are hard to grow used to... (meowww)
They didn't take many pictures in the church all I heard was the lovely Bride with her nose out of joint wanted to "get the F out of this church as soon as possible" Nice huh? But they did go back in for a few pictures.
Now to stay this wedding was organized was like saying a stampede of feral cats is a well thought out, organized event. You guessed it--- it was a big old mess - and frankly it would have been a bit of fun to see Bubba sitting through all the stops and starts of this mess... instead I had Sis and got to laugh and enjoy it! LOL
Since Granny had to head home after the service and we were done with the standing around for 30 minutes portion of our day (part 1 of X) Sis and I followed the boyfriend of the maid of honor to the fire hall... we arrived and found a spot in the corner and prepared to have a good time. Unfortunately we ended up sitting with the in-laws and had to watch our tongues...its all right - we still enjoyed the show...
First up, beverages were in coolers - pick your own, and they were out of diet very early into the evening. You know the wine was bad when even my mother-in-law wouldn't drink it... heck I smelled it... it smelled like something that would take off tar gunk off your car. Mum-in-law J was ticked because the mother of the groom apparently "agreed" to supply the liquor so she bought the beer her family likes and small quantities of crap for everyone else... include one, single, solitary, bottle of champagne. And while we're on champagne -- the toasts... the best man spoke of how long he knew the groom (kids) and doing stuff in the garden, mostly shooting the groom's late father in the backside with a bee-bee gun. Sal-Ute Then the maid of honor got up, said she had nothing prepared as she was told yesterday she didn't have to speak, then she said she didn't have any shooting garden stories and wished the bride and groom well - bravo.
Let's move on to the mother of the groom shall we? Now in the interest of balance or at least full disclosure this woman lost her husband with 6 kids to raise the eldest under 12? (not sure of that number) So her life hasn't been easy, plus, she is a farmer so again nothing soft with this woman.. that being said and our popcorn is buttered and salted - with a side of milk... whoa doggie. First she was sporting a mullet from way back - nice and short and curly in the front and all the way down to the middle of her back... yeah. She wore to her son's wedding, black pants, black vest, a colored shirt and what looked like black tennis shoes - and I'll pay someone to prove to me she smiled once that whole day. She walked down the aisle with her silk red rose and I pondered why one couldn't spend $6 for a dressy pair of shoes...after all that is what J did... (mum-in-law). But then again if you're scraping by that might be a bit too much and for something you will never need again... so I get that just giving the full picture. I also do not believe she sat down to eat at the dinner, all I saw her was running around and tending to things - which is more than either mother of the bride did, after all that is so not in their wheel house - J writes a check and T - asks her father to write a check.
My sister commented that the mom of the groom appeared to be a hard woman - that is apt - and frankly if I met her in a bar or dark alley - I'd apologize and move on with my day. Mum-in-law was all too willing to dish the dirt on her... apparently Groom Mama and the bride have already had words - color me surprised. And Groom Mama (GM for short) first said she would pay for food, and liquor, then said she'd do neither, then when forced by Bubba's sister managed to get her to buy the liquor - and I have documented how well that turned out. If I hadn't been driven I would have been drinking... because frankly it would have made this mess of a train wreck all the more fun. (the kitties are out today!)
Now in a complete bonus there is no smoking in the hall -- so 3/4's of the guests were outside most of the time! LOL... Now AFTER dinner - everyone has their jackets off, ties are gone, they decide to take pictures! Nope oh so not kidding. Should I mention when the in-laws were taking family pictures I got to stand around for 30 minutes then was nicely asked to sit next to the bride and groom on a bench outside the fire hall and snap went the picture-- alone just me with the bride and groom. And no I was not included in the group family shot... nice huh?
Oh and did I mention - again no flower? My sister said I have to get over it... and I have but just thought I'd mention I was dissed again... but considering my sister-in-law probably ordered the flowers NO big surprise there... speaking of flowers did I also mention they forgot the lapel flowers (cannot spell check that B-word!) for the men until AFTER the service? I put on three afterwards! Too freaking funny.
I will say the food was pretty good, roast pig was all right, dry as all get out - but still editable. The pasta they ordered well, let's just say it wandered through the sauce and got lost and with that getting lost turned into mush. Yum. Macaroni salad was good through - no onions bonus in my world.
Now - the reception, apparently they decided to give some 3rd cousin the gig - he was 12. Literally 12... he swallowed and subsequently SHOUTED into the microphone -(the doctor said the ringing will stop in a few days) He announced the wedding party as they walked in and again an offer of monetary compensation for anyone who understood a word this kid said. And no one applauded! They just walked in and sat down!!! When the bride and groom walked in then there was applause.
Oh and the darling precocious snot used the following classy way to get every one's attention... (HEY! YINZ! HEY - everybody!) again note the methodology of microphone use... just makes your head hurt reading about it don't it? I do believe when Floyd made reference to the "quality" DJ it was quipped by yours truly that you get what you pay for... (hey cousin Earl - bring your I-pod and the big speakers we built and that Mr. Microphone you done got for Christmas last year I need a DJ for the weddin')... I could be paraphrasing. - his name I don't think was Earl.
For the bride's dance - which he continually called the dollar dance - which in my world had a WHOLE other meaning... he play FAST songs so you had to jump around like an idiot! I took Martina - and had some fun with her; she was fascinated with all that finery... thankfully she missed the under pinning red-neckery her mama and I enjoyed that! And while I'm on the "dollar dance" isn't is odd that neither mum or father in law danced with the bride or groom - or any member of the family -- but me? Nope not kidding!
They did the garter and bouquet toss as Sis and I were packing up to head out we were pushing 9 hours for the pups home alone, and I think Sis had had enough. That and the mum-in-law had discovered Jello shooters and was winding up for a good time... she said she was going to call me Sunday... nope haven't heard from her but post football I will call home and let them know I'm home. Maybe.
As we were heading out to go back to my car, sis mentioned that the word she would use for the bride is "fake"... thank you! I'm so glad it wasn't just me...I'd gotten the two faced vibe from both her and Bubba's sister... glad to know that radar isn't jammed... Bubba has no clue - mainly because when it comes to his family his radar is completely jammed! LOL
So I made it back to Nana's without muss or fuss - until I was at the bottom of the hill where I could have WALKED to Nana's house but.. as previously noted - Battle of the high school bands -- they had the roads blocked! It took another 10 minutes to get around and about and to the house... where I did park in the back until I saw an opening up front. I texted the sister arrived safe - she did same, and then pulled apart the dogs, Violet not eating but guarding her food, Shelby wanting to help her didn't make for puppy happiness...
I have a bruised thumb to show for that bit of fun - started to blog all this wedding wonderfulness but all day sans attention and the pups were demanding. So we mellowed out - watched Diners, Drive ins and Dives went to bed early - was up early and headed home about 9AM.
Stopped in halfway ish (Breezewood to those in the know) to allow pups to go and avoid any nearly home accidents - although for this trip home I dumped them both in the back and left them there... Yes Shelby barked but I think she was tired enough not to make me crazy for very long. Bubba called from Vegas when I was about 30 minutes from home-home we chatted quickly as his mind was on breakfast with his buddy and Vegas and he could give a fat rats' be-hind about any of this nonsense.
I got home in time for kickoff... enjoyed a large lunch and am now contemplating going to bed at 8 PM with the hope of a good night's sleep.
Now if I could just get rid of this nagging feeling that I forgot to do something at Nana's... both doors locked, alarm set, water off, dishes washed, bed made.... it's in my head (please Lord) oh sure ask for his help after all his catty-catty... yeah well I don't hit kids and I don't abuse animals how about a break for the deadly sin of gossipin' ... soon to be followed by sloth -- gluttony was 2 hours ago. oh screw it -- as previously mentioned ticket has already been punched -- one way straight to the tanning booth.
Enjoy y'all... is all the popcorn gone?
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I'm here!! And I'm tired.
The trip to Nana's was 9/10's uneventful. I got started later than I wanted to but hey, I know there would have been gunk encrusted dishes in my sink when I got home, so I did that before I left, I took my time and packed everything I thought I might need - and worried about forgetting something... but without Bubba yelling at me I was fairly organized and together. I hit a bit of traffic of course heading out of DC but things moved smoothly after we left that mess...
I didn't stop - which for me not needing a pee break was something amazing, unfortunately I paid in the price in terms of my dog... we are BLOCKS from my mothers and doesn't Shelby leave a present on my front seat... now you may ask what she was doing on my front seat instead of the back of bus per usual? I will tell you - Shelby BARKS for 3.5 hours on these trips sans Bubba... so when we are sans - I put her up front with me and she may bark once or twice but I can twap her nose and thus endth the barking... see? Method to madness - just paid the price of major football words were said, I got home, get them out, put them on leashes as there was a woman walking around and I didn't want any unfriendly gestures... so basically got things tended, turned the water on, and got myself all settled in - and yes of course I cleaned my seat within an inch of it's life... I hope the nice clean smell is what lingers... I had planned on a trip to the car wash Sunday anyway...
So I'm here, text my sister the information she needed - should have done that earlier in the week but I was busy with the mythical Dell tech and other issues.. but she has the information she needs and it's all good. And I feel less guilty over sucking up her Saturday. Not sure how her husband feels about it... I probably should have checked on that one... sorry M.
ANY who... no worries, I sat up a bit, talked to Bubba and went to bed - at 1:30 AM Violet decided she needed out - NOW. Fine, found my glasses, took a coat from Nana and went outside to discover apparently winter has already hit in Western PA... great - did not bring enough clothes for the wedding - I will drink coffee after all I'm awake and outside and 1-freaking 30 in the AM. They both peed, wandered, we went back to bed - Violet nudged me for another 15 minutes because she couldn't get under the bed. I was close to killing her or me - it was close to a tie at one point. Finally we all settled down and I died...
Until 6:45 when the other nose insisted that I arise from my snuggled in slumber... fab. So once again, out, bodily functions, breakfast, I laid around a bit then said screw it and went back to bed. Then I stared at the ceiling, rolled over, turned the TV on, then read my book... then I heard... THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA! My first thought - well frankly was WTF? Who is banging on the door? No, that wasn't the door, the dogs are still sleeping (little snots) I listened again as it started again... THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA- ah wait, its got rhythm there are other things now mixed - oh screw me... battle of the high school bands - at the field right down the street from Mom's house... and they are warming up at 8:30 in the AM... so much for going back to sleep....like that was happening anyway.
So up, dressed, made coffee, let the dogs out, cleaned up the back yard and now inside posting to the world to let everyone (both of you) know I'm alive and well - --ah alive and upright might be more accurate at this point. So now coffee, breakfast and a VERY long walk for my pups, then shower, primp and away I got to the wedding of the century - part 2... ;-)
Stay tuned... with any luck I'll post wedding details tonight or tomorrow from my house. If I'm up as early tomorrow as I am today - you can bet your sweet bippy I'll be home in time for the game.
Later...
I didn't stop - which for me not needing a pee break was something amazing, unfortunately I paid in the price in terms of my dog... we are BLOCKS from my mothers and doesn't Shelby leave a present on my front seat... now you may ask what she was doing on my front seat instead of the back of bus per usual? I will tell you - Shelby BARKS for 3.5 hours on these trips sans Bubba... so when we are sans - I put her up front with me and she may bark once or twice but I can twap her nose and thus endth the barking... see? Method to madness - just paid the price of major football words were said, I got home, get them out, put them on leashes as there was a woman walking around and I didn't want any unfriendly gestures... so basically got things tended, turned the water on, and got myself all settled in - and yes of course I cleaned my seat within an inch of it's life... I hope the nice clean smell is what lingers... I had planned on a trip to the car wash Sunday anyway...
So I'm here, text my sister the information she needed - should have done that earlier in the week but I was busy with the mythical Dell tech and other issues.. but she has the information she needs and it's all good. And I feel less guilty over sucking up her Saturday. Not sure how her husband feels about it... I probably should have checked on that one... sorry M.
ANY who... no worries, I sat up a bit, talked to Bubba and went to bed - at 1:30 AM Violet decided she needed out - NOW. Fine, found my glasses, took a coat from Nana and went outside to discover apparently winter has already hit in Western PA... great - did not bring enough clothes for the wedding - I will drink coffee after all I'm awake and outside and 1-freaking 30 in the AM. They both peed, wandered, we went back to bed - Violet nudged me for another 15 minutes because she couldn't get under the bed. I was close to killing her or me - it was close to a tie at one point. Finally we all settled down and I died...
Until 6:45 when the other nose insisted that I arise from my snuggled in slumber... fab. So once again, out, bodily functions, breakfast, I laid around a bit then said screw it and went back to bed. Then I stared at the ceiling, rolled over, turned the TV on, then read my book... then I heard... THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA! My first thought - well frankly was WTF? Who is banging on the door? No, that wasn't the door, the dogs are still sleeping (little snots) I listened again as it started again... THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA- ah wait, its got rhythm there are other things now mixed - oh screw me... battle of the high school bands - at the field right down the street from Mom's house... and they are warming up at 8:30 in the AM... so much for going back to sleep....like that was happening anyway.
So up, dressed, made coffee, let the dogs out, cleaned up the back yard and now inside posting to the world to let everyone (both of you) know I'm alive and well - --ah alive and upright might be more accurate at this point. So now coffee, breakfast and a VERY long walk for my pups, then shower, primp and away I got to the wedding of the century - part 2... ;-)
Stay tuned... with any luck I'll post wedding details tonight or tomorrow from my house. If I'm up as early tomorrow as I am today - you can bet your sweet bippy I'll be home in time for the game.
Later...
Friday, September 16, 2011
That funny feeling...
Traveling alone to PA--- if I don't post wedding details by Tuesday - someone call Bubba I might be lost. ;-)
I got up early to get to work early to go home early to get on the road early - but I'm tired... and I don't want to drive alone....but I will because I'm the good egg-- or the sucker everyone has their own opinion.
Work is dead, I'm waiting for my office mate to disapppear so I can too a bit later.
I've got a number of errands to tend before I get on the road but hoping the ride is a smooth one. I've got cool radio for a few more days... so we'll see how far that gets me. I will chat later maybe when I get to Nana's.
Later and remember no wedding details - send out the hounds!
I got up early to get to work early to go home early to get on the road early - but I'm tired... and I don't want to drive alone....but I will because I'm the good egg-- or the sucker everyone has their own opinion.
Work is dead, I'm waiting for my office mate to disapppear so I can too a bit later.
I've got a number of errands to tend before I get on the road but hoping the ride is a smooth one. I've got cool radio for a few more days... so we'll see how far that gets me. I will chat later maybe when I get to Nana's.
Later and remember no wedding details - send out the hounds!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
ITS FIXED... HOLY AND COW!
Yes boys and girls after 11 days sans personal home computer the tech I was equating to a unicorn because frankly I was beginning to think he didn't exist actually showed up at my house with new computer parts in hand... and 20 minutes later... we have the right kind of flashing lights and the pieces and parts all whizzing along in electronic bliss... ahhhhh...
Now... Labor Day weekend was so freaking long ago who remembers what Bubba did - so we'll leave it at what was hurriedly posted and move on m'kay?
Next we missed the week that frankly should have been named Rain- mageddon... so let's take some stock here, yes it was a tropical depression named Lee - and boy did the chick need some serious drugs yes we all get a little blue when it rains but she took this to a WHOLE other level... 6 days of rain, off, on, pour sprinkle, mostly pouring... then came the floods, roads washed out, schools closed and 2.5 hour drive home from work Thursday which was day 6 of Rain- mageddon and the water rushing from the construction site near the mall close to my office - took 3 lanes down to two and I won't even begin to think about the moron who put this large black plastic tube thing in the middle of the road WTH was that for? To channel the water - from the large pond in the lane to the small, faster tube in the middle of the lane? I still have no clue who was thinking what with that bit of logic!
But we survived sans any personal flooding although there were a number of pairs of shoes that required drying time; and the umbrella got quite the workout. Finally the sun returned oh I will admit we had to use the Internet on the phone to figure out what that thing was in the sky but good-old- google and such and by gum there it was! The sun! We have since mostly dried out, cleaned up the back yard of puppy presents, Bubba mowed (and bailed) the grass and we enjoyed a mellow weekend.
The parental units stopped by on their way to the Shriner's week at the beach, they enjoyed their wine tour as I got another drunken call from Nana they then found their Motel 6 (which did leave the light on for them) and she called later having slept off that bit of fun. They enjoyed of week of warm sun and beach sand while I wondered what the guy down the street was going with all that lumber and was quizzing the neighbors on the proper length or width of a cubit. (Bill Cosby fans will get that one)
This past week we will call - Dell screws with Aunt Ing... Tech calls last Thursday at 10 AM on the home number - of course he has all 3 of my numbers he calls one. Later that same day some woman calls and says if I don't call her back they will close the ticket... apparently there is a 30 second window to which I have time to call them back... I didn't make it... then it's 3 days of international calls to "Peggy" in India telling me, the ticket is closed, the will reopen and the tech will call, he did. Told me yes the ticket was closed but he will order the part and be at my place on Tuesday afternoon. Well Doctor appointment Tuesday morning, Bug guy in the afternoon - screw it took the day off. Those 2 things occurred Tuesday - guess what didn't? Yep- the mythical Dell tech of unicorn farts didn't appear - did he call? write? smoke signal? Nope - I called to learn he ordered the part after hours, didn't arrive Tuesday not coming. There began a series of seriously cranky phone calls from Maryland to India to the mid-west and back again... FINALLY Wednesday he called, I confirmed he had the part, then he calls and says he can't work past 5:30 - why dinner will be cold? So fine - get your backside to my house at 7:00 AM Thursday morning - oh yeah and Bubba I've got to go by 7:15 because I have an 8:30 meeting in VA... so you get to say and watch the guy... bye!
And that is pretty much how it went this morning, I was up, moving, dressed and making breakfast when he knocked on the door... I finished making my egg, he had the computer apart and I left Bubba making his own lunch and waiting on the tech... life boys and girls in my world was a happy thing!
Today - today was different. I was among a select group of 125 folks who also work for Large Nameless Corporation to be part of their mentor program - I am looking for a mentor not to be one... apparently there were 500 applicants... color me floored I got in... So I put on my big girl interview suit and away I go. To sit in a room with major over achievers and try and sell myself to corporate senior managers hoping that one of them will pick me to introduce me to all their big-wig corporate friends so I can do something managerial and corporate.. or not. We shall see. I have a week and change to read bio's and list 5 people I would like to be my mentor... right now I am so brain dead I'm amazed there isn't drool coming out of my mouth...
i went into work-work and killed 3 hours, talked to some folks and then raced home at the lightening fast speed of 10 miles per hour to get my hair done before the wedding...
Yes boys and girls its that weekend, a wedding of my niece A with her 3 children, to two baby daddies, and her second wedding all before the tender age of 25. And to add to this batch of a good time, Bubba will be in Vegas. I am going to an in-law function alone - well not entirely - I dragged my sister along with me... I may tell my in-laws a fib like she's staying with me at the house... or not. So tomorrow I pack up, head out, and drive with me and the dogs, to my parents house, sans parents as they are on a cruise in Alaska! to attend the red-neckerson's wedding extravaganza! And I can't drink because - I have to drive myself home. I'll drink when I get home.
Wardrobe has become a major issue in my world... it's suppose to be in the 60's and the dress I wanted to wear is a bit more summer. But I'm thinking screw it - I'll wear it anyway and just wear a jacket and my snappy, snazzy dressy shoes. I can wear my snappy, snazzy dressy shoes because we will be in a building and not tents at the groom's mom's farm... which was Plan A we heard in May. It was farm time - I'd be wearing sneakers - and old ones.
So stay tuned for this weekend promises to be enlightening and I will do my best to keep to brain to mouth filter fully engaged.... I may need duct tape.
Off to enjoy a shake free night as the blog has been updated and I have vented to the Internet - and the 3 people who read this drivel. Well 2 Nana is on vacation. ;-)
Final thought for tonight.... we've had an earthquake, a hurricane, a tropical depression, and floods - anyone else think I should be making church a regular habit - or figure my ticket is punched and enjoy the ride and bring suntan lotion.... yeah me too - SF 75 might help for a few minutes.
Now... Labor Day weekend was so freaking long ago who remembers what Bubba did - so we'll leave it at what was hurriedly posted and move on m'kay?
Next we missed the week that frankly should have been named Rain- mageddon... so let's take some stock here, yes it was a tropical depression named Lee - and boy did the chick need some serious drugs yes we all get a little blue when it rains but she took this to a WHOLE other level... 6 days of rain, off, on, pour sprinkle, mostly pouring... then came the floods, roads washed out, schools closed and 2.5 hour drive home from work Thursday which was day 6 of Rain- mageddon and the water rushing from the construction site near the mall close to my office - took 3 lanes down to two and I won't even begin to think about the moron who put this large black plastic tube thing in the middle of the road WTH was that for? To channel the water - from the large pond in the lane to the small, faster tube in the middle of the lane? I still have no clue who was thinking what with that bit of logic!
But we survived sans any personal flooding although there were a number of pairs of shoes that required drying time; and the umbrella got quite the workout. Finally the sun returned oh I will admit we had to use the Internet on the phone to figure out what that thing was in the sky but good-old- google and such and by gum there it was! The sun! We have since mostly dried out, cleaned up the back yard of puppy presents, Bubba mowed (and bailed) the grass and we enjoyed a mellow weekend.
The parental units stopped by on their way to the Shriner's week at the beach, they enjoyed their wine tour as I got another drunken call from Nana they then found their Motel 6 (which did leave the light on for them) and she called later having slept off that bit of fun. They enjoyed of week of warm sun and beach sand while I wondered what the guy down the street was going with all that lumber and was quizzing the neighbors on the proper length or width of a cubit. (Bill Cosby fans will get that one)
This past week we will call - Dell screws with Aunt Ing... Tech calls last Thursday at 10 AM on the home number - of course he has all 3 of my numbers he calls one. Later that same day some woman calls and says if I don't call her back they will close the ticket... apparently there is a 30 second window to which I have time to call them back... I didn't make it... then it's 3 days of international calls to "Peggy" in India telling me, the ticket is closed, the will reopen and the tech will call, he did. Told me yes the ticket was closed but he will order the part and be at my place on Tuesday afternoon. Well Doctor appointment Tuesday morning, Bug guy in the afternoon - screw it took the day off. Those 2 things occurred Tuesday - guess what didn't? Yep- the mythical Dell tech of unicorn farts didn't appear - did he call? write? smoke signal? Nope - I called to learn he ordered the part after hours, didn't arrive Tuesday not coming. There began a series of seriously cranky phone calls from Maryland to India to the mid-west and back again... FINALLY Wednesday he called, I confirmed he had the part, then he calls and says he can't work past 5:30 - why dinner will be cold? So fine - get your backside to my house at 7:00 AM Thursday morning - oh yeah and Bubba I've got to go by 7:15 because I have an 8:30 meeting in VA... so you get to say and watch the guy... bye!
And that is pretty much how it went this morning, I was up, moving, dressed and making breakfast when he knocked on the door... I finished making my egg, he had the computer apart and I left Bubba making his own lunch and waiting on the tech... life boys and girls in my world was a happy thing!
Today - today was different. I was among a select group of 125 folks who also work for Large Nameless Corporation to be part of their mentor program - I am looking for a mentor not to be one... apparently there were 500 applicants... color me floored I got in... So I put on my big girl interview suit and away I go. To sit in a room with major over achievers and try and sell myself to corporate senior managers hoping that one of them will pick me to introduce me to all their big-wig corporate friends so I can do something managerial and corporate.. or not. We shall see. I have a week and change to read bio's and list 5 people I would like to be my mentor... right now I am so brain dead I'm amazed there isn't drool coming out of my mouth...
i went into work-work and killed 3 hours, talked to some folks and then raced home at the lightening fast speed of 10 miles per hour to get my hair done before the wedding...
Yes boys and girls its that weekend, a wedding of my niece A with her 3 children, to two baby daddies, and her second wedding all before the tender age of 25. And to add to this batch of a good time, Bubba will be in Vegas. I am going to an in-law function alone - well not entirely - I dragged my sister along with me... I may tell my in-laws a fib like she's staying with me at the house... or not. So tomorrow I pack up, head out, and drive with me and the dogs, to my parents house, sans parents as they are on a cruise in Alaska! to attend the red-neckerson's wedding extravaganza! And I can't drink because - I have to drive myself home. I'll drink when I get home.
Wardrobe has become a major issue in my world... it's suppose to be in the 60's and the dress I wanted to wear is a bit more summer. But I'm thinking screw it - I'll wear it anyway and just wear a jacket and my snappy, snazzy dressy shoes. I can wear my snappy, snazzy dressy shoes because we will be in a building and not tents at the groom's mom's farm... which was Plan A we heard in May. It was farm time - I'd be wearing sneakers - and old ones.
So stay tuned for this weekend promises to be enlightening and I will do my best to keep to brain to mouth filter fully engaged.... I may need duct tape.
Off to enjoy a shake free night as the blog has been updated and I have vented to the Internet - and the 3 people who read this drivel. Well 2 Nana is on vacation. ;-)
Final thought for tonight.... we've had an earthquake, a hurricane, a tropical depression, and floods - anyone else think I should be making church a regular habit - or figure my ticket is punched and enjoy the ride and bring suntan lotion.... yeah me too - SF 75 might help for a few minutes.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
No it ain't fixed yet....
The home computer that is... and I've been acutally busy at work so no time there... so now with the bills paid, the grocery list done, and 5 minutes to myself I have taken the hubby's work computer and soothed the savage beast that is not having an outlet for life.
Let me start by stating that not traveling on a holiday weekend is remarkably stress free if not a bit lonely - in a conversational context because as we have 'chatted' here Bubba isn't much of a talker when the tube is on, or when he's eating or when he's awake... let's just say he isn't chatty and leave it at that shall we? Now that being said it was just the two of us all weekend - toghether without plans - alone - together... heaven help me but we managed to survive.
First let me start with a tale of my own stupidity... I freely admit in a hurry ticked off at him and annoyed at being nagged... go find what you want and let I'll order it. But no! I go out on ebay find his cell phone covers don't pay attention miss the X before the 2 and don't realize the darn things are coming from freaking China... and when they finally did get here - wrong kind! CARP! So I email ask for an exchange willing to pay shipping and get a response that - that is what I ordered. Yes, I know, work with a dork will you? Apparently not - so screw you I'll sell them on ebay and I went and got him a Steelers Cover for his phone from the good old US of A and it arrived today - VERY fast and all was well...except for still no home computer and still have the ones I ordered and the Steelers one was more money but hey.
Anyway... Labor Day weekend, after the rain fest that was the previous weekend this one was of course warm, sunny, and humid. we did the usual weekend stuff, we tossed in a game of Power grid with the neighbors with Chinese food, hung out dishes, laundry, yeah I know exciting isn't it? But well rested and no fights over family time, traffic and which dog is going to do something stupid while we're home... so there is an upside.
The rain began again in earnest Monday afternoon - night then eased off, but apparently followed my parents from PA to MD and trickled off enough to let them bring in luggage for the night.
Oh crap he's here... more later I hope... computer guy scheduled for Monday.
Let me start by stating that not traveling on a holiday weekend is remarkably stress free if not a bit lonely - in a conversational context because as we have 'chatted' here Bubba isn't much of a talker when the tube is on, or when he's eating or when he's awake... let's just say he isn't chatty and leave it at that shall we? Now that being said it was just the two of us all weekend - toghether without plans - alone - together... heaven help me but we managed to survive.
First let me start with a tale of my own stupidity... I freely admit in a hurry ticked off at him and annoyed at being nagged... go find what you want and let I'll order it. But no! I go out on ebay find his cell phone covers don't pay attention miss the X before the 2 and don't realize the darn things are coming from freaking China... and when they finally did get here - wrong kind! CARP! So I email ask for an exchange willing to pay shipping and get a response that - that is what I ordered. Yes, I know, work with a dork will you? Apparently not - so screw you I'll sell them on ebay and I went and got him a Steelers Cover for his phone from the good old US of A and it arrived today - VERY fast and all was well...except for still no home computer and still have the ones I ordered and the Steelers one was more money but hey.
Anyway... Labor Day weekend, after the rain fest that was the previous weekend this one was of course warm, sunny, and humid. we did the usual weekend stuff, we tossed in a game of Power grid with the neighbors with Chinese food, hung out dishes, laundry, yeah I know exciting isn't it? But well rested and no fights over family time, traffic and which dog is going to do something stupid while we're home... so there is an upside.
The rain began again in earnest Monday afternoon - night then eased off, but apparently followed my parents from PA to MD and trickled off enough to let them bring in luggage for the night.
Oh crap he's here... more later I hope... computer guy scheduled for Monday.
Friday, September 2, 2011
PANIC ---MAYHEM
Computer is down at home... working on Bubba's laptop due to an cell phone cover order error on my part.... sigh....
Called support I have a fried mother board... life is not fair a 3 day weekend at home with Bubba alone... and no computer... I do have his password... we may have to go "office" (think rest room) with his computer just to save my sanity.. more updates when I can...
Pray for the mother board.. stupid computer. ;-)
Called support I have a fried mother board... life is not fair a 3 day weekend at home with Bubba alone... and no computer... I do have his password... we may have to go "office" (think rest room) with his computer just to save my sanity.. more updates when I can...
Pray for the mother board.. stupid computer. ;-)
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