Wednesday, April 18, 2012

5:30 AM is not the time...

For anything - most especially to pick a fight with one's spousal unit.   Now as I have documented here time and time again this early morning crap-ola is not my 'happy' time of day.   We are now tossing in Bubba-in-the-way and Mr. Not Helpful in any manner whatsoever.... this coupled with the fact that he can't see more than 6 inches in front of his face - caused the issue this very morning.

I am in the shower I am trying to wake up enough to remember if indeed I have met soap with water in all necessary body parts... I have turned off the water look down and saw shave gel still one leg - see hour of the day.  ANY way.... darling Bubba comes into the bathroom, doing his thing I finish my morning routine,dry off, open the door and see - only one dog - the black one dancing about - when you don't see the brown dog early in the AM this is not good news - groovy - so I quickly dry off and run downstairs just in time to see Miss Violet leaving a deposit on the carpet - the wet smelly kind.   Oh joy.

Now needless to say at this point I am a bit put out - with steam coming out of my ears.  I get both dogs outside, I clean up the mess, clean the carpet so it doesn't stink or stain - wash my hands, let the dogs in, feed them, all still in my pj's with wet hair.   And I have now moved from put-out to mostly peeved - with more steam (I could make espresso at this point).   So in a fit of being on time to meet carpool and NOT in my pj's I dry my hair while pups ate breakfast, then when everyone was done I head upstairs as darling "my world is a freaking oyster" comes jogging downstairs all fat and happy.   Remembering carpool and what a mess blood makes on light colored carpets Bubba managed to live for another day.   But I hit him with "you need to find a 7 AM class" when he says why I tell him - didn't pay attention, dog mess - look around - you're in the way...

And somehow through all this - it still came out my fault... I didn't let them out.  WTH?  Excuse me?  When it was just me and the girls in the early AM they stayed in their beds until I was done with the shower I then gathered up my stuff - went downstairs as not to disturb your beauty sleep - let them out, fed them tended to myself, got their pills in them and made it out the door in time to catch car pool.   Oh and should I add there was NEVER an accident?  Like not once?   Now with Bubba they are left right and center.

And yet - because I didn't let them out before I got into the shower (which I never do) and it's "my" dog... this is all my fault.   Insert forehead into palm and slap repeatedly.  As I was now running behind - I didn't have time or the inclination to again remind my darling self-centered self-indulgent pain in the --- husband that the ONLY  reason we have 2 dogs is because he opened his yap. 

When the time comes when we lose both of our darling girls - Aunt Ing is done like dinner.   Unless Darling Butthead makes the effort to actually - deal with said dog - regularly - like daily... Aunt Ing ain't playing.   Yes I will miss that bit of fun - but frankly enough.  Plus we both work all day it's not fair to a pup to leave them home all day alone and when there is an issue its my responsibility, fault and job to tend to everything else.

I am looking at major life changes in 57 days, before that,  with every new doctor visit I am reminded of those changes and working in time to do something physical besides restraining the urge to murder the man I married needs to be worked in.   Oh but when??  Yes Yes there is lodge stuff - but most of my home time is errands, kitchen, laundry and these are all just lame excuses... I hate days that start like this ....

Bubba is going to have to start pulling his weight - we'll start small as to not shock his system, how about the pick and drop off laundry service? Yes dear  you can do that one - it even has a drive through - very nice.  Then we can move on to remedial dish washer loading... did I mention the cup yesterday morning?

Yes, again, the mysterious cup in a clean sink has re-appeared.  Is ANYONE surprised at this point?  You know I know geeks - we need to rig up some kind of alarm that I can switch on when the sink is clean - when he puts a cup in there it will go off with a warning - "Put that stupid cup in the dishwasher - butthead"  and if that doesn't work we'll look into shock therapy.   What?  don't judge.

All right signing off from cranky central - anyone else up for cheesecake for lunch?  ;-)  (yeah yeah life style changes... bla bla)

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