Tick......Tock.......

When I needed more time it ran like Shelby after the last cookie tied to a racing critter... today when things are done, you're in clean up mode... time is moving like Violet on a cold day and she's got all the blankets...

But I'm down to less than an hour left in this day, back to the hotel, pack, relax mellow out and then up early - early flight - early home - massage in the afternoon and probably sound asleep on the couch before Bubba gets home from work. I am going to work into the office on Thursday - and working from home on Friday - traffic will be a nightmare home Friday before a major holiday weekend so no freaking way am I going to Northern Va!!

I am sure when folks return from vacation they will discover something we forgot or missed in this day of final note taking and clean up so we'll clean it up and move on with our days...

Of course I can tell Bubba is getting cranky - I've been gone long enough, he called about making sure I pay bills when I get home, and other such details that just gets handled without him having to tell me to do it... we'll see what the house looks like when I get home. Although he did say he "picked up" when his father came to visit for the weekend... and he said the threw away my books... right. I so don't think so.

I am SURE there will be choice words when I get home because - well its been a month since he's had the opportunity to whine at me face to face ... oh goodie. He's already said he's bought a new hedge trimmer so guess what we get to do this holiday weekend... double goodie.

Tick tock... still not time to go "home".

I am in desperate need of a manicure... lost another pinkie nail, another one has flakes and is weak and a source of worry that it will snap during the trip home... we'll see. Creeping, slowly... I've printed my boarding pass...

I guess I'm going to have to make a dinner tomorrow night... how about a salad? Actually I'd like to make casserole - not sure if I want to make chicken or beef - neither is good for you.. but they are easy. We'll see what mood strikes me when I get home. Right now all I want is these contacts out and some personal space and my feet up...

My time sheet started Saturday as of today - I've got a full week of hours (40) in... but on the up side I get paid for the OT so I'll work part of tomorrow, Thursday and Friday... plus there is that clean up thing we need to make sure it done...

I have to remember to call the parental units when I get back to DC so they know I'm home out of the tin can and in one piece...

That is all for today - my brain has gotten up and left home without me...

Working Sundays...

Don't suck as bad... but still aren't great. On the upside we got out of the office before the sun went down a first this week... So what do I do? Go back back to my hotel and get back on the computer - but this is fun... or at least keeping crazy at bay. ;-)

Also came back to find the hotel fridge in my room was set to sub-zero... so I have diet coke slushy... fun. But cold... and that's a good thing because the outside temp is still hovering somewhere around surface of the sun...

Now tomorrow - I wouldn't count on a post I have this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that I've done something wrong along the way this weekend and forgot all about something vital and we'll be working until 2 AM because I'm an dork... after all we only put in an 8 hour day... versus the 11 and 12 of the past 4 days... OR in a parallel universe things could actually go that well we get the answers we need and are able to clean things up with relative ease and again Monday night might see sun... not counting on it but remaining hopefully cautious.

Don't know if I mentioned yesterday made a late night Wal-Mart run - me and 300 of my closest friends... picked up a few personal items, legs needed to visit a razor, and a little snack food and a new book... yeah I know but hey I finished the one I brought with me and I can't get into the other paperback I brought with me. Besides an author I liked put out a new book so it was there cheaper at the Mart... on we go.

So since I have an evening to myself... I'm going to take it. Enjoy your Sunday.

Working on a Saturday during the summer...

REALLY well - excuse my french but it sucks. Here I sit in this interior office, staring at numbers and letters and wondering what the heck I did in a previous life to deserve all this?

But the only way to chew through this mountain o' crap-ola is to get at it... and we have been in addition to eating my every expanding weight in heaven only knows... I just feel fat when I travel. Yeesh. (no we won't mention Fried Pickles -had those only once with my co-worker)

On the Fun side, there is a convention of Jehovah Witnesses in my hotel - these people are entirely too talky at breakfast - I much prefer the Army men, get your breakfast your paper hush up and eat already. These people have to talk about the options, how to work the waffle machine, is this the only eggs you have - oh look toast! Yeesh - get it sit down and hush up peppy in the AM Aunt Ing so doesn't do...

And the cherry on the Sundae of my crappy Saturday? Bubba called - (you knew this was coming) Now I stupidly figured I was off the hook as his Dad came up for a visit as they are both single in the city this weekend --- but NO.. he has to call to ask me (quoting) "This envelop you left by the phone with a lab thing - what is this?"

Now keep in mind boys and girls I have 1) been gone since Tuesday 3 AM no less 2) have talked to him almost daily since then 3) have been working 10-11 hour days since I got here and he wants me to remember a single envelope I laid down last week by the phone - including contents and directions for use? SERIOUSLY.

And to really top it off he got cranky when I started asking questions - as I had no flipping clue what he was talking about... when I finally dragged a semi-close description of said SEALED envelop - I said yes mail it - that would involve getting a stamp, and placing it in an approved USPS box - they are usually blue dear. And his father was in the car as they were driving where ever while he's chewing me out about some random letter...

THEN he called again to ask me where the stamps in the house were... they are in my purse. Its called a post office moron... back at it...

Climb every mountain...

Ford every stream... I don't know why you couldn't Chevy every stream but hey I didn't write the song... (yes I realize it's spelled different... but it wouldn't be a JOKE if I spelled it right) Besides I'm too tired to go look it up...

Once again I have temporarily escaped the testing lab as there are multiple bodies in there trying to make several machines talk to each other - the don't need me for a few minutes - plus the air was getting thin. Or maybe that's just me.

We again this morning - just like yesterday morning we had a major mountain of crap to overcome then a productive afternoon and in a fit of I don't know what we left almost on time... well it was 8PM CST. Any who - we had another mountain of crap to overcome this morning but as usual it turns out it was a minor thing that is we had been able to work a regular set of hours like normal people not named Bubba we probably would have caught so much sooner.

Anyway.... we're on the down hill slide again - and in a fit of I don't know what got everything organized and ready - and they are calling me again... I can't go in there.. please someone make it stop...

Stay tuned.

Quick story...

Don't have much time I chewed through the rope tying me to the testing machines... they will be coming for me soon... here is the story...

New tester, nice gal - we're talking where you from etc... mention I'm from 'da Burgh... talk a bit of football and doesn't new girl say this to ME!

We have a former Steeler - he's a Deacon at my church I don't know if you're old enough to remember him... his name? JOHN STALLWORTH - OMG!!

When my jaw hit the floor she realized that not only did I know the name but I was a HUGE fan... she made jokes about getting him into the office... like I would just die on the spot!!! ;-)

Wrote that story to dear old Dad... haven't heard from him today so he must be off doing and going.. I can't wait to retire so I can never be home... wait... I'm never home now. Never mind.

I'm getting paid OT again so life ain't so bad. Stay tuned for more fun with testing in Hots-ville-- aka the deep south.

Did you know they deep fry dill pickles here? And what's worse - they are GOOD... I'm in so much trouble.

Later... Aunt Ing.

Check your calendars - yes it is Wednesday...

Wednesday - day 2 of my deep southern captivity the weather is still hot - very hot - and that is the feeling as I slog from the hotel to the car, crank the air, drive 6 minutes to the office, (nice I know...) then slog into the office where the current a/c temp is currently set to just above meat locker... Aunt Ing is a happy camper.

What is not making Aunt Ing a happy camper... sitting around waiting for the software guys to get their stuff together so I can spend the next 6 days trapped in this office watching series of number of letters go scrolling by to ensure things are running properly.... yeah it's an exciting life isn't it?

There is entirely too much quiet from the code jockeys end of the hallway... on the upside - good eats in the south - on the down side - good eats in the south... got the nicer hotel, yeah it's an older room but it ain't the dump with the clunky A/C... no Aunt Ing has that room set to nice and cold here too and slept like the dead last night... of course getting up at o-dark-30 didn't hurt either.

Although I will admit having two days to kind of ease back into has been kind of nice - but now I'm not sleepy and well fed and bored. On the other down side my co-worker leaves tomorrow morning and I'm alone - on the upside I will be going to the "mart" and eating in... I've got a fridge and a microwave in my room... saving me from dinner out not only alone but just in the calorie/salt/fat savings... as we all know when it comes to the choice between steak and veggies - I'm going meat all the way...

There is movement afoot - so we'll see what's happening I think while I still have a few minutes I may call Mom and get the family gossip...

I seriously don't get paid enough...

6AM flight - again.... back to the deep south... again.... hazy hot and humid - still. My neighbor is right I need a better travel agent, Chicago in freaking February and the deep south in the summer months - gee couldn't we reverse this trend? Really.

I am sitting in a very cool office - grateful to the gods for air conditioning the three H's are in full force down here... hazy hot and humid - temps in the mid to upper 90's needless to say Aunt Ing will NOT be spending a great deal of time in the great out-of-doors. Not unless she wants to ring out her clothing when she's done...

Right now it's a regular working Tuesday meetings and more meetings and without my brain fully engaged they are less entertaining than usual.

I've been here for 3 hours - and jumped on an empty office with a corporate network plug - apparently that was where someone else was squatting before I got here and he's wandering the halls looking for a place to dump his stuff... deal with it skippy I got here first. AND it's cooler than the testing lab with all the computer equipment running that hot silent hummmm (I'm afraid I can't do that Aunt Ing... try another path - you're on overtime let's have some fun shall we?)

Hum - Wha? Sorry dozed off there - what did I miss?

Called home to allay Nana's fears that I got in another tin can and have landed safely. And now here I sit listening to some woman drone on - then the awkward pauses, the mumblers in the back of the room - you can't do that to people who's alarm went off at 2:30 AM... which as previously documented is indeed the middle of the #@$^&%& night.

Let's talk about this past weekend shall we?? Now I probably don't need to mention that Bubba has his knickers in such a knot that I am seriously considering surgery to remove them from his - ah - well let's just say they are knotted up nice and tight shall we?

First I get home Friday evening - he strolls in later - preplanned he's out with a beer or two with the boys... Saturday... I am up with the girls, I have fed pups and then generally was enjoying quiet time with just Aunt Ing. Now up comes Mr. WE-have-to-get this done... THIS being trimming bushes. It's 90 plus degrees outside, the usual, so I putz, get laundry gathered, make a grocery list etc, until such time and Mr. Happy barks and I'm outside raking up chopped branches and the like... well he didn't call I am doing laundry, making a grocery list, etc... now in a move I can only reference the gods blessing me from on high - the bush trimmer died... and would not start again -- I was indeed on my knees thanking all the gods to make sure they all knew just how grateful I was...

Of course with one hand giveth - one hand taketh away... I got the honor while working from home Monday to take the trimmer to the repair place only to have them tell me it wasn't worth the money to repair - just go buy a new one... of course I had to tell Bubba the story 3 times before all the information sunk in... perhaps I should try that with other important information - like this trip to Huntsville - Bubba was all confused when I told him when I was leaving and when I was coming home - like this was all new to him... totally bummer that banging your head against a wall only burns 150 calories...

Stay tuned for more fun filled days and night here in beautiful Huntsville - or more whining about Bubba and his issue of the day - or the testing w(h)ine of the day... off to stare at blank walls for a few minutes.

Happy Father's Day!!!

Since this has been such a big hit with my family I thought I would share it with the other 3 people who read my words... During our recent trip to the cabin in the woods - and at other times my father has made reference to my husband's habit of eating all his nuts (he gets the big mixed nuts jar from Sam's Club)... plus Bubba only eats the nuts he likes and leaves the others - not a big fav with the Dad-mister either.... so during our recent cabin weekend Bubba sat there with the jar of nuts in his lap and my father kept referring to his nuts - and telling his son-in-law to get out of his nuts - leave his nuts alone... frankly very uncomfortable for his daughter -sitting right there listening to her father chastise her husband about his nuts... now given my twisty brain and too much time in traffic I came with the following letter - along with 3 bags of nuts, cashews, almonds and pistachios ... along with a plastic container with a loud 4-sided snap lid... see if you enjoy as much as dad did....

Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated
200 North Main Street
Goatscratch, MT 65432

Mr. J. A. Last Name... (not used for Internet protection)
123 South Street
Yinzerville, PA 15690


Dear Mr. J.A.;

It has come to our attention here at Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated that you have requested a "no gift- card only" policy for this upcoming Father's Day, as such we had to write. Do you have any idea how hard we have to work to get bad ties and cheap cologne made in this country; and during the early summer months? And don't get me started on those tables in Department stores - product placement is important!! Not to mention getting Dad's their own day without the wife nagging about something not getting done - its not like football season, baseball has too many breaks to come up with a good excuse to tell the little woman 'just a sec'.

Now after discussions with various members of your family - under duress we might add - we have concluded that you have an issue with your Maryland son-in-law and your nuts. Now we here at Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated we don't want to get into your personal life but hey, if protecting your nuts from your son-in-law is your thing then that's your thing.

Enclosed you will find a vessel to protect your nuts, we had a hard time finding a lock to further protect your nuts but we feel that a loud enough latch is enough warning for you to protect your nuts from your son-in-law. So, here is your gift, our 99% compliance of gifts for Father's Day is complete, and your nuts are protected. It's a win-win for everyone - except maybe that pesky son-in-law. But hey - he's an in-law and that is what Father's are for.

Enjoy your day Dad.

Sincerely,

John C. Smith
Senior VP of Marketing
Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated.

P.S. you might want to discuss this "la-la-la" issue your daughter has when discussing your nuts - it's very distracting.




The above letter was enjoyed by Dad, Mom and got a shrug from the son-in-law... go figure.

Happy Father's Day Dad - the best Dad a girl could have.

Is this Kansas?

No, thankfully, it is not - and neither is it Indianapolis or the bevy of bejeweled old ladies - I am home and with the non-bevy and non-bejeweled Bubba. I can't tell if he's happy to have me home or not - oh sure the magic house fairies will again appear and his meals will appear and his underwear will be clean... but after looking at the glazed over eyes while I talked to him of my adventures in mid-west - I can't shake the feeling he wasn't really all that interested.

I can't imagine why not! I mean for crying out loud I've been gone for a week! I have tales of gowns, and old ladies in motorized scooters who need to relearn how to drive and the food and the hot and the funnel clouds and that one tattoo... and the neon orange boob displayer... this is important! And I did mention in passing the house that Payton built - aka the place where the Colts play. Couldn't even get a rise out of him them... so we went to bed.

I was up early as Shelby had her food provider back and she wasn't taking no for answer after 8:30 - at least from me... so up, quiet, fed the pups, laid around feel back to sleep Bubba up - he's made his plans for the day and yes - we will be doing yard work later today... yippy! He has already mowed the lawn and we're about to embark on lunch, shopping and my continuation of laundry. Then yard work, then I will cook dinner tonight - start dinners for next week and continue that pattern into Sunday where I will also cook more food for next week, label everything and hopefully that will keep cranky at bay...

Got a call from Nana this AM, I didn't recognize her voice!! whoops but then she said Hi - and I got it... I was worried it was the girl's group - told them I was coming home Saturday instead of Friday. It was an honest mistake, I thought I was until I looked at my ticket... but I also figured Bubba would kill then divorce my butt if I did another "lodge" thing in the 3 whole days I'm home...

So I have a food plan, I have a shopping list, and coupons, I even signed up for the gas rewards points system... and if only if was for the gas Bubba can dispense at a whim or the pull of a finger... let's not go there shall we?

All right... he's showered and ready - and since I'm on computer .... oh goodie more later.

How long have I been gone?

Today is Tuesday... right? These old broads are kicking my pa-toot-ie... on the up side I didn't have a 6:30 AM breakfast and I am not currently sitting in a meeting in a dress... I got to sleep through my 3 martini hangover... Queen Nana and her tolerance of one half of a glass of anything smelling fermented had 2 chocolate martini's and was guided home by yours truly and her roommate... we'll get back to the drinking...

First the banquet - there was so much bling it would make a rap concert look like amature hour at the gold factory. Now there were 2 gowns of note... first chubby chick one - whom I have seen previously and apparently she's very proud of her tattoos, and wants everyone to see them. On her chubby uncovered arm and the one on her upper breast as she thought the top of a gown wasn't worth the money... yep you guessed it strapless gown or for the banquet she went upscale and wore a small piece of fabric over one shoulder but still managed to show off both very artful tattoos for everyone to enjoy... (now remember boys and girls I am a member of the chubby girls club - so I can call chubby chubby... and when you are not a size 10 sometimes more cover is a bit better - just saying)

Second dress was pointed out to me by a lady at our table, a very nice older lady, aged 76, who first complimented me on my gown, then pointed out the neon orange dress at the table behind us... now she too was a member of the chubby girl's club but I would put her on the skinny end of the club; but in the "girls" department she's build like a brick s-house. And apparently she is very proud of her girls because she encased them - mostly in that bright and I do mean bright neon orange plunging neckline that ended just about her belly button and when you got the side shot from princess sunkist - you got a serious flash of boob-age. I will compliment the gal - they were staying in place - high and tight - and if she had sneezed Sweet Georgia Brown we would have had one heck of show and I'm betting a few lost Shriners... old men can't take that kind of shock.

So me and Queen Nana's roommate duck out of the speeches early as we were told we had to go to something called ooga - booga. Mom too was supposed to duck out - but she took another water fowl path and chickened out... stayed for the whole thing which made me a bit nuts as I wasn't going to do this without my mother to enjoy my humiliation... She made it - she was late - I survived my 5 minutes and I am swore to tell no tales... old broads more costumes and foolishness - all in good fun.

THEN (and finally) we get back to Drunken Queen and her court jesters. We're at the hotel bar and the happier Queen Nana got the louder she got - and the girls kept up with her... but she needed that and I'm glad I am here and sharing in all her queen dome.....


(Interrupted and now we're on to Wednesday) -- EDIT no we're NOT.... all above was MONDAY.. today is Tuesday... kill me kill me now.

Tuesday night was the night of never ending skits and dancing... picture it, women in silly costumes, dancing about with scarves, boas, you name it... it went on forever... finally it ended, we got back to our room got comfy and then we got to go to my Maryland Mom's room for drinks and chat and mellow out.. then we came back to our room and died.

I am crossing my fingers that FINALLY they have fixed the AC.. I called this morning I went down at lunch and finally this room is cooling off... I cannot sleep in these hot rooms and its starting to show.. On the up side I'm taking mom out to dinner tonight at THE place that is down town Indianapolis... steaks of course as there isn't a large body of water close by.

So with that - me the old broads and my tired backside are heading out and about - this should be entertaining... more later I hope.

The Golden Girls convention Days 1, 2 and 3..

Day one was travel day, wander about - and a bit of drama. So Bubba got home at 2 AM, I woke up at 5 AM, to make my 9 AM flight. Up, shower, love the puppies, who were a bit clingy that early in the AM, but I got out the door didn't get lost finding the parking place, but did turn one turn too soon.. got parked, go the airport got coffee - and the security line... it isn't my usual 5 AM at the the other airport during the week - this is summer, families those who don't travel frequently... cripes and enough already. But I had plenty of time no worries.

Flight was uneventful - discovered smart to purchase the line up ahead for the airline of non assigned seating. Got a little worried when it took time for my luggage to show up... but it did all good.

Hung out with Queen Mom and while she will never admit it she's in full queen mode. She's not keeping track of her attendants, but she has a pretty good idea where everyone is...

With the PA contingent apparently church is a must - now this was a nice old church in downtown Indianapolis... really hate to be film at 11 that a church caves in because Aunt Ing managed to find the inside of a church on a date not involving a major holiday named Christmas or Easter. But apparently the chest tap, wink and nod, to the big guy up stairs got us all through the service, and we all walked out under our own power and with all four walls still standing. Thankfully this was not the church of the long-winded preacher, we were in and out in short hour. Plenty of time to make dinner... but alas best laid plans of Past Drama Queens (more on her later) and neurotic reigning queens are often interrupted by forces of natures - in this case a flood... in Mom's hotel room.

Apparently Mom's roommate had gazed longingly at the toilet and in it's fear of old ladies and their daily fiber intake committed suicide by having it's tank slide sideways and crack open a baseball sized hole releasing all it's watery contents, and with the tank empty the water kept gushing onto the floor, the carpet and allowing all some splish-splashing fun! Mom and her crew including yours truly go running up and along with 2 maintenance men, one poor soul from housekeeping and 2 - yes 2 security guards. Now when the boys with the badges showed up Aunt Ing in full "protect the old people mode" starting asking questions, why, what for, bla bla bla until Queen Mom told me to butt out and she handled Mr. Rent-a-hotel-cop without issue.

So, 5 women, 2 maintenance men can move 2 women's entire hotel room in under 5 minutes. And there were a lot of "I gots" along the way... as in "I got the crown", "I got the purses" "I got this suitcase...." you get the idea.

Dinner was far less eventful as only half the expected attendees actually attended...the gals were counting on the PDQ and she and her "Friends" didn't attend. PDQ - Past Drama Queen - only in the fact she's a past queen but the drama is still present and accounted for in a continuing and regular basis.... PDQ is a lady in mom's group whose nose is out of joint so often she might as well break it and leave it in that position, must be tough moving it back and forth so much - and frankly exhausting to my mind...

So, after dinner and drama that 5 AM wake up to get here was starting to make itself felt... back to my hotel to watch the real-live mother nature toss one heck of a party, only to have my roommate get stuck at the zoo as they had to move their picnic indoors - after enjoying thunder, lightening, and the occasional funnel cloud... I hit the pillows and that was pretty much all she wrote...

Day 2 - slept in.... thankfully laid about and by the time my roommate returned she found me still in my pj's - showered just not dressed. Very mellow day until we hit dinner, and the opening of the meetings... I am searching for words to adequately describe a convention hall full of little old ladies in get ups ranging from fancy ball gowns to clown outfits to extras to the "Walk like an Egyptian" video shoot circa 1985.

Of course with all this pageantry everyone has to be introduced, photographed, paraded about ... then in a moment in which I can only call further torture of people sitting in uncomfortable clothes in a room that was thinking about having air conditioning there was singing - and not a fun like group sing along.. oh no. As per usual at these events, they get some frustrated singer whose friends have lied to her over the years about the quality of her voice , and she proceeded to murder the second worse song ever sung "Memories"... (personal taste if you love this mess enjoy and ignore my comments) ... to add to the fun?? She' was 1/2 beat behind the piano off key.... my fillings will need adjustment when I get home... THEN they let this woman sing again! And it was pointed out that the woman catter-walling the second song wasn't the woman noted in the program--- you don't show up for your song - the song goes bye-bye and the rest of the dental challenged world is eternally grateful.... No need to have Miss couldn't find the right note with a GPS device; rattle out teeth a second time.

Day 3 - Up too early, wardrobe decision lunch with Mom and the PA crowd so dressed, to the meeting and snore.... it don't matter the organization - national conventions are reports and bla bla bla...

Lunch with the ladies was interesting, Mom forget her corsage, we went to her hotel, room key wouldn't work, screw it - went to lunch a bit late, only to discover her ladies had saved HER and seat and not me... whoops. So Mom and I sat with other ladies and of course her ladies were cranky because their queen didn't sit with them. Mom was cranky they didn't save us both a seat.... and she told them she was having lunch with me... busted again.

I've got a banquet tonight that my roommate is not attending... then something fun with Mom, if there is a god there will be drinks afterward. ;-)

Stay tuned for days 4 plus... and news from Bubba... right now as everyone could have guessed he's not thrilled to be home alone. The magic house fairies just don't to the house work as well when I'm not home... ;-)

While I'm working from home...

This is what my dogs are doing... tough life eh?

Panic has indeed set in...

First I am actually in the office - what the heck was I thinking? But I think I'm going to bag it early and get on the road before traffic becomes nuts and I'm not happy and running behind...

Next we still have to go to the next building over to go to the ladies room - yes the ones here still don't look in working order. Picture it - crappy office building in Northern VA - carpet all pulled up from the hallway, dryers blowing, strange tubes running from the walls to a sink in the rest room - oh yeah so not going in there and risking the great shower of ick if we flush... so while here one must plan ahead... fun isn't it? another reason I'm heading home early.

Next on the agenda is my manicure - because I deserve it and I want pretty nails for my convention next week.

Then back to my list, and making sure Bubba has what he needs to survive a week without me, and then another list of things I can't forget, I've got my running done, now I just have to finish up at home, leave my list for Bubba and accept the face that when he wakes and looks around he's going to have a list of things I haven't done and why am I traveling for something I don't have to be... bla bla bla. As if he can't physically pull a weed, do his own resume and job searching and what every whiny PITA problem he's going to come up with. Then I'll go have another drink and forget all about it...

All right back to work, finish that up - then off to deal with the rest of it all... I'll sleep when I'm dead. :-)

My lists have lists...

OK so this morning we hit the ground running - well as much as my mornings start quickly, up shower, dogs, dress, hair, makeup, doctors - only to find out I could have done this over the phone... no biggie make a run the pharm to ensure I have drugs until the end of the month... then I email the workers and ask about the situation concerning the ladies room in the office and whether or not they are working... they weren't yesterday.

Rumor was not sure if working and the stink was "unreal" - so I ran a few more errands and came home - yep working from home again. Life ain't so bad, I've got a number of work things done - and a number of non- work things done. plus I have good face and hair not that the dogs care!

They are currently sleeping soundly in the corner of the office... ah peace. Give it 10 minutes and Shelby will be up barking at something. I have a number of errands to complete this afternoon - my lists have lists - so I can help out with a lodge dinner tonight - then get home think about packing -- work at work tomorrow, Bubba is coming home so I've got to make sure things are tended to for next week, and then make more lists so I don't forget something - like contact lens solution or heaven knows what. But with just me and no nagging Bubba I tend to pack better - the trip to Huntsville should be more of a challenge as we'll have to do a number of things in addition to just packing for a work trip... sigh.

All father's day stuff will arrive very early as if I were to leave stamped, addressed cards here at home and ask Bubba to mail them next week - they would be in the exact same spot I left them a week ago... I know this - so Happy Father's Day early.. yeah.

I am beginning to wonder where I am going to leave this lengthy note to Bubba - stapled to his sleeping forehead would probably not be the best idea... perhaps attached to something editable... no - he'll eat out first - AH - on the mail. I could be bleeding and dying and he'd check the mail first - just in case something was late - you'll still be bleeding honey. That's love boys and girls -true love.

All right-y then I'm off to finish my working day - finish another action item on my home to do list and then start running again... I need to be 3 people, one to work full time, one to handle all the volunteer stuff I can't say no to, and one to do all the wife-y duties around the house. You know, laundry dishes the like - where were YOU going? Perv. :-)

Oh yeah I've got to squeeze in a manicure tomorrow - now the nails look all right but there are a few chips and whoops in the color that isn't gong to work for the Shriner ladies... must have fancy nails for the golden girls. Or maybe just me -and a week without washing dishes eh?

Stay tuned for when panic sets in - some time about noon tomorrow. Won't that be fun?

That will teach me.....

Oh sure making appointments, trying to have a life, what the heck was I thinking? Left work a bit early yesterday to the lady of the magic elixir that makes the undesirable color in my hair go away. (aka Miss Clairol). As I was making my way back to the wilds of Maryland I receive a message on my mobile nag aka the blackberry. Meeting regarding testing at 4:00 -- the moment I get into the chair.

SO! There I sit apologizing up and down to the very nice lady slathering goop into my hair, putting some in foil other just on my hair, as I sat there listening to the boss man bather on and then the big bomb hits - you guessed I'm headed back south. The fun part? After my gal was done slathering my hair, I was outside the hair salon, in my smock, goop in my hair, talking into my phone, making plans to get off a plane on Saturday - and get onto another one 3 days later. Yes you read that right - three days later. I called Bubba post hair getting done, warned him that this was coming, now as he's still on the West Coast and he hasn't really looked at his calendar it will dawn on him about mid-week that I'm gone for the first trip that I will be home for a mere 3 days then gone again for another 10.

My kitchen won't be used much this month, but the microwave will be. ;-)

This morning I'm making list upon list to see what I have to get done early, what I have to plan ahead for, and all the notes I am going to have to leave for Bubba so my house will run smoothly while I'm gone - or more like just handling details that Bubba just thinks magically happens. The dish fairy, the laundry fairy, etc. Its a life.

On the up side today is work from home day so I can get some running done and have several things less to worry about. And of course I have a list for that too... on the down side, its raining and promises to keep raining all day.. yeah. I had errands in the rain, slows everything down.

OMG. Give it about a week until Bubba starts complaining about things not being done around the house... i.e. I don't have the weeding done. sorry honey - I'm not ruining a manicure for that right now. Why don't you try it? ;-)

Stay tuned heaven only knows what this day will hold.

A bit of fat to chew on...

OK - gross picture to think on.. but anyone who has seen the movie "... Ya Ya Sisterhood" will get it. Any-way... here at Large Nameless Corporation we are required to take certain training courses on a yearly or bi-yearly basis. Now of course I understand the importance of reminding the mass of corporate drones to account accurately the time we spend working, and to follow the corporate policies for the various and numerous issues that are simply a part of the industry in which we work.

Today's "lesson" however ate at me, it's Ethics training. Now Ok - in the light of all we live in Corporate Ethics is mostly an oxymoron but today's lesson was something else. Now this is an update to the usual on-line here read this take a test, pass and click the up link to Corporate Training that you have fulfilled your obligation. My previous issue with this training (you knew I had to have one) is that the test was not - what do you if... it was mostly "what part of the Ethics Motto pertains to...." seriously. When given the opportunity to give feedback - I did (Don't test me on motto's - test me on my responses to situations). So I could be part of the reason of the new training. (no good deed and all that)

NOW we have to sign up - sit in a room, and listen to someone READ from his notes and make us suffer through the usual power point presentation. Snore. Now they had a list of 8 issues they wanted to cover, now depending upon your job anywhere from 3 - 5 issues actually pertained to you. Perhaps it's all those years of Italian-Mother-Catholic-Guilt but never in a million years would I advertise my person side business to all my coworkers via email... But I do know some idiot did. My worst abuse of company resources is internet radio and the occasional blog post. ;-)

They presented these scenarios that were blatantly obvious there was a problem, well duh - report the scum sucked a-hole manager who thinks dirty jokes are funny. If they doesn't work, meet him in the dark parking garage with your large Italian Uncle Guido and your pistol - that should solve the problem, and frankly with less paperwork. But perhaps that is just my inner red-neck coming out. What I found telling is they had this scenario where NO one had a clue what the F these people were looking for... when he popped up the answer we all looked at each other like, "do you know anyone who might be part of a Federal Commission?" I of course had to ask, "Under what planet is this applicable to anyone in this room?" Few people had a response but there was always kiss-fanny-sally's who said "I am sure someone might have that opportunity..." Yeah in upper management or the oober geeks we keep locked away in their own labs without much contact to the outside world. In my mind these were first insulting and second not applicable to anything practical for 9/10's of the working drones. typical. Finally on this rant of corporate indoctrination... the final video... the mish mash of all well dressed corporate drones - droning on how important ethics is in their life and how it's your job to have ethics. Thank you hand selected culturally diverse corporate drones - we huddle masses had no clue... *sigh*

Let's face it folks - unless your mama and daddy beat right and wrong early on in your years - sitting in a conference room at at the tender age of XX isn't going to make you an ethical person. But like a good little corporate drone - I sat, I listened, I made one stupid statement, I went to lunch. I know right from wrong - as I did have mama and daddy and regular beatings. ;-) Ok - off to get rid of the grey hair and tomorrow is work from home day - ain't life grand?

Monday posts...

I have found that Monday posts are either a re-hash of the events of my weekend or the very yawn inducing of my Monday. Today is a unique Monday - no meeting. Very cool. No Bubba - no dinner cooking, no dishes etc. Work has been quiet - and will remain so for this week, then the cooker gets turned up as I jet my way across the county - and stop in the middle.

Bubba and I will pass in the night later this week. He had a rough trip out to his usual West Coast stop - 2 hour delay getting out of Baltimore last night, overnight is Salt Lake then on to his West coast office. He called this afternoon, he's on the ground, not really happy but headed to work. Poor Bubba. Phone calls should be interesting this week- or it could be just more grumping. Stay tuned.

There weren't any fireworks at the staff meeting today, a little blip of something due with 9 days prep time for a whole lotta crap - and oh yeah - we haven't made up our minds yet so do this - then in 3 months do it all over again. If I had that job I would be drinking. I'm constantly amazed I don't drink more on this job. ;-)

I do have to comment on something that happened Friday night and again on Saturday... Two separate people looked at me and said I looked "at peace" and "glowing". It ain't the usual "glowing" those parts are gone... but at peace? I am sure my face displayed my confusion but it was nice to hear - but then I got to thinking about what the heck did I look like before? I can just imagine between fertility drugs, complete system failure and all the rest of the crap... I am still amazed anyone speaks to me. So I guess I've got my act together... go figure. I figure when I finally got my act together I'd forget where I put it (from a movie I think..)

Nice to hear - let's hope I don't screw it up. lol

All right I am now off to fight the traffic devils home - love the pups and basically veg out for the night. Can't beat that with a stick can you?

Ah... see the peace....

After the rumble of thunder and flash of lightening are over... but ah... Bubba is headed West. I am home it is quiet, the kitchen is clean, the laundry is done, and the pups are sleeping. Welcome to paradise.

Of course he heads out the door, I settle in for a private moment (bathroom really people), and have to rush to answer the phone - I know who it is... Bubba. NOW he has to talk to me when he's had the drive to and from lunch, lunch, and the 2 hours he pissed away before he had to leave... he can only talk to me on the phone from the car??? Seriously. Hurts my head.

Of course the conversation is what are "we" going to get my father for father's day... the man does 3 things on a regular basis that I care to think about in polite company, eat, sleep and work and watch TV... ok 4. But still - sleep? Can't do much with that. Eat - Gift Card to favorite place up here, or work... you're on your own there skippy.

So because darling Bubba can't remember any big chain restaurants near his home in the wilds of Southern MD, it's Visa gift card time and here - enjoy. I have already bought the cards... so that's done. My Dad is already taken care of.. so no worries there. Of course I'm going to have to send it early because of my travel schedule. No worries there either.

Be prepared boys and girls Bubba is gone for the week, so it could be quiet or it could be nuts. Be prepared. I've got nothing planned this week, I've got some personal errands to tend to and I've got to be ready to go Saturday morning... so making a list checking it twice and it don't matter if I'm naughty or nice because ain't no one home to tell me... ;-)

Its a short burst of the mind dump today - I'm looking forward to a quiet afternoon....

Oh - wait must tell of yesterday which really started Friday night. Rainbow girls - big state wide meeting, I've got new girls, we've practiced...it's all good. As a matter of fact it was too good, things were done, we were ready we were sitting around for a bit...then I started to worry... it was 1:15 and no one was here yet! My new girls were here - they brought parents interested parents... then the world exploded, first a group of kids with a flat tire, Dad to the rescue. Next someone had a fender bender, no worries a little shook but OK... then one car of girls - major accident car rolled, taken to local hospital we started 30 minutes late - we scrambled to fill holes but in the end we heard from the adults who ran from the meeting to the hospital that the girls were being send home and are probably really hurting today, and everyone was generally OK. We all said our thank you prayers for young lives so tended and the meeting went off without a hitch. AND I had so many hands to help I didn't come home and die like I usually do from these meetings. I was wonderful!!

A marked improvement from the state visit of 2 years ago when I was ready to toss everyone out on their ears before the meeting got started. And that's a good thing.

So - that is behind me, a great trip to look forward to, hopefully a quiet week all the way around and a Sunday afternoon to myself.

That boys and girls is living.

Welcome to Friday...

I haven't been sure of the day of the week all freaking week, first you gave me an extra day off which tosses it all into the shredder - then working from home on the wrong day - and add in meeting with the girls on another day, an additional meeting and I'm lucky I still know my name.

Work has been quiet but we had a wrinkle if intrigue the test team, not a stellar group of gentlemen to begin with, apparently are being carefully and systematically being shown the door. Now the impact for me (and it's all about me - really people you must pay attention) is that I may or may not have to travel back down to Huntsville. Oh goodie. Now we're having a meeting to discuss this issue. Shoot me now.

Next I have realized I've got a ton of stuff to do and not a lot of time to do it today. Tonight - Bubba decides he's coming home early. Just when I plan on him coming home the regular time. *sigh* Never fails. But hey if I can work it I may pop out a few minutes early, get some running done then, it should be workable.

The next two weeks are going to be interesting... Bubba leaves Sunday afternoon, after I'm gone all day this Saturday - he's going out Saturday Night then he gets home late next Friday night and I'm out the door early Saturday morning and will be gone all week. What fun. Wait - what fun!! ;-)

Two weeks alone, one week without any responsibilities... very cool -- in a very selfish sort of way... hee hee hee.

Went to lunch with a former co-worker. The best thing I can say about him, if it weren't for bad luck he'd have no luck at all. Holy cow. AND the last thing he says to me is his wife has cancer on her spine and the prognosis isn't good!! OMG.

Couple that with my friend from college being in the hospital for the past 3 months! And she said she might be heading down my direction for some medical trial! Cripes. I did offer to her to stay with us and I would drive them through the wilds of DC. BIG change from the wilds of north western Pa... trust me. It took a good year for me to stop the panic attacks with every trip - believe me!! Perhaps this is God telling me to straighten up and fly right, and live life.

On that note -- I'm not working very late today - life is too short.

As Auntie Mame said, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death."

Today's lesson boys and girls... do something YOU enjoy even if it's for 10 minutes a day. And make each minute count.

Its always something

Today has been quiet, I went into work way too early, did my busy work, there were 4 people in the office today, and there just isn't a whole lot going on. This is the calm before the craziness of another delivery cycle.

Although my work day ended with a little spice, apparently lead code jockey guy in Huntsville wanted to discuss and issue, and the boss man kept shutting him down. Now considering that said lead code jockey is the boss's go to man...we here in the wilds of DC see a pot on simmer with explosion potential. This could be fun to watch... from a far.

Then it was a very quiet night, Bubba managed to get home at 9:40 PM, I cooked and ate dinner without him. Frankly we're going to do that more and more - tired of eating so late then getting to enjoy it a second, third and fourth time in the night. I going to take stock in Tums soon.

Any who... mistakenly asked if his royal highness could make it home in time to deal with pups as I'd like to go to a meeting Thursday before my trip in the wilds of Indiana. Well of course that set off the entire "you're doing too much lodge crap" rant number 674. Things around the house aren't getting done, such as the deck needs cleaned and repainted. OK I'm doing to do that alone on a Wednesday night waiting for your lilly white fanny to come home. Think again skippy.

And you're leaving this weekend, so that's out regardless of what I've got cooking. Next weekend is out because you won't get home until late Friday and by the time you get moving I'll be heading to middle America... yes for Lodge crap. One trip - you'd think I'd rented a room in NYC and invited 200 strangers to order room service. Seriously. Then I'm gone every Monday night. BFD. It's not like he goes hungry has to do his own laundry/dishes/ lift a freaking finger... what the F isn't getting done to your royal satisfaction. He can't answer that question -- which makes me even more nuts.

I manage to cook, pick up, do laundry, tend to pups and other general issues while having my Monday nights booked and the occasional Thursday night. This week is exceptional because we've got a big meeting coming up the girls need the practice time. I like doing with the girls - it's frankly dealing with him is the biggest hassle with all this. Seriously.

I keep threatening to keep a list - perhaps that isn't such a bad idea. Mr. "It ain't getting done" can add his helpful suggestions and then I can tell him where to put them. This boys and girls is what makes a marriage strong - the restraints that bind you together and the goal to chew through them before die. (Its good to have goals.) ;-)

Its a pissing contest of wills and frankly I just refuse to make a puddle and walk around the one that is there. Too much work otherwise. This issue will continue until I stop doing anything outside of my house -and when that day arrives I give it 2 weeks before I'm on the roof with his shotgun shouting things to the camera man like "It's @#$%^ CLEAN AND if I don't get out of this house now and talk to another PERSON who an actually CARRY ON a conversation outside of the male pattern grunts and clicks the husband's car gets it - AND his credit card while I'm at it... take me to the mall. " Film at 11.

But you see I know this - therefore I will continue with outside activities that are not work related, and I will not be on the roof of my home shooting out my husband's windshield and telling him via "Action News" that he can wash his own bunched undies.

So in closing --- 1) girls, have outside activities with other women so you can have pressure release valve, 2) when he can't come up with some arcane idiotic reason why you need to be home go out and enjoy worry free and 3) when all else fails talk to him from the moment he walks in the door until he lays his weary head down at night... when he asks for some peace and quiet - go out. Trust me.

OH and boys - little tip for you all... when your wife has spent 90 minutes getting her nails, toes and eyebrows done... your only comment cannot be "it's red." Explaining that pan shaped mark on your face won't be easy to married male co-workers. Trust Aunt Ing - she has the wisdom of the ages.



OH - quick update - used the line about sleeping in the dog's crates when asked (From the other room) what I was doing in the room that contained the dog crates and the computer... anyone want to guess the response? We'll make it easy - happy or cranky.



People if you picked anything but cranky you aren't following along closely enough. Go back and study up on Bubba 101, emotions (2) cranky and happy. Happy is about 10% of our week. Really people why do I document all this? (yeah yeah no roof, gun, film at 11... whatever)

Welcome back...

To the land of the plugged in... 2 days without cell phones, email and just good stuff, beautiful weather, food, wine, laughter, tears and everything in between... not a lot of tears and such but just about everything else. ;-)

Saturday was in-law day, we got to see everyone for a bit - which was nice. Had a nice lunch at what is becoming the usual place-- Red Lobster. Still a nice lunch. There were some observations, niece A having recovered nicely from delivering her second child, brought said child, and her first born along with baby daddy #2 along, 45 minutes later ... but apparently she was waiting for him as he was off doing what he had to do. Any how... saw niece D who is starting to turn into her mother... something if possible I would beat out of her.. but she doesn't live with me but her mother. Perhaps that is why I push so hard for her to go away to college - get out of that house even for a couple of years - discover a world outside of the county and town you live. It's the scariest, most exciting, terrifying experience - but because it comes from me - niece D's mama don't want to hear it... that and losing your baby to the wide world. I was again told to butt out... I asked answered are you going away to school in the fall; it annoyed the crap out of me her mother answered... she can talk honey - let her.

Any who no biggie - of course I'm sure Bubba and my name was mud this weekend because we wouldn't change our schedule to match hers and her party that didn't start until 4 freaking PM... AND she was making her mother - for whom that party was being thrown... (Bubba's Mama's Birthday) 2 side dishes and she had to go out and buy the protein for the party... nice. I didn't say a word...

My concern is that niece A's first born is still on those ADD drugs... this kid is STONED. He doesn't eat, he doesn't engage in conversation. I mean the difference between 3 year old niece M and nephew J... unreal. This kid needs discipline and a stable home life with a man in his day - which he now has, get this kid off those drugs! But again I don't know what I am talking about he's behind in school you can hear it, my brother's eldest was a talk-y pain in the neck, Kevin was home, fixed it and she has changed, a little discipline and tough love - it works boys and girls. See Bill Cosby. She was also read to as a little kid and knows her letters and numbers - he is just now getting to his letters and he's going into the first grade!!! OMG. Another one who's going to be on the public dole for the rest of his life... poor baby.

Bubba keeps telling me to keep my nose out of it - and I do - mostly. My mother in law keeps tying to tell me he wouldn't learn without those drugs. He isn't learning on them - he's not focused he stoned, he isn't retaining any of that information -- and I'm off again. Never mind. Not my problem. I am not permitted to say anything. So I'll grump here..

And I am honest enough to admit here that most of these issues are mine... so y'all get to listen to me...

Sunday - ah Sunday. Sunday was one of those days that is a gift from God. The sun was out, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, it was warm toward hot we played in the water, we ate, we drank, we built the fire, we laughed we talked and enjoyed the day. Bubba mowed grass and went to bed early... go figure. He didn't even come down to the water with us once! Poor Shelby we had to leave at camp the second trip to the water, her elbow couldn't handle all those slippy stones and rushing water... I felt bad for her. But boy did both pups crash hard at the end of that day!!

Monday - we left way too early, got home way to early and we had grumpy Bubba to play with. Grumpy Bubba is no fun. Grumpy Bubba is grumpy and nit-picky and a generally pain in the neck, Mr. Family secrets. Enjoy your lonely life with your sister - the two of you can stew in your own juices when the rest of us has had enough-- of course those can't stand each other either so they will really be alone. I will be at the movies.

Today - well today was a series of whoops that turned into a good thing. Got a late start, major accident on the major road into work, got a notice of meeting I had to attend, turned around, came home attended my meetings and worked from home. Plus I had time to get my toes, nails and eyebrows done. It's all good. And it's fire hot red and fabulous.

And then I've got Rainbow practice tonight. Now I'm off to deal with dinner so his royal highness won't starve when he gets home, and so I have something in my tummy before dealing with Rainbow girls.

Stay cool, enjoy the weather and stay tuned for more tales from Grumpy Bubba land... now if I could only get him to say "wiggly worms on toast" (see my niece's Grumpy Bunny series of books) I got to read to her a lot - enjoyed it very much.