So our heroine is at her in-laws all is still well, Steeler game is over it's a W and we're headed out to the Sister in-law's. You remember her - she loves us! (insert tongue firmly into cheek here). Where IS that sarcasm font? Any who.... I gave the Pap a quick call, he slept through the second half of the game, so we don't chat - we head out and away we go!
We arrive to happy, happy, kiss, kiss and I am waiting for the big reveal. My sister-in-law and her daughter decided to buy a puppy for said husband/ father (not in a West Virginia way -- never mind read the sentence again people!) Moving ON - Brother-in-law R is on the phone trying to clear up the mail order mess of his daughter's while everyone else is waiting for him to get OFF the phone so they can spring this "surprise" on the poor man. Now I say that as the breed they purchased (which annoys me - there are plenty of rescues out there not to mention the fact they let the last dog they had DIE because $400 was too much money for surgery!) And I am climbing down off my soap box and getting back to the tale.... So - off the phone herded down the stairs (as it got cold outside waiting) and this bundle is dumped into his arms.... and to our amazement!! He's HAPPY! Go figure. OK so everyone back upstairs, play with puppy, niece D's puppy comes out - sniff, sniff, play play looks good so far. So there is us, the sister-in-law and her family, the parental units, Granny, and an aunt and her husband. Niece A comes in announces that she saw some body's car outside, and she's not staying she's dropping off gifts. Now Mum-in-law J and sister T start shouting that this person isn't here and WTF and all sorts of other things. Now as Bubba and I have NO clue who this person is and what crawled up A's backside and took up residence we stay where we are and say nothing. I guess they sent enough repeated information to Niece A that it hit that the person she apparently had an issue with is not the car she sees, and all is better and she and family invades.
Now let me take a small left turn here and go back to the time at the mum's house where she proceeds to tell me that the new husband of 4 months has a work ethic issue. He has a seasonal job now and is laid off for the winter and instead of going to Wal or Target or where ever to get a job and some income he sits and home... oh goodie these two lay abouts are married. And Mum J ain't too happy about it - Bubba later told me that Niece A is coming to her for grocery money... seriously. If that were me I have that boy by the ear and be "helping" him fill out applications - get up off your fanny and feed this family you fathered.... it's official God hates me.
(and in and out --- ) So anyway -- back to crazy central where eldest grand nephew decides like his mother before him to scope out what was his and begins to kick (yes literally) kick at Christmas presents... as he got close the gifts I had purchased for Mum and Bubba which were 1) glass and 2) not cheap his foot met my hand and my words of wisdom of what would happen to his little fanny if he kept at it. He moved on. And yes I'm that Aunt Ing... don't mess with me. :-)
Now the fun begins, we open presents, kids are happy, big noise new puppy is asleep in a corner, Bubba and I do well and only one brief moment when I can't find the gift for Niece D's boyfriend - thankfully it was mixed with Mum J's and whew.... everyone seemed pleased and for a change I did right by the little ones. The car for the youngest when he shook the rattle the car went! The Elmo purse for Add was a big hit, and of course my legos didn't make noise or light up but I know they are a favored toy - sooner or later. There was family time and I managed not to say anything that would offend, think to offend or even hint around a mouth to filter failure of any kind. Do I have to say I didn't have anything - shall we say in the adult beverage category? No -- Not lesson learned - learned not to drink sweet wine crap served at the in-laws. Not to drink - do you read this blog regularly??? Seriously people.
So we stay late, playing cards and enjoying left late into the night and got home late. I feeling quite well in the in-law time even Bubba had no post-game commentary on what he perceived as an "issue" to which I usually and promptly ignore and then blog about.
We had a minor incident at Casa-De Ing's Parents when Violet proceeded to "gift" the parental units with a "present" in the kitchen. The jury is still out if this was sick or they missed the hound wounding through the house that she needed out... we'll vote again later.
and you can't just claim the not getting my twisty brain thinking... you read THIS don't you?)
SO! All Church'ed up and with both Bubba and I in there the place is still standing -- bonus! Dinner prep begins in earnest I again have the honor of massaging the roast beast (aka beef roast) with oil and spices and chopping all veggies and goodies with wine and stock and all sorts of happy things and into the oven it goes. I finally change clothes and then about the time we have some expectation of little ones arriving Violet decides to get SICK... she's barfing, and pooping and thankfully this is outside, but her tummy was all extended and she's hiding and it's freaking me out! We can't find an ER Vet in Western Pa that is willing to answer the freaking emergency number... then finally after nearly an hour - everyone has arrived - she bolts up on last massive noise, her tummy is back to normal and I am nearly beside myself with relief that she looks better. We get her back into the house, tucked into a corner she sleeps, we open presents, it's all happiness and shouts and bouncing and typical Christmas with kids. We get through all that, we make gingerbread houses - well decorate them, and then clean up THAT mess - get dinner on the table, and the noise level drops to one kids... niece Z begins to regale us all with tales of who knows at -of course - full volume and self entertainment. Post dinner violet drinks some water - which makes the stress level drop again, and a bit later with 4 drops of beef juice on her food Violet eats! Things are moving again as they should with the pup and much relief is felt.
Everyone is happy, but there is a level of caution as my brother's mother in law was again the ER, and to this date is still there, another surgery and is being told to stay put. Apparently when they sent her home the first time before Christmas she did too much and is now paying that bill.. major bummer to the Sis W and her family. And to my brother as we all can attest - having a spouse with family issues be it sick or otherwise - well it ain't fun for nobody and as every mother's child can also confirm if Mama ain't happy no one is.
Moving on, everyone heads out late, we all enjoy and embrace the noise level down from 12 to 3 and a short time later we all find our pillows. I think Bubba was pleased with his Christmas I know he liked the Lladro dog I got him and he wasnt' sure about the Muppet Show DVDs I got him - but hey I want to watch those! My parents were supposed to come down for a visit this week but thanks to Sandy and her traveling Nana service they are home with Martina - and seriously bummed I'm sure... (again see sarcasm font). Which also turned out to be a good thing as I have to work overnight tonight... yeah. On the upside home 'early' Friday - like post lunch.
The trip home was uneventful, again apparently I consulted the "don't say this stuff around Bubba list" and he had nothing to complain about. Oh sure I'm sure parts of him were not happy that he had to go back up to his family without me because my parents refused to have both of us gone with a sick pup at their place. What a hardship - shopping with Nana and sis while Bubba dealt with is family - alone. Tough going but I think we managed to figure it out. And frankly it was probably a good thing - he needs that time with just his family and without the in-law filter in place. Plus he can't accuse me of spreading anything around because I wasn't there. OH of course I asked but only in the nicest possible, good visit? kind of way? I did refrain from the "What is the latest up there?" questions - Bubba don't listen but he does occasionally catch on to that kind of up front gossip pump. I let things flow is how you get the tidbits of grocery money and a new puppy crying all night long...
Between you and the bits and bytes - that eldest Grand Nephew is going to be an issue sooner rather than later... he wanted to dogs to fight - he points toy guns at people and yes Nana negative attention is attention but negative can turn ugly in a heart beat. And with the two morons as parental figures.... that isn't nice... the two....people... who live with him in a pseudo- adult capacity (let's go with that) will not take the time, energy or good parenting skills to get things under control... please explain to me again why .... 3 kids without even working at it.... and me - oh never mind. Does anything think I will ever let this go? Me either... and shame on me for it. I am the QUEEN of let it go.... so letting go and getting back to getting ready for tonight.
One last thought on the trip it rained 2 days the entire time we were off.. the day we left and the say we came back to MD -- really?
Happy New Year... something tells me I may have time to post with the holiday... it's just me and Bubba - for 3 days. Thankfully we will have company for at least 1 of those days. Stay tuned...
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Christmas recap...
If you saw the previous post I will quickly document my Kindle fun... it took longer to deal with Verizon because SOMEONE deleted the email with the FIOS password on it... than it did to 1) register said Kindle, 2) download 2 books and 3) pull back from amazon.com before I spent my paycheck in books. It is a very good thing that I have also discovered the FREE kindle store... and have been shopping. Oh and did you know that you don't even have to log on to amazon - you can do that from your kindle. This thing is dangerous.
So let's replay the week that was holiday, family, drama, food, family, food and food. Did I mention the food? Work clothes shrank in my closet last week - what's up with that? Did the steam bath work in the closet? And I'm wandering again aren't I?
OK - so you've read all about getting home, Thursday was busy with cookies and cooking and roll this out and bake this and prep that and yes we should go to the Strip District in Pittsburgh but by the time we were done with this, that and the other I said let's go Friday. And what I dork I turned out to be.. sort of. We got up, go moving and post breakfast, dog walk, and pile in off we went to daun-tawn Pixsburgh (or downtown Pittsburgh to you non-yinzers). Nana drove, and her usual route was changed due to a bridge closure and other various PennDot devices utilized to make natives and tourists alike wonder who owns stock in the orange and white barrels - seen every-frickin'-where. Thanks to another kick-back of large orange detour signs we arrived at our destination without incident... and into the belly of the beast. What was I smoking the day before Christmas Eve and I am at the one shopping destination for every nationality in da'burgh. The biggest crowd - the Italians and every blasted one was in the Pennsylvania Macaroni Store - or Penn Mac to those in the know. Nana got her cheese number, I got the deli number and we proceeded to wander then realized that if you were not right there they blew by your number... so Nana and I stayed put and made new friends.
And let me wander off the path for a minute here.. the place was PACKED - I put a picture up on my face book page, raised phone hit click and posted wall to wall people. Mostly men... hummm ANY way everyone was seriously nice, polite and made room for folks and generally just chatted each other up while intently listening for our numbers (with letters) to be called.... my husband and my father hit the back of the store where the Dego-red wine was freely flowing. They also had time to wander up and down the street sampling, smelling and shopping, while Nana and I stood, waiting, chatting and waiting some more. Of course about the time my number will finally be called, my mother calls, my husband finds me and BINGO! J3 - HERE - HERE!!!! I'm short but I'm loud. Now as I hang up on my mother the same nano-second my oh-so-polite husband barks at me to hang up the f-ing phone.... I give the nice man my order and told my husband where to stick his holiday advice....
We get what we need, we are happy to sample all he provides, pay for our wares and head out and find said parental units. We wander the streets looking for a sandwich shop that will hopefully have a sandwich my husband had umpteen-years ago.... we walk by the place almost twice, find it - discover 1) it's warm, 2) it's not that crowded and 3) they have seating so we can enjoy our lunch... ahhhhhh. We do so, and off for more shopping. Nana got me my new Steelers badge holder - which I am now wearing - we also got new welcome mat that is assured to annoy our neighbors the Green Bay Packer Fan... :-D.
Bubba got a loaf of sun-dried tomato and basil bread, and when we told him to go and get it NOW rather than wait until later - he did, and got the last baked loaf, it would be another hour before more was ready.... see Bubba it pays to listen to the women in your life every now and again.... dorkus. So, we wander, we coffee, we make the 4 mile hike back to where we parked the car.. Good day. Cold and full, and shopped until we darn near dropped.
Christmas Eve... up to the in-laws zip zip zip... we arrived a little behind the agreed upon arrival time to find... the front door lock and it looked like no one was home! We arrive to find, yes Mum and Granny-in-law were indeed home, Mum still sporting around in her bathrobe at noon. She had recently has some skin things removed and tested and wearing of a bra was all sorts of uncomfortable so - we have to give that a pass... I guess. I generally don't bake in my night shirt, but I have been known to do the dishes in them. Laundry too...
So we get there we chat, we watch football. I have to remind my idiot husband that I do need some kind of a meal in the middle of the day... I eat.. they snack. Steelers won - good day. (part II coming)
So let's replay the week that was holiday, family, drama, food, family, food and food. Did I mention the food? Work clothes shrank in my closet last week - what's up with that? Did the steam bath work in the closet? And I'm wandering again aren't I?
OK - so you've read all about getting home, Thursday was busy with cookies and cooking and roll this out and bake this and prep that and yes we should go to the Strip District in Pittsburgh but by the time we were done with this, that and the other I said let's go Friday. And what I dork I turned out to be.. sort of. We got up, go moving and post breakfast, dog walk, and pile in off we went to daun-tawn Pixsburgh (or downtown Pittsburgh to you non-yinzers). Nana drove, and her usual route was changed due to a bridge closure and other various PennDot devices utilized to make natives and tourists alike wonder who owns stock in the orange and white barrels - seen every-frickin'-where. Thanks to another kick-back of large orange detour signs we arrived at our destination without incident... and into the belly of the beast. What was I smoking the day before Christmas Eve and I am at the one shopping destination for every nationality in da'burgh. The biggest crowd - the Italians and every blasted one was in the Pennsylvania Macaroni Store - or Penn Mac to those in the know. Nana got her cheese number, I got the deli number and we proceeded to wander then realized that if you were not right there they blew by your number... so Nana and I stayed put and made new friends.
And let me wander off the path for a minute here.. the place was PACKED - I put a picture up on my face book page, raised phone hit click and posted wall to wall people. Mostly men... hummm ANY way everyone was seriously nice, polite and made room for folks and generally just chatted each other up while intently listening for our numbers (with letters) to be called.... my husband and my father hit the back of the store where the Dego-red wine was freely flowing. They also had time to wander up and down the street sampling, smelling and shopping, while Nana and I stood, waiting, chatting and waiting some more. Of course about the time my number will finally be called, my mother calls, my husband finds me and BINGO! J3 - HERE - HERE!!!! I'm short but I'm loud. Now as I hang up on my mother the same nano-second my oh-so-polite husband barks at me to hang up the f-ing phone.... I give the nice man my order and told my husband where to stick his holiday advice....
We get what we need, we are happy to sample all he provides, pay for our wares and head out and find said parental units. We wander the streets looking for a sandwich shop that will hopefully have a sandwich my husband had umpteen-years ago.... we walk by the place almost twice, find it - discover 1) it's warm, 2) it's not that crowded and 3) they have seating so we can enjoy our lunch... ahhhhhh. We do so, and off for more shopping. Nana got me my new Steelers badge holder - which I am now wearing - we also got new welcome mat that is assured to annoy our neighbors the Green Bay Packer Fan... :-D.
Bubba got a loaf of sun-dried tomato and basil bread, and when we told him to go and get it NOW rather than wait until later - he did, and got the last baked loaf, it would be another hour before more was ready.... see Bubba it pays to listen to the women in your life every now and again.... dorkus. So, we wander, we coffee, we make the 4 mile hike back to where we parked the car.. Good day. Cold and full, and shopped until we darn near dropped.
Christmas Eve... up to the in-laws zip zip zip... we arrived a little behind the agreed upon arrival time to find... the front door lock and it looked like no one was home! We arrive to find, yes Mum and Granny-in-law were indeed home, Mum still sporting around in her bathrobe at noon. She had recently has some skin things removed and tested and wearing of a bra was all sorts of uncomfortable so - we have to give that a pass... I guess. I generally don't bake in my night shirt, but I have been known to do the dishes in them. Laundry too...
So we get there we chat, we watch football. I have to remind my idiot husband that I do need some kind of a meal in the middle of the day... I eat.. they snack. Steelers won - good day. (part II coming)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Home from the holidays
We are home, in one peice which may be more than I can say for Violet - right now she's fine... will document all after I'm done playing with my new Kindle... stay tuned.
Aunt Ing is about to make Mr. Amazon very happy... and Uncle Bubba even more so...
Aunt Ing is about to make Mr. Amazon very happy... and Uncle Bubba even more so...
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Ho, Ho, Home to Pa....
There are some things in my life that I know --- and still manage to forget or ignore. For a trip to the homestead in PA I think it is complete and total amnesia in regards to my husband's "attitude" as we pack for home.
Now this trip we must couple the fact that he hadn't eaten all day which by post lunch time means he's as happy as a PMS Bear with a thorn in its paw. If you've been reading up this past month you will see that the posts have been hit and miss and when I do post - it's mostly full of stuff I have to get done. Well today was it's done or it's not day... I was up and moving, fed the dogs, and took that quiet 30 minutes to myself... probably a good thing. Bubba was up and showered and had a work thing at 8:30. He smartly positioned himself in the office only he didn't shut the door so as I was upstairs plunking around in the kitchen I heard his call... I went down stairs and shut the door... dorkus.
Then... 2 hours of Zen, nails, fingers and toes and rubba-dub-dub. Ahhhh then I got home and I was surprised to see that the husband and my car - were not. Now when I left he was working on our shower - he wanted to fix the drip drip drip and not let it go the whole time we were gone. Fine... but that also meant that the car wasn't loaded and it would be longer before he was fed and watered - never good news.
Thankfully the fix was quick - but not before he was crabby patty because there wasn't anyone there to help him at 11:00 AM on a Wednesday at the local do it yourself warehouse store- think about it Bubba. So - in a fit of I don't know what - I said I would get the car set up for pups (in the back seat) and load the Christmas 'haul'... of course Harry Helpful wasn't as he stood around hauling stuff out and just dumped stuff in the back of the family truckster and stood there looking at me because I (note it was all me) over shopped for the family. I did point out that I did have one large bag for MY family and 2 large bags for his... but I overspent. Grump, grump grumble grumble. First Bank then food, of course there was this entire mess to get from point A to point B and Major Crankypants was out in FULL force... so by the time we got to the local fast food location - for which we had coupons! (because we had to have coupons!) He finally, after 10 minutes, made up his mind, (again at a FAST FOOD place) we ordered lunch and we ate.
Now I have blocked the source of the nasty words spoken to me at the local fast food joint because if I don't do that regularly - I would indeed be the next Lifetime movie Snapped - only they would have to dramatize mine with Ronald McDonald. And is it possible to murder a man with a Big Mac? - at least quickly? Best not to ponder; besides you don't want to traumatize the children.
So, up- productive - finally fed - and on our way - and of course it is raining which of course makes our hero oh - so very happy. We begin our journey and luck be the anything but a lady in MY world - she tosses road work and a back up on our way along with fog, rain, and at one point driving rain and of course my husband's complete inability to stay within the lines of the road there by giving us the run along the ribbed side of the road making the dogs nuts or the thumpa thumpa as we ride over the divots between the lanes... I read - it is a sanity saving device. Trust me.
There is very little discussed on our way and that is probably a good thing, but of course now he is fed and happy so the attitude has taken a decided positive adjustment... amazing how that works - and yet HE never admits to it being an issue. Someday I am going to remember to tape his royal crankiness when he hasn't been properly fed and watered and then tape in 30 minutes later when he's all sweetness and love - and he STILL probably won't get it. And again why bother...
Moving on - we arrived at Casa'd parental units and per usual "invade" dogs, their stuff, our stuff, Christmas, and clutter - WE'RE HERE!!! All is well until I stupidly ask my husband to take off the harness from Shelby - it's a doggie attach to seat belt thing.. and she peed all over Nana's dining room... And this was no nervous tinkle this was a I wasn't outside long enough to find the right place to go - river. Thankfully not on the carpet - cleaned up and moved on. Of course Major Crankypants was back in full force, and his friend Mr. Not-Helpful made an appearance as I asked for a plastic bag to house said yucky paper towel - Mr. Not-Helpful tries to walk in the same direction as the mess instead of turning around and going the other way... which technically was closer to where the plastic bags were... but hey... So I got up got the bag mutter to myself all sorts of fun and festive football words go the mess cleaned up and had several beers with dinner. See it all works out in the end.
Thursday as I post this (started last night in order to keep my hands busy from googling how to murder and get away with it - I know where to bury a body - apparently there is an Apple App for that now) we have made cookies, abused the husband a bit and created a video via email to annoy Bubba's sister. Fun no?
Final note - once again I will be persona non-grata at my in-laws because my dorky husband told his parents we are already in PA. We aren't going up there until Saturday. I did ask before we left home if he'd made plans with his family (he said no!)
He called again and his mother asked when we were coming up... I offered to go up tomorrow I was replied to with a flat NO. So fab-u-lous - I am the daughter in law who won't let her husband see his family when the opposite is true. But that is his decision and I am not going to stick my nose in it... just here. Because I can here - this is MY happy place and ... never mind. We'll just -- my happy place remember that.
Stay tuned, we have trip into Pittsburgh planned and of course the in-law "pop by" and other assorted Christmas goodies. Good thing Nana making egg nog - forgot mine at home.
Now this trip we must couple the fact that he hadn't eaten all day which by post lunch time means he's as happy as a PMS Bear with a thorn in its paw. If you've been reading up this past month you will see that the posts have been hit and miss and when I do post - it's mostly full of stuff I have to get done. Well today was it's done or it's not day... I was up and moving, fed the dogs, and took that quiet 30 minutes to myself... probably a good thing. Bubba was up and showered and had a work thing at 8:30. He smartly positioned himself in the office only he didn't shut the door so as I was upstairs plunking around in the kitchen I heard his call... I went down stairs and shut the door... dorkus.
Then... 2 hours of Zen, nails, fingers and toes and rubba-dub-dub. Ahhhh then I got home and I was surprised to see that the husband and my car - were not. Now when I left he was working on our shower - he wanted to fix the drip drip drip and not let it go the whole time we were gone. Fine... but that also meant that the car wasn't loaded and it would be longer before he was fed and watered - never good news.
Thankfully the fix was quick - but not before he was crabby patty because there wasn't anyone there to help him at 11:00 AM on a Wednesday at the local do it yourself warehouse store- think about it Bubba. So - in a fit of I don't know what - I said I would get the car set up for pups (in the back seat) and load the Christmas 'haul'... of course Harry Helpful wasn't as he stood around hauling stuff out and just dumped stuff in the back of the family truckster and stood there looking at me because I (note it was all me) over shopped for the family. I did point out that I did have one large bag for MY family and 2 large bags for his... but I overspent. Grump, grump grumble grumble. First Bank then food, of course there was this entire mess to get from point A to point B and Major Crankypants was out in FULL force... so by the time we got to the local fast food location - for which we had coupons! (because we had to have coupons!) He finally, after 10 minutes, made up his mind, (again at a FAST FOOD place) we ordered lunch and we ate.
Now I have blocked the source of the nasty words spoken to me at the local fast food joint because if I don't do that regularly - I would indeed be the next Lifetime movie Snapped - only they would have to dramatize mine with Ronald McDonald. And is it possible to murder a man with a Big Mac? - at least quickly? Best not to ponder; besides you don't want to traumatize the children.
So, up- productive - finally fed - and on our way - and of course it is raining which of course makes our hero oh - so very happy. We begin our journey and luck be the anything but a lady in MY world - she tosses road work and a back up on our way along with fog, rain, and at one point driving rain and of course my husband's complete inability to stay within the lines of the road there by giving us the run along the ribbed side of the road making the dogs nuts or the thumpa thumpa as we ride over the divots between the lanes... I read - it is a sanity saving device. Trust me.
There is very little discussed on our way and that is probably a good thing, but of course now he is fed and happy so the attitude has taken a decided positive adjustment... amazing how that works - and yet HE never admits to it being an issue. Someday I am going to remember to tape his royal crankiness when he hasn't been properly fed and watered and then tape in 30 minutes later when he's all sweetness and love - and he STILL probably won't get it. And again why bother...
Moving on - we arrived at Casa'd parental units and per usual "invade" dogs, their stuff, our stuff, Christmas, and clutter - WE'RE HERE!!! All is well until I stupidly ask my husband to take off the harness from Shelby - it's a doggie attach to seat belt thing.. and she peed all over Nana's dining room... And this was no nervous tinkle this was a I wasn't outside long enough to find the right place to go - river. Thankfully not on the carpet - cleaned up and moved on. Of course Major Crankypants was back in full force, and his friend Mr. Not-Helpful made an appearance as I asked for a plastic bag to house said yucky paper towel - Mr. Not-Helpful tries to walk in the same direction as the mess instead of turning around and going the other way... which technically was closer to where the plastic bags were... but hey... So I got up got the bag mutter to myself all sorts of fun and festive football words go the mess cleaned up and had several beers with dinner. See it all works out in the end.
Thursday as I post this (started last night in order to keep my hands busy from googling how to murder and get away with it - I know where to bury a body - apparently there is an Apple App for that now) we have made cookies, abused the husband a bit and created a video via email to annoy Bubba's sister. Fun no?
Final note - once again I will be persona non-grata at my in-laws because my dorky husband told his parents we are already in PA. We aren't going up there until Saturday. I did ask before we left home if he'd made plans with his family (he said no!)
He called again and his mother asked when we were coming up... I offered to go up tomorrow I was replied to with a flat NO. So fab-u-lous - I am the daughter in law who won't let her husband see his family when the opposite is true. But that is his decision and I am not going to stick my nose in it... just here. Because I can here - this is MY happy place and ... never mind. We'll just -- my happy place remember that.
Stay tuned, we have trip into Pittsburgh planned and of course the in-law "pop by" and other assorted Christmas goodies. Good thing Nana making egg nog - forgot mine at home.
Monday, December 19, 2011
And welcome to your quiet time...
Yes Quiet time - which ironically is your job - you know the one you get paid for.. this is where we find, peace, quiet time to sit down, and reflect. Because every other person here is off for the next two weeks, and no one has a meeting or hint of a project due this week or next, and all the parties and foolishness were finished last week - because every other person would be off this week and next. Fun.
This past weekend is a prime example of how Mondays have become "quiet time". Friday home early, 5 minute doctor appointment to tell me that the rash on my hand and arm is not some exotic allergy to working or house work, but merely a common reaction caused by everything and anything from stress, hormones, soap or air. Super - I'll be sure to avoid those doc.... yeesh. So he gave me a 'script for some cream which the pharmacy didn't have - (will have Monday) and I was home by 3. And since I had a headache to beat the band we didn't get much accomplished that evening... Saturday we got busy, wrapping gifts, finding parts of the house, finishing the laundry we started Friday night, then dressed and moving to see my former office mate and her family. It was such a nice night, saw some cool trains, got a gift out of the way for Sunday night, enjoyed a very nice dinner, chat chat, then uneventful ride home while I examined my eye lids for pin holes a few times. Then again tossed and turned for 3-4 seconds until the pillow warmed up and zzzzzzzz...
Sunday, the pups let me sleep in until 8:45 AM - amazing isn't it? Hit the wrapping paper and such again, managed a quick breakfast and got myself and the husband ready for the first of two parties of our Sunday. My former co-worker C had her annual party - it was nice to see former co-workers and other folks I've managed to keep in touch with. We didn't stay long, as we had to bounce back to Md, tend to the pups, mellow out for a few minutes, then walk around the neighborhood to our second event of Sunday, with good food, good neighbors, met a few new ones (other end of our horseshoe neighborhood) again enjoyed too much, then enjoyed the walk home with the hubby. After all he was fed, watered and content so things were good. We came home and watched as the Bal-ti-more birdies got their feathers handed to them, and then crawled into bed.. thankfully I had a doctor's appointment this morning, so no 4:30 AM wake up calls for me! I did manage to get Bubba's shirts into the cleaners, my gas tank filled, and my doctor's appointment done, then headed into work. If this had been the old job - I probably would have taken the day off - or worked from home. I do have a girl's meeting tonight - like a dork I didn't cancel... but it will be quick as Aunt Ing wants to get home in time for kickoff - and will probably stay up as late as she can - no car pool tomorrow either - Mr. Man has an after work gig. No worries.
Wednesday Bubba has a conference call - I have a nail appointment then we pack up and head home... heaven only knows what fun will come from the pack up - the trip and all that family. Stay tuned to see if Aunt Ing to manage to keep the brain to mouth filter fully engaged and locked down tight during our visit...
Stay warm...
This past weekend is a prime example of how Mondays have become "quiet time". Friday home early, 5 minute doctor appointment to tell me that the rash on my hand and arm is not some exotic allergy to working or house work, but merely a common reaction caused by everything and anything from stress, hormones, soap or air. Super - I'll be sure to avoid those doc.... yeesh. So he gave me a 'script for some cream which the pharmacy didn't have - (will have Monday) and I was home by 3. And since I had a headache to beat the band we didn't get much accomplished that evening... Saturday we got busy, wrapping gifts, finding parts of the house, finishing the laundry we started Friday night, then dressed and moving to see my former office mate and her family. It was such a nice night, saw some cool trains, got a gift out of the way for Sunday night, enjoyed a very nice dinner, chat chat, then uneventful ride home while I examined my eye lids for pin holes a few times. Then again tossed and turned for 3-4 seconds until the pillow warmed up and zzzzzzzz...
Sunday, the pups let me sleep in until 8:45 AM - amazing isn't it? Hit the wrapping paper and such again, managed a quick breakfast and got myself and the husband ready for the first of two parties of our Sunday. My former co-worker C had her annual party - it was nice to see former co-workers and other folks I've managed to keep in touch with. We didn't stay long, as we had to bounce back to Md, tend to the pups, mellow out for a few minutes, then walk around the neighborhood to our second event of Sunday, with good food, good neighbors, met a few new ones (other end of our horseshoe neighborhood) again enjoyed too much, then enjoyed the walk home with the hubby. After all he was fed, watered and content so things were good. We came home and watched as the Bal-ti-more birdies got their feathers handed to them, and then crawled into bed.. thankfully I had a doctor's appointment this morning, so no 4:30 AM wake up calls for me! I did manage to get Bubba's shirts into the cleaners, my gas tank filled, and my doctor's appointment done, then headed into work. If this had been the old job - I probably would have taken the day off - or worked from home. I do have a girl's meeting tonight - like a dork I didn't cancel... but it will be quick as Aunt Ing wants to get home in time for kickoff - and will probably stay up as late as she can - no car pool tomorrow either - Mr. Man has an after work gig. No worries.
Wednesday Bubba has a conference call - I have a nail appointment then we pack up and head home... heaven only knows what fun will come from the pack up - the trip and all that family. Stay tuned to see if Aunt Ing to manage to keep the brain to mouth filter fully engaged and locked down tight during our visit...
Stay warm...
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Hello? Hello?
Tapping screen - hello? Bueller? Yes, Yes I know it has been a while since last we spoke, and on such a matter - but I had to vent. (insert rim shot here) ANY way let me tell you WHY I haven't posted in as many days. Remember that comment about my lists having lists well my slutty little lists did everyone they saw and reproduced like - well like all the under 16 year olds in my life for the past 10 years... (they've been busy!)
So as I crossed off, consolidated, rewrote, and got stuff done I am down to a small, modestly dressed, well behaved list. That will discover her inner wild child in about 4 days -and birth another list or two of crap I have to get done.
With that analogy beat to death let's move on shall we? Let's go way back to Friday - up early, car pool, meeting at 10 I was supposed to be out the door and done at 11 - but as we all know my luck doesn't work that way and it was 12 noon when we left. Got home, at 12:45, changed, had lunch, gathered bags, lists, coupons and away I went, to the Dollar Store, to Big Lots, to Trader Joe's, to Aldi's --- where butter is $2 less than at the big grocery store! and almost everything else I needed was at least $1.50 cheaper per item. Now as I was almost finished with my shopping I remembered that they don't take credit... crap - ran to the bank, pulls some cash and finished what I needed to do. Hit the big grocery store spent $9.30 in stuff they didn't have pulled home. I baked lemon bars, peanut butter bars and my citrus biscotti cookies.
I had things lined up and ready to go for baking on Saturday, I had inventoried all my baking supplies and spices so I didn't buy what I didn't need, and well I over bought flour and eggs - but I'll make deviled eggs for New Year's Eve and it will all be good right? AND it ended up I had something to take over to the neighbors for game board night (the lemon bars) and had 3 kinds of cookies, very nicely displayed on my pretty Christmas tray for the Ladies' group on Monday.
Saturday I gave a list to Bubba - away he went and left me in happiness to make gingerbread houses, all 8 of them. 3 for the nieces and 5 more 1 company boss, 1 office mate, 1 admin assistant, 1 government boss, and 1 car pool buddy. They were a big hit and I was pleased, even though I see see all the 'opps' that they contain. Enough icing and candy can cover most sins. I worried because two wives of the above list are creative type who make jewelry and so when they say my handmade mess - -- and screw it I don't work for or with the wives - toss it in the heap if you want to... I shared the nog.
So Saturday got the house pieces baked, cleaned up went out to dinner, and next door for board games - then Sunday up and slowly moving and back at the backing, needed a few back up pieces, made cookies, and put together and decorated 5 ginger bread houses, including in a fit of I don't know what--- broke out this candy confetti stuff and PLACED individual pieces of red and green buttons on my piped icing stars - with a pair of tweezers because my red-tipped finger nails kept getting in the way... tweezers... What The Heck was I thinking? Oh sure when it was all done it looked really cool - but yeesh already what a dork I am. I finished, in time for my darling husband to look at me and say "When's dinner?" so cleaned up mess 1 made mess 2, cleaned that up and about 9 PM finally died on the couch. Monday I went back to work for the rest.
Worked all day, home early swung by doctor's office for paper work, Ladies' Group meeting, set out my cookies, loved my puppies, made dinner, ate dinner, made return address labels for the Christmas cards, made business cards with names for each recipient of my gingerbread houses, packaged those up, got things organized for Tuesday morning, got dressed and attended said Ladies' Group meeting, was darn near the last one out the lodge as I check things like the temperature (turned down when not there), lights out and hauling my load-oh-crap home. Got home, unloaded, changed, chatted to the hubby went to bed and tossed - for a whole 2-3 seconds.
Tuesday, slept in.. nice. Blood work with appointment, nice in-out-done, getting to that appointment - not so much, cookie tray, 5 gingerbread houses, anti-slip pads for said houses, 2 large bags of ice and 3 jars of egg nog - the partridge in his pair tree was tied to the roof - he needed the air. Don't Judge me.
Now you MAY ask why Tuesday for all this "stuff"? Well boys and girls Tuesday was the day for the office pot luck, all hands let's call this a lunch meeting so we can bill the time holiday thing. I said I would bring ice, since it had been in my freezer since the hurricane washed away my beach weekend...yes August. So I had it - I didn't have to cook it - and it came in a handy carrying bag. Plus now I have some room in my freezer - some - not much. Thankfully when I got into work, pulled the first load up I got a cart and several pairs of willing hands I managed to get the rest of this stuff from my family truckster into the office without trauma, breakage or major ice melt-age. Not bad. I was a big hit with the gingerbread houses, and it makes all the work pay off... lots and lots of nice compliments - it's all good... Tuesday's lunch coma hit about 2:30. Due to arrival time I worked late - OH - MY - GOODNESS have I gotten spoiled with the carpool - took forever to get home, Bubba called in a pizza order that I picked up. Of course while pulling into Pizza place he calls to yell at me about not returning a phone call in a timely manner but per his usual mantra grumped about my having enough time for "lodge crap" -- now when I pressed him about said Lodge Crap - and my meeting was Monday and what did that have to do with anything I just forgot to get back to her - see previous list of list statements... Oh yeah not to mention ordering flowers for HIS co-workers in GA and getting gift cards for his friend's kids in CA! But it's all the lodge crap I do that makes me forget a phone call....
ANY way - grumbled over that - picked up pizza, got home, ate, then wrote out Christmas cards, made Bubba help me he applies stamps and licks the envelops closed. Hey two less things I have to do - plus I quit signing our cards like Bubba - everyone gets my penmanship - even his mother. I know those of you who got cards from us previously may now be shattered that I have signed them all but - every woman reading this already knew that -- if there is a man out there reading this - he probably doesn't get half of what I whine about anyway...
SO -- moving on. Where was I? Oh yes Tuesday night - cards done, put into my bag to be dropped off by --who else? ME and away we go. To bed I go as I am finally getting to carpool again but that also means up by 4:30 to get myself presentable and awake enough to form a full sentence like "good morning". But Wednesday morning - our hero Aunt Ing rolls over looks at her clock and sees.... 5:22!!! UGH!!! The chubby chick can MOVE when she has to - in shower, washed hair and out in record time - a foot nudge to the hound dog still sleeping and me, the dogs and everything else rushed downstairs, dressed, fed dogs, hair make up and a skirt even and out the door I ran - thinking I would have to defrost and scrap the windshield - only didn't have to so... enjoyed that extra budgeted 3 minutes sitting in the parking lot wondering if I had indeed put on undergarments and quickly doubled checked that the bra was indeed, in place and fastened. Amazingly we were all good.
Wednesday work day mostly quiet, meetings, lunch out in which my government manager paid! Then to meeting at another building where I had to park in the next county over then trot in as I was running late - of course took time to pee - because I am the gal of the tiny bladder. I made the meeting within 4 minutes so not too bad - but my co-worker post meeting mentioned my huffing when I got in -- dude I'm a chubby chick in a hurry - there is going to be some blowing.
Wednesday ride home better than Tuesday's. And then I enjoyed my monthly massage, Bubba didn't want to wait for me to get home, so it was left overs night at the Casa-d-Bubba and that made Aunt Ing very happy. she was also very mellow upon her arrival home, rubbed by a professional in all the right places.
Tonight I'm meeting with my mentor for dinner and Bubba has a friend coming over to enjoy a hockey game on the TV. They are picking up dinner - so the pups will have a new friend to make tonight. And my commute home will be groovy as it will be post 8:00 PM.
My office mate also took me to a VERY nice lunch out today - I had duck, in a very nice salad with nuts and blue cheese and we shared a couple of desserts that were seriously yummy. I really really have to do something nice for him - yeah he got a gingerbread house, and egg nog, and I did get his grand daughter a Halloween goodie thing... I'll bring him more nog.
Friday promises to be not so quiet, meeting in the morning, minutes, stuff to clean up, possible government shut down to deal with and all those issues - which means my vacation could start Monday instead of Wednesday... we'll see - and then a doctor's appointment to see what the creeping crud is on my right hand and elbow that makes me look like I've got some kind of - well creeping crud.
All right - off to find the bottom of my desk, re-do my to do list and find directions to the restaurant I picked for dinner tonight with my mentor. I'll sleep when I'm dead.
On a final total chick note - those pajama things they are advertising as some great gift - with a hood and footies - Men (or man reading this blog) Just say no. What woman wants a onesie for a gift - and a leopard print with a tail?? No no NO. I don't care if it comes in a pretty box, and smelly stuff - that doesn't make up for that bit of Pj's foolishness... if you're that desperate for a gift - chocolate and flowers or something shiny--- BLING boys is always a a big hit.
Off of sand box.
So as I crossed off, consolidated, rewrote, and got stuff done I am down to a small, modestly dressed, well behaved list. That will discover her inner wild child in about 4 days -and birth another list or two of crap I have to get done.
With that analogy beat to death let's move on shall we? Let's go way back to Friday - up early, car pool, meeting at 10 I was supposed to be out the door and done at 11 - but as we all know my luck doesn't work that way and it was 12 noon when we left. Got home, at 12:45, changed, had lunch, gathered bags, lists, coupons and away I went, to the Dollar Store, to Big Lots, to Trader Joe's, to Aldi's --- where butter is $2 less than at the big grocery store! and almost everything else I needed was at least $1.50 cheaper per item. Now as I was almost finished with my shopping I remembered that they don't take credit... crap - ran to the bank, pulls some cash and finished what I needed to do. Hit the big grocery store spent $9.30 in stuff they didn't have pulled home. I baked lemon bars, peanut butter bars and my citrus biscotti cookies.
I had things lined up and ready to go for baking on Saturday, I had inventoried all my baking supplies and spices so I didn't buy what I didn't need, and well I over bought flour and eggs - but I'll make deviled eggs for New Year's Eve and it will all be good right? AND it ended up I had something to take over to the neighbors for game board night (the lemon bars) and had 3 kinds of cookies, very nicely displayed on my pretty Christmas tray for the Ladies' group on Monday.
Saturday I gave a list to Bubba - away he went and left me in happiness to make gingerbread houses, all 8 of them. 3 for the nieces and 5 more 1 company boss, 1 office mate, 1 admin assistant, 1 government boss, and 1 car pool buddy. They were a big hit and I was pleased, even though I see see all the 'opps' that they contain. Enough icing and candy can cover most sins. I worried because two wives of the above list are creative type who make jewelry and so when they say my handmade mess - -- and screw it I don't work for or with the wives - toss it in the heap if you want to... I shared the nog.
So Saturday got the house pieces baked, cleaned up went out to dinner, and next door for board games - then Sunday up and slowly moving and back at the backing, needed a few back up pieces, made cookies, and put together and decorated 5 ginger bread houses, including in a fit of I don't know what--- broke out this candy confetti stuff and PLACED individual pieces of red and green buttons on my piped icing stars - with a pair of tweezers because my red-tipped finger nails kept getting in the way... tweezers... What The Heck was I thinking? Oh sure when it was all done it looked really cool - but yeesh already what a dork I am. I finished, in time for my darling husband to look at me and say "When's dinner?" so cleaned up mess 1 made mess 2, cleaned that up and about 9 PM finally died on the couch. Monday I went back to work for the rest.
Worked all day, home early swung by doctor's office for paper work, Ladies' Group meeting, set out my cookies, loved my puppies, made dinner, ate dinner, made return address labels for the Christmas cards, made business cards with names for each recipient of my gingerbread houses, packaged those up, got things organized for Tuesday morning, got dressed and attended said Ladies' Group meeting, was darn near the last one out the lodge as I check things like the temperature (turned down when not there), lights out and hauling my load-oh-crap home. Got home, unloaded, changed, chatted to the hubby went to bed and tossed - for a whole 2-3 seconds.
Tuesday, slept in.. nice. Blood work with appointment, nice in-out-done, getting to that appointment - not so much, cookie tray, 5 gingerbread houses, anti-slip pads for said houses, 2 large bags of ice and 3 jars of egg nog - the partridge in his pair tree was tied to the roof - he needed the air. Don't Judge me.
Now you MAY ask why Tuesday for all this "stuff"? Well boys and girls Tuesday was the day for the office pot luck, all hands let's call this a lunch meeting so we can bill the time holiday thing. I said I would bring ice, since it had been in my freezer since the hurricane washed away my beach weekend...yes August. So I had it - I didn't have to cook it - and it came in a handy carrying bag. Plus now I have some room in my freezer - some - not much. Thankfully when I got into work, pulled the first load up I got a cart and several pairs of willing hands I managed to get the rest of this stuff from my family truckster into the office without trauma, breakage or major ice melt-age. Not bad. I was a big hit with the gingerbread houses, and it makes all the work pay off... lots and lots of nice compliments - it's all good... Tuesday's lunch coma hit about 2:30. Due to arrival time I worked late - OH - MY - GOODNESS have I gotten spoiled with the carpool - took forever to get home, Bubba called in a pizza order that I picked up. Of course while pulling into Pizza place he calls to yell at me about not returning a phone call in a timely manner but per his usual mantra grumped about my having enough time for "lodge crap" -- now when I pressed him about said Lodge Crap - and my meeting was Monday and what did that have to do with anything I just forgot to get back to her - see previous list of list statements... Oh yeah not to mention ordering flowers for HIS co-workers in GA and getting gift cards for his friend's kids in CA! But it's all the lodge crap I do that makes me forget a phone call....
ANY way - grumbled over that - picked up pizza, got home, ate, then wrote out Christmas cards, made Bubba help me he applies stamps and licks the envelops closed. Hey two less things I have to do - plus I quit signing our cards like Bubba - everyone gets my penmanship - even his mother. I know those of you who got cards from us previously may now be shattered that I have signed them all but - every woman reading this already knew that -- if there is a man out there reading this - he probably doesn't get half of what I whine about anyway...
SO -- moving on. Where was I? Oh yes Tuesday night - cards done, put into my bag to be dropped off by --who else? ME and away we go. To bed I go as I am finally getting to carpool again but that also means up by 4:30 to get myself presentable and awake enough to form a full sentence like "good morning". But Wednesday morning - our hero Aunt Ing rolls over looks at her clock and sees.... 5:22!!! UGH!!! The chubby chick can MOVE when she has to - in shower, washed hair and out in record time - a foot nudge to the hound dog still sleeping and me, the dogs and everything else rushed downstairs, dressed, fed dogs, hair make up and a skirt even and out the door I ran - thinking I would have to defrost and scrap the windshield - only didn't have to so... enjoyed that extra budgeted 3 minutes sitting in the parking lot wondering if I had indeed put on undergarments and quickly doubled checked that the bra was indeed, in place and fastened. Amazingly we were all good.
Wednesday work day mostly quiet, meetings, lunch out in which my government manager paid! Then to meeting at another building where I had to park in the next county over then trot in as I was running late - of course took time to pee - because I am the gal of the tiny bladder. I made the meeting within 4 minutes so not too bad - but my co-worker post meeting mentioned my huffing when I got in -- dude I'm a chubby chick in a hurry - there is going to be some blowing.
Wednesday ride home better than Tuesday's. And then I enjoyed my monthly massage, Bubba didn't want to wait for me to get home, so it was left overs night at the Casa-d-Bubba and that made Aunt Ing very happy. she was also very mellow upon her arrival home, rubbed by a professional in all the right places.
Tonight I'm meeting with my mentor for dinner and Bubba has a friend coming over to enjoy a hockey game on the TV. They are picking up dinner - so the pups will have a new friend to make tonight. And my commute home will be groovy as it will be post 8:00 PM.
My office mate also took me to a VERY nice lunch out today - I had duck, in a very nice salad with nuts and blue cheese and we shared a couple of desserts that were seriously yummy. I really really have to do something nice for him - yeah he got a gingerbread house, and egg nog, and I did get his grand daughter a Halloween goodie thing... I'll bring him more nog.
Friday promises to be not so quiet, meeting in the morning, minutes, stuff to clean up, possible government shut down to deal with and all those issues - which means my vacation could start Monday instead of Wednesday... we'll see - and then a doctor's appointment to see what the creeping crud is on my right hand and elbow that makes me look like I've got some kind of - well creeping crud.
All right - off to find the bottom of my desk, re-do my to do list and find directions to the restaurant I picked for dinner tonight with my mentor. I'll sleep when I'm dead.
On a final total chick note - those pajama things they are advertising as some great gift - with a hood and footies - Men (or man reading this blog) Just say no. What woman wants a onesie for a gift - and a leopard print with a tail?? No no NO. I don't care if it comes in a pretty box, and smelly stuff - that doesn't make up for that bit of Pj's foolishness... if you're that desperate for a gift - chocolate and flowers or something shiny--- BLING boys is always a a big hit.
Off of sand box.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
A delicate matter...
I want to discuss a matter - a delicate matter not usually mentioned here or in any other semi-G rated (ok -- PG-13) rated blogs. The topic today is - well "digestive air distress" (DAD for short) or also known more commonly as the fart. Now I'm not going to get graphic here I just want to put out this situation which has pestered me.
First let's examine a few things, the average kid say elementary school age - farts are funny. See a smart phone game called Fish Farts for little kids (and grown ups) where fish swim by and when you press on them they make all sorts of farting noises -- funny. I don't care who you are.
Next we have doggie farts in my world these can be the SBD's (silent but deadly), can be loud and lengthy or they can get you out of bed at 4:30 AM to deal with the sister of digestive air distress - known as simply digestive distress or -- poop. The first two funny -- last one not so much. But it is part of the entire dog ownership experience and frankly I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. (dog ownership yes the other no)
Finally there are men - who from, I frankly think, birth until death think farts are funny, they embrace their own air distress with a child like glee that few women --- well get at all. There is the ever popular pull my finger game, the barking tree frog and innumerous variations of that bit of silliness.
Now we women suffer through all the various permutations of the air distress and we have our own coping methods. We love the dogs and kick them outside, the husbands, fathers etc we either send to another room or do the vacating ourselves. We do however, also on occasion suffer with our own digestive air distress. I know - we don't talk about it, name it or celebrate it generally but yes boys and girls it does happen. I am also led to understand this occurs frequently with pregnant women - but well - just never mind that.
ANY way that being said and with all this build up I am getting to my story - (finally!). Oh hush. Last night darling Bubba arrives home and the early hour of 8:15 PM. It is raining cats, dogs and a few dozen other barnyard animals last night, and sin of sin I didn't get the mail. Sue me I had to pee - and when that was done I didn't want to go back out into the yuck - again sue me... and I'm getting off topic.
OK so he's already in a mood, now he is actually going to lodge tomorrow night, he is upstairs digging out his stuff, and he needs from me a check and some canned food to donate. His proclamation, "pull out what we don't eat." To which I replied I have done that already the cabinets have foods we do eat because I no longer let you clip coupons for stupid crap neither one of us will eat. Remind me later to tell you about the butter that didn't melt story....
Now - he's got the check, and I go upstairs to help him dig through my pantry, and yes, let a little digestive air distress go. NO! It wasn't awful like a doggie one after 4 days with Nana - it was noise. The reaction from my husband was unreal, frankly you would have thought I had digestive distress without the "air" right there in the kitchen! THIS from a man who will stand in his beloved tighty-whities and tell me "the ducky loves me that is why he is so noisy" and various other inane quips in regards to his ON DEMAND digestive air distress. And he freaks out about one minor - pass!!! SERIOUSLY???
We've been married for 22 years - for crying out loud for us planting fertilized eggs into my (now gone) baby machine was a GROUP activity and you get all pissy about one little fart? Boys and girls marriage is not pretty you see the person you married at their lowest sick, crabby you name it... and when things get that ugly my husband is usually in another room or out of the house - but--- its there.
Will someone please explain to me that male reaction of digestive air distress when at ANY other time it's the funniest thing he's seen all day? And if I have to hold it in - well good thing we have three bathrooms no waiting. Or I'll just pull a man and blame the dog.
I think that is enough for today don't you?
First let's examine a few things, the average kid say elementary school age - farts are funny. See a smart phone game called Fish Farts for little kids (and grown ups) where fish swim by and when you press on them they make all sorts of farting noises -- funny. I don't care who you are.
Next we have doggie farts in my world these can be the SBD's (silent but deadly), can be loud and lengthy or they can get you out of bed at 4:30 AM to deal with the sister of digestive air distress - known as simply digestive distress or -- poop. The first two funny -- last one not so much. But it is part of the entire dog ownership experience and frankly I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. (dog ownership yes the other no)
Finally there are men - who from, I frankly think, birth until death think farts are funny, they embrace their own air distress with a child like glee that few women --- well get at all. There is the ever popular pull my finger game, the barking tree frog and innumerous variations of that bit of silliness.
Now we women suffer through all the various permutations of the air distress and we have our own coping methods. We love the dogs and kick them outside, the husbands, fathers etc we either send to another room or do the vacating ourselves. We do however, also on occasion suffer with our own digestive air distress. I know - we don't talk about it, name it or celebrate it generally but yes boys and girls it does happen. I am also led to understand this occurs frequently with pregnant women - but well - just never mind that.
ANY way that being said and with all this build up I am getting to my story - (finally!). Oh hush. Last night darling Bubba arrives home and the early hour of 8:15 PM. It is raining cats, dogs and a few dozen other barnyard animals last night, and sin of sin I didn't get the mail. Sue me I had to pee - and when that was done I didn't want to go back out into the yuck - again sue me... and I'm getting off topic.
OK so he's already in a mood, now he is actually going to lodge tomorrow night, he is upstairs digging out his stuff, and he needs from me a check and some canned food to donate. His proclamation, "pull out what we don't eat." To which I replied I have done that already the cabinets have foods we do eat because I no longer let you clip coupons for stupid crap neither one of us will eat. Remind me later to tell you about the butter that didn't melt story....
Now - he's got the check, and I go upstairs to help him dig through my pantry, and yes, let a little digestive air distress go. NO! It wasn't awful like a doggie one after 4 days with Nana - it was noise. The reaction from my husband was unreal, frankly you would have thought I had digestive distress without the "air" right there in the kitchen! THIS from a man who will stand in his beloved tighty-whities and tell me "the ducky loves me that is why he is so noisy" and various other inane quips in regards to his ON DEMAND digestive air distress. And he freaks out about one minor - pass!!! SERIOUSLY???
We've been married for 22 years - for crying out loud for us planting fertilized eggs into my (now gone) baby machine was a GROUP activity and you get all pissy about one little fart? Boys and girls marriage is not pretty you see the person you married at their lowest sick, crabby you name it... and when things get that ugly my husband is usually in another room or out of the house - but--- its there.
Will someone please explain to me that male reaction of digestive air distress when at ANY other time it's the funniest thing he's seen all day? And if I have to hold it in - well good thing we have three bathrooms no waiting. Or I'll just pull a man and blame the dog.
I think that is enough for today don't you?
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Am I done yet??!??
Here I sit Sunday night, my long list of @#$% to get done has a number of items crossed off and yet I am still not done. I can happily report my Christmas tree is up, with lights, and ornaments. And if I do say so myself it looks darn nice. The house is like wise all dolled up for Christmas and yesterday (Saturday) afternoon as I was dancing about the house to the holiday favs via Satellite TV there was general happiness. Bubba was actually helpful, hauled up tree, helped with lights and even managed to fix a couple of broken tree hangings... ah.
And that is as far as I got, as darling Bubba needed something or the dinner buzzer went off and the rest of my Sunday was spent eating or sleeping. I needed to come to work; I need the rest. Some thoughts on my weekend, first I was very efficient and organized, not only did I have my master list from earlier this week, I compiled a second list with more immediate details to make sure I got all this crap done! And in a fit of complete nerd-dom I set my oven timer to make sure I stopped with the Christmas decorating issues to give myself enough time to shower, dress, primp and get out the door to dinner with Deborah and Bubba. And yes, he tagged along - to dinner, which was fine, he did get all turned around when he didn't follow me the back way and got all semi-cranky, then he parked in the busy section of the parking lot where Deborah and I know the double secret garage location that everyone else forgets about.. ah well.
Anyway-- dinner was enjoyed by all,we had plenty of left overs and thankfully Bubba took mine home, and Deborah and I made our way to the Strafford Music Hall in Maryland - oh my was it nice, and parking and walking - covered walk way - so so very nice. I must say hearing The Messiah done my professionals sure beats the snot out of my fuzzy memories of high school choir.
I could just gush on and on but I won't... but I must stay it was certainly "cul-ture". (Joke from a friend of Deborah's when she attempted to explain where she was going Saturday night the response from (male obviously) friend was "AH -- Cul-ture") Very funny.
A lovely evening, wrapped up and headed home by 11:30.
Now when I got home Bubba tells me that his least favorite person from my Girl's group has called and she would be up until 11:00 PM waiting for my return. I arrived home at 11:40 -- no way I was calling her at 20 minutes to midnight! I know it's regarding rides to the Girl's group event on Sunday - not critically life threatening - so I went to bed..after a bit. She called the house 9 AM and of course woke Bubba. I was awake. Why was I awake I have NO flipping idea. At 6:30 in the morning I woke up, bladder full as usual tried to crawl back into bed but just laid there waiting for the sleepy to come back. I might as well have waited for Bubba to roll over sit up in bed and tell me he'd never question another dime I spent. Prepare for the second coming boys and girls if I every post that bit of news....
So I opened my reading light, pissed off the husband who - well timed as usual - managed to roll over just in time to get blinded by the light - and no he didn't start singing the song - and what exactly is that singer wrapped in anyway?? Never could figure that one out.
I digress... read a bit, attempted to go back to sleep - bagged that idea, so finally got moving an hour later. Me, dogs and life tended, then finished the tree, packed up that mess, made breakfast as my time was running short, got myself dressed for the annual Girls' group trip to sing to old people. Like their lives weren't tough enough. Although I must say they seemed to enjoy it, we give out little gifties, then sit through a church service. Now someone PLEASE explain to me why oh why must we sing every verse of every song in the service? AND why does the man playing the piano have no idea how fast or slow a song should be played? Here is a clue skippy - when the people singing the song are 3 WORDS ahead of where you are in the music - pick up the beat. Cripes - and yes through all FOUR versus of every song we sung. No wonder I always need over the counter medications with this trip - I always think it's the kids. - well... no won't go there.
So - got home from that adventure my feet are killing me, I am happily out of the dress and stupidly promised Bubba a cooked meal - a labor intensive cooked meal... FINE. He did go grocery shopping to two different stores to get the enchilada sauce he liked - so I could stand on my feet for another hour and get things tended. Which I did. Dinner was enjoyed - and I went to bed, well after I fell asleep. Perhaps I should stay sitting up on the couch - I seem to fall asleep there better than any place else. but I would freeze things off in the night and it would confuse the pups. Must do the right thing for the children - four legged or not.
Now Monday - ah Monday. Peaceful, quiet - TOO early. Up at now the usual time of 4:30 AM -- and again who the @#$% knew this hour of the day existed for human beings. Well frankly it doesn't because if some poor slob were to ask me a question at that hour of the day my answer would be some mumbling incoherent mess of heaven knows what and with my luck I'd end up in some re-education camp for wayward lesbian Christians who want unicorn farts to power their monster truck. And didn't that take a very strange turn to the left? Let's back away slowly shall we?
Ahem. Well this week promises to keep me busy work wise and other - wise. Once again we have our weekly list which was desperately trying to break down to into smaller doable nightly lists which then got added back on to the lists for the remainder of the week - which now is on the back and front of the sheet of paper and - oh screw it. I'll get things done like I always do - at the last freaking minute with Bubba screaming about something else entirely while I frantically try to be all things to all people and forget something important like wrapping Christmas presents or something. Never mind.
So now it is raining, it has rained all day but I shall not complain too much because frankly boys and girls - you don't have to shovel rain. It falls, it rolls way and only leaves its presence felt on dogs, muddy paws and frizzy hair. I shall prevail. And I shall be dead to the world asleep when it happens - someone email me with that will you?
And that is as far as I got, as darling Bubba needed something or the dinner buzzer went off and the rest of my Sunday was spent eating or sleeping. I needed to come to work; I need the rest. Some thoughts on my weekend, first I was very efficient and organized, not only did I have my master list from earlier this week, I compiled a second list with more immediate details to make sure I got all this crap done! And in a fit of complete nerd-dom I set my oven timer to make sure I stopped with the Christmas decorating issues to give myself enough time to shower, dress, primp and get out the door to dinner with Deborah and Bubba. And yes, he tagged along - to dinner, which was fine, he did get all turned around when he didn't follow me the back way and got all semi-cranky, then he parked in the busy section of the parking lot where Deborah and I know the double secret garage location that everyone else forgets about.. ah well.
Anyway-- dinner was enjoyed by all,we had plenty of left overs and thankfully Bubba took mine home, and Deborah and I made our way to the Strafford Music Hall in Maryland - oh my was it nice, and parking and walking - covered walk way - so so very nice. I must say hearing The Messiah done my professionals sure beats the snot out of my fuzzy memories of high school choir.
I could just gush on and on but I won't... but I must stay it was certainly "cul-ture". (Joke from a friend of Deborah's when she attempted to explain where she was going Saturday night the response from (male obviously) friend was "AH -- Cul-ture") Very funny.
A lovely evening, wrapped up and headed home by 11:30.
Now when I got home Bubba tells me that his least favorite person from my Girl's group has called and she would be up until 11:00 PM waiting for my return. I arrived home at 11:40 -- no way I was calling her at 20 minutes to midnight! I know it's regarding rides to the Girl's group event on Sunday - not critically life threatening - so I went to bed..after a bit. She called the house 9 AM and of course woke Bubba. I was awake. Why was I awake I have NO flipping idea. At 6:30 in the morning I woke up, bladder full as usual tried to crawl back into bed but just laid there waiting for the sleepy to come back. I might as well have waited for Bubba to roll over sit up in bed and tell me he'd never question another dime I spent. Prepare for the second coming boys and girls if I every post that bit of news....
So I opened my reading light, pissed off the husband who - well timed as usual - managed to roll over just in time to get blinded by the light - and no he didn't start singing the song - and what exactly is that singer wrapped in anyway?? Never could figure that one out.
I digress... read a bit, attempted to go back to sleep - bagged that idea, so finally got moving an hour later. Me, dogs and life tended, then finished the tree, packed up that mess, made breakfast as my time was running short, got myself dressed for the annual Girls' group trip to sing to old people. Like their lives weren't tough enough. Although I must say they seemed to enjoy it, we give out little gifties, then sit through a church service. Now someone PLEASE explain to me why oh why must we sing every verse of every song in the service? AND why does the man playing the piano have no idea how fast or slow a song should be played? Here is a clue skippy - when the people singing the song are 3 WORDS ahead of where you are in the music - pick up the beat. Cripes - and yes through all FOUR versus of every song we sung. No wonder I always need over the counter medications with this trip - I always think it's the kids. - well... no won't go there.
So - got home from that adventure my feet are killing me, I am happily out of the dress and stupidly promised Bubba a cooked meal - a labor intensive cooked meal... FINE. He did go grocery shopping to two different stores to get the enchilada sauce he liked - so I could stand on my feet for another hour and get things tended. Which I did. Dinner was enjoyed - and I went to bed, well after I fell asleep. Perhaps I should stay sitting up on the couch - I seem to fall asleep there better than any place else. but I would freeze things off in the night and it would confuse the pups. Must do the right thing for the children - four legged or not.
Now Monday - ah Monday. Peaceful, quiet - TOO early. Up at now the usual time of 4:30 AM -- and again who the @#$% knew this hour of the day existed for human beings. Well frankly it doesn't because if some poor slob were to ask me a question at that hour of the day my answer would be some mumbling incoherent mess of heaven knows what and with my luck I'd end up in some re-education camp for wayward lesbian Christians who want unicorn farts to power their monster truck. And didn't that take a very strange turn to the left? Let's back away slowly shall we?
Ahem. Well this week promises to keep me busy work wise and other - wise. Once again we have our weekly list which was desperately trying to break down to into smaller doable nightly lists which then got added back on to the lists for the remainder of the week - which now is on the back and front of the sheet of paper and - oh screw it. I'll get things done like I always do - at the last freaking minute with Bubba screaming about something else entirely while I frantically try to be all things to all people and forget something important like wrapping Christmas presents or something. Never mind.
So now it is raining, it has rained all day but I shall not complain too much because frankly boys and girls - you don't have to shovel rain. It falls, it rolls way and only leaves its presence felt on dogs, muddy paws and frizzy hair. I shall prevail. And I shall be dead to the world asleep when it happens - someone email me with that will you?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Ah Friday...(and early Saturday)
And the very long laundry list of stuff I have to do this weekend, not to mention next work week looks busier than I've been in weeks, and well toss in Major Crankypants for (insert reason for here) and don't we have a party?
Good thing this is a semi-short Friday, but I do have Miss Violet going in for minor surgery today, and a teeth cleaning. He's got his work cut out with the teeth. I really have to work out a routine to get that done daily - and another thing to do on my daily list of #$% I have to do today. I started the week so efficiently, desk at work clean, organized and ready, Mentor paperwork organized and put together, Girl's group paperwork organized and put home - to be filed yet... a big long list of stuff I had to do tried to make nightly which I got done Monday... and have pretty much had minor chips at the list for the rest of the week... well - now I my defense. I did get the Wal-Mart run done, I got birthday cards and such tended for the December birthdays, and other minor things tended, I have created meals, unloaded and reloaded dishwasher, finished laundry and scheduled much dreaded doctor appointments. After all that I still have a nice long list of stuff I need to finish. Looking at my calendar all my baking and egg nog making will have to be done next weekend, this one is booked, with fun and required actions. And the one after that, also double booked, on Sunday with two parties - and frankly I think we're heading to VA. Add to list need to RSVP that one...
And here I am now Saturday morning - Bubba the "quiet" sleeper still rattling the rafters - I made him roll over at 5:30 this morning as that was the point he decided it was fun to share a pillow and begin the bass drum quartet in my ear... needless to say that alarm clock was silenced in quick order.
Now thankfully much later, the girls and I are up, they are fed, and Violet has come through her surgery just fine, thankfully unlike Shelby her ear covers most of the evidence and she doesn't look like Franken-dog. In fact the old girl is looking mighty perky for post surgery - and hungry. Go figure.
Saturday is looking to be a busy day, I've got house stuff to deal with and I'm going to put up our tree this year... some years we don't but for some reason I want to this year... yeah it's more work and stuff but hey what else have I got to do? (insert long laundry list here) BFD. I'll make it work I always do. My reward for all this today and the Christmas Caroling with the girls group tomorrow is tonight me and my friend Deborah are going to see Handle's Messiah done by the Baltimore Symphony and Choir - I can't wait. I know that sounds all high brow and very un-yinzer of me but I sang the darn piece of music in high school and frankly when I hear pieces on the radio at this time of year I enjoy it. Besides man cannot live on football and hockey alone -- well he can if his name is Bubba but I need more... sue me.
A small rant to go with this whining this morning and yesterday (when I started this post) the monthly grumble of the credit card bill - it came in the mail last night - I looked through it to make sure there would be no surprises for darling Bubba because I know that he takes this bill looks at every line of the bill and then proceeds to #itch for the better part of an hour about the amount of money I spend. Now this month is extra special because it has our trip to Lancaster PA on it and all the fun Christmas shopping we did, and our trip home to PA for Thanksgiving and then general day to day life gas, food, vet visits etc. Again and again he grumps at the total amount and how can I spend that much in one month and bla bla de bla bla bla.... whatever. Take out Lancaster and Thanksgiving and it's basically food, gas and few extras (hair nails) from the extravagant stores like Target and Wal-Mart. Period - that's it. I'm not at Lord and Taylor's every night after work buying tomorrow's outfit!! Seriously?!?
Bubba life is hard enough, you get up (WAY to freaking early these days) you work hard but you also want to enjoy the fruits of your labors... grumble grumble grumble... oh and Nana all your Mina and Ha,Ha stories fall on deaf ears - I hope you realize that... but I enjoy the living devil out of them. Perhaps there will come a day when Bubba calls my sister and says, "Um hey, can you talk to her she's gone insane."
I foresee sister's reply of "about #$^ time."
Enjoy your Saturday - perhaps if I have time Sunday late we'll chat again.
Good thing this is a semi-short Friday, but I do have Miss Violet going in for minor surgery today, and a teeth cleaning. He's got his work cut out with the teeth. I really have to work out a routine to get that done daily - and another thing to do on my daily list of #$% I have to do today. I started the week so efficiently, desk at work clean, organized and ready, Mentor paperwork organized and put together, Girl's group paperwork organized and put home - to be filed yet... a big long list of stuff I had to do tried to make nightly which I got done Monday... and have pretty much had minor chips at the list for the rest of the week... well - now I my defense. I did get the Wal-Mart run done, I got birthday cards and such tended for the December birthdays, and other minor things tended, I have created meals, unloaded and reloaded dishwasher, finished laundry and scheduled much dreaded doctor appointments. After all that I still have a nice long list of stuff I need to finish. Looking at my calendar all my baking and egg nog making will have to be done next weekend, this one is booked, with fun and required actions. And the one after that, also double booked, on Sunday with two parties - and frankly I think we're heading to VA. Add to list need to RSVP that one...
And here I am now Saturday morning - Bubba the "quiet" sleeper still rattling the rafters - I made him roll over at 5:30 this morning as that was the point he decided it was fun to share a pillow and begin the bass drum quartet in my ear... needless to say that alarm clock was silenced in quick order.
Now thankfully much later, the girls and I are up, they are fed, and Violet has come through her surgery just fine, thankfully unlike Shelby her ear covers most of the evidence and she doesn't look like Franken-dog. In fact the old girl is looking mighty perky for post surgery - and hungry. Go figure.
Saturday is looking to be a busy day, I've got house stuff to deal with and I'm going to put up our tree this year... some years we don't but for some reason I want to this year... yeah it's more work and stuff but hey what else have I got to do? (insert long laundry list here) BFD. I'll make it work I always do. My reward for all this today and the Christmas Caroling with the girls group tomorrow is tonight me and my friend Deborah are going to see Handle's Messiah done by the Baltimore Symphony and Choir - I can't wait. I know that sounds all high brow and very un-yinzer of me but I sang the darn piece of music in high school and frankly when I hear pieces on the radio at this time of year I enjoy it. Besides man cannot live on football and hockey alone -- well he can if his name is Bubba but I need more... sue me.
A small rant to go with this whining this morning and yesterday (when I started this post) the monthly grumble of the credit card bill - it came in the mail last night - I looked through it to make sure there would be no surprises for darling Bubba because I know that he takes this bill looks at every line of the bill and then proceeds to #itch for the better part of an hour about the amount of money I spend. Now this month is extra special because it has our trip to Lancaster PA on it and all the fun Christmas shopping we did, and our trip home to PA for Thanksgiving and then general day to day life gas, food, vet visits etc. Again and again he grumps at the total amount and how can I spend that much in one month and bla bla de bla bla bla.... whatever. Take out Lancaster and Thanksgiving and it's basically food, gas and few extras (hair nails) from the extravagant stores like Target and Wal-Mart. Period - that's it. I'm not at Lord and Taylor's every night after work buying tomorrow's outfit!! Seriously?!?
Bubba life is hard enough, you get up (WAY to freaking early these days) you work hard but you also want to enjoy the fruits of your labors... grumble grumble grumble... oh and Nana all your Mina and Ha,Ha stories fall on deaf ears - I hope you realize that... but I enjoy the living devil out of them. Perhaps there will come a day when Bubba calls my sister and says, "Um hey, can you talk to her she's gone insane."
I foresee sister's reply of "about #$^ time."
Enjoy your Saturday - perhaps if I have time Sunday late we'll chat again.
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