Happy Father's Day!!!

Since this has been such a big hit with my family I thought I would share it with the other 3 people who read my words... During our recent trip to the cabin in the woods - and at other times my father has made reference to my husband's habit of eating all his nuts (he gets the big mixed nuts jar from Sam's Club)... plus Bubba only eats the nuts he likes and leaves the others - not a big fav with the Dad-mister either.... so during our recent cabin weekend Bubba sat there with the jar of nuts in his lap and my father kept referring to his nuts - and telling his son-in-law to get out of his nuts - leave his nuts alone... frankly very uncomfortable for his daughter -sitting right there listening to her father chastise her husband about his nuts... now given my twisty brain and too much time in traffic I came with the following letter - along with 3 bags of nuts, cashews, almonds and pistachios ... along with a plastic container with a loud 4-sided snap lid... see if you enjoy as much as dad did....

Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated
200 North Main Street
Goatscratch, MT 65432

Mr. J. A. Last Name... (not used for Internet protection)
123 South Street
Yinzerville, PA 15690


Dear Mr. J.A.;

It has come to our attention here at Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated that you have requested a "no gift- card only" policy for this upcoming Father's Day, as such we had to write. Do you have any idea how hard we have to work to get bad ties and cheap cologne made in this country; and during the early summer months? And don't get me started on those tables in Department stores - product placement is important!! Not to mention getting Dad's their own day without the wife nagging about something not getting done - its not like football season, baseball has too many breaks to come up with a good excuse to tell the little woman 'just a sec'.

Now after discussions with various members of your family - under duress we might add - we have concluded that you have an issue with your Maryland son-in-law and your nuts. Now we here at Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated we don't want to get into your personal life but hey, if protecting your nuts from your son-in-law is your thing then that's your thing.

Enclosed you will find a vessel to protect your nuts, we had a hard time finding a lock to further protect your nuts but we feel that a loud enough latch is enough warning for you to protect your nuts from your son-in-law. So, here is your gift, our 99% compliance of gifts for Father's Day is complete, and your nuts are protected. It's a win-win for everyone - except maybe that pesky son-in-law. But hey - he's an in-law and that is what Father's are for.

Enjoy your day Dad.

Sincerely,

John C. Smith
Senior VP of Marketing
Father's Day Gift Crap, Incorporated.

P.S. you might want to discuss this "la-la-la" issue your daughter has when discussing your nuts - it's very distracting.




The above letter was enjoyed by Dad, Mom and got a shrug from the son-in-law... go figure.

Happy Father's Day Dad - the best Dad a girl could have.