I interfaced with HAL last night and for those of you not old enough to remember HAL (which is NO one reading this mess) I could say I was wired into the matrix last night. Why do you ask? Seriously why? Oh all right I'll tell you... As part of the chubby girl surgery I'm having in June; one of the requirements was to have a Sleep Study to see if I had Sleep Apnea where you quit breathing in the night. Now my car pool buddy had the same thing done, and he said all sorts of things along the lines of you won't sleep, it's like the poly graph test (and yes I've taken one of those) needless to say the old boy had me a bit wigged. But I figured I was going to sleep - yes in a strange bed wired up and watched... yick.
And of course yesterday was a regular work day so up early, work all day came home, did dinner, (spinach salads with turkey bacon - yum!) and as I was preparing to leave the house at 9:00 PM in the evening I got a bit cranky at my husband who called - because yes he was still at work and wasn't home yet... so we grumbled past each other I let the dogs out - confused the heck out of them by locking them back up in their crates.
So I get where I'm going, I drive around looking for the entrance, find it finally park under the street light because it is 9:20 the place is dead and I am weird like that. I am greeted at the door, shown to what looked like an odd shaped hotel room, nice sized bathroom. She turns on the TV - I find a movie pull out the PJ's and the kindle. An hour later she manages to come back in get me all wired up and of course in the middle of all this - my cell phone goes off.... we know it's Bubba because of the ring tone. So post wired up, I call him back we chat, he asks about the salad I left behind for him and he asks about putting the bacon on it - apparently it was confusing... don't try it will just make your head hurt.... I kept the bacon separate at the time as it was still warm... not so much when Bubba the wonder accountant got home. But he managed to figure that part out all on his own by the time I called him back. We did have a discussion regarding salad dressings - as in which one he should use. Um - pumpkin use what you like, I like the Honey Mustard on my spinach salads so that is what I bought if you want Italian go for it. The Salad police don't care after 8 PM. Really.
So chat chat, night night, I crawl under the covers grateful the room was nice and cool, read the kindle for a bit and doze off to sleep - and amazingly I didn't dream about HAL sealing me out, or the Matrix men trying to kill me or me dodging bullets with feats of movie magic. I just slept. For about 90 minutes then the tiny bladder kicked in, hit the button, please un-tether me from the large glowing box in the drawer here so I can pee? Please? Two wires unplugged later and in I go with a small box holding all the wires stuck to me... and I'll get to the stuck part in a minute. Heed nature's call, and get reattached, and fall back asleep.
Next thing I know it's 5:30 AM and there is a voice telling me to get up, she's coming to unwire me. Well little nursey-poo didn't move fast enough and never show a geek how to unplug something because that is what I did - unplugged and emptied out again. It took much less time to undo me than to wire me into the Matrix. Which then dis-spells the myth of the movie that its harder to get out of the matrix than in. And I've just wandered into oober geek territory.
So HAL has released me from his tentacles, I brush my teeth discover the goo that held on the probes to my head, get all grossed out, put my hair up in a pony tail, get dressed and head home - to sleep for at least another hour as 4 hours of interrupted sleep is so not my idea of a good time. It was interesting to drive the opposite direction you usually go at the same time of day (6 AM) I got home, let the dogs out told Shelby it was NOT time to eat and crawled into bed, an hour later Bubba's alarm went off, a few snooze bar hits later, he's up, tells the pups to stay put, and 45 minutes after a half mumbled conversation with the hubster Shelby delivers her ultimatum- breakfast now lady or the carpet and the exposed skin gets it.
So, up and moving, got Violet up and moving, let them out, fed them, back upstairs to shower away the glop in my hair, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, feel for goopy, lather, rinse, repeat, add conditioner and all done! Got dressed, let the girls out while I did hair and makeup because it was SUCH lovely morning... made my lunch, got that together, gave the girls their drugs and made my way into work.... where I have been doing well sleepy wise until post lunch.... Aunt Ing is ready for a nap. However, she is meeting with her mentor tonight so perky and happy will have to faked - because it comes so naturally to me anyway... (NOT).
I won't get into company discussion as there isn't that much interesting to discuss - so maybe after tonight there will be. Not counting on it.
Also not ordering wine with dinner - it wouldn't be good form to fall asleep in your spaghetti in front of your mentor. Not to mention the drive home on the beltway after 8 PM.
Tomorrow is another day full of fun and doctor visits, we have the Mental Health Doctor in the afternoon, followed by practice for the Lady Shriners - which is a trip down town... then up early Saturday to the Dietitian, then window estimates from 2 companies - then dress and get out of Germantown early to avoid Marathon people as I must go back down town DC for the actual meeting then home... and probably to bed. At 5 PM.
I will see the lump in the bed know as Bubba some time Sunday. That way we keep our record of only seeing one another 2-3 days per week max - that whole absence makes the heart grow - whatever. It's sole possession of the TV remote that matters most boys and girls... get that one in the pre-nup girls. Trust your Aunt Ing on this...
All right I have hit the wall so time to sign off and pretend to work. Chat at you all later.
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