He graciously let us sleep in until 8:30 I think he realized what bodily injury might come to him from the suggestion of a pre-7 AM wake up call. I didn't threaten, I merely stated in logical terms why it would be such a good idea to get up that freaking early to sit around and stare at each other has his power washer toy place didn't open till 10, the bank at 9 and my patience around noon.
So, up, dogs, Violet wasn't in the mood to eat, so I sat - he's up showered and barking orders. So up change into work clothes, I make breakfast, off he goes to get his pre-employment drug test, and to pick up his toy, and I clean the kitchen, start the dishwasher pick up a few things, do the doggie duty patrol, sweep off the deck, take all movable objects off the deck, putz - and just as I slip off my shoes... he's back. Now he starts with "do you have my bleach thing?" No - what bleach thing? He needs bleach diluted in a spray bottle for the siding. OK fine I handle that. As he doing the siding I start to clean out my car...
(and that is far as I got that day due to WHAT ARE YOU DOING? being shouted at me from darling Bubba.... now back to our story through the haze of a couple of days off..)
(firing up the way back machine...) let's go all the way back to Friday... day off from work, the sun is shining, the and power washer is here....and boy is it LOUD! Being as there is a power tool involved, Bubba ran the show, he did the siding, as I did clean out the family truckster - and discovered there was a lot of stuff hidden in parts of my beloved family car. That job was done, I took the sprayer as Bubba previously instructed me on it's use (its almost a power tool so he was reluctant to turn it over to little ole me!) Now as the sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze blowing had I sprayed the deck cleaner on the deck when HE wanted me to... it would have been dried and crispy by the time he got around to power washing the deck.... BUT because I wasn't doing things to his timetable or to his methodology much grumping ensued. During this time as well he asked me to call our bug people to get a quote on spray for ants and if they had anything for stink bugs. I did, left message, they called back I am talking to them, Bubba is asking questions WHILE I was trying to talk to the bug guys on the phone -- I then handed the phone to Bubba and let him deal with it. If I don't ask the questions your quirky little brain does -- then don't delegate butthead-- do it yourself.
OK bug thing tended they were coming that afternoon - oh goodies. Next we were onto the deck, now my thinking was to spray cleaner in a logical pattern basically breaking up the deck in half to ensure you didn't have puddles and to make sure that everything got cleaned. Then Bubba just started and directing and away we went, I got misted, sprayed and annoyed. I used every ounce of cleaner and then cleaned out the pump sprayer and grabbed my book and sat in the shade with the dogs... mistake as Bubba could see me and I wasn't busy. He stops power washing to yell at me and ask me what I was doing. "keeping the dogs off the deck" was my thoughtful reply - then I was tasked because apparently when one doesn't look as if they are doing something in front of Bubba he has to tell you what to do. I did enjoy as he rattled stuff off to do I stated... "done done and done." And when he muttered about doing something I quipped, "there is one washer dear what do you want me to do? Hold your hand?"
Failing to see the humor, sarcasm or simple statement I went inside to "look" busy. I should have packed for the trip Monday - but I don't that ... I started the laundry, I paid the bill, put the check book in the computer - puzted started a blog then got yelled at. The bug guy showed up - Bubba while having time to think while blowing chunks of wood off of our deck so got his tighty white-ies in a bunch over the previously agreed to price with the bug guys... then the poor guy showed up - he had to talk to the boss Bubba in his usual I've got a snit going good humor I spent half his visit apologizing for his manners. Bubba left to return the power washer (we had a four hour rental) upon his return bug guy was gone, let 6000 questions begin, again I didn't answer the questions correction I offered to dial the phone. He declined.
So we showered we changed and away we went to go CAR SHOPPING. Groan. For those of you not paying attention major purchases are a very long very drawn out process. Now yes, this is my car, I did some homework on the web but I am not a car -gal. My definition, put in gas, turn key go - oh yeah and see up over the fraking steering wheel. The last usually being my biggest hurdle.
"Vacation" Day 2 Saturday.
"What time is it?!??!" Cripes, up, dogs, dressed, breakfast (ignored cranky face) then outside to ... paint the newly cleaned deck. It was very zen, the neighborhood is quiet as the run rises (ok fine it was up but it was still too freaking early) We painted the deck, the dogs were chased off the deck, they slept in the sun, napped in the shade, barked at the passing leaf, and still we painted. My thoughts when to the original Karate Kid... Bubba to cars. nit, pick, pick, nit I dunno - I don't remember whatever, paint the deck ...
We agreed to dog sit the little pup next door, she came over, got on the deck stuck her head through the slats on the deck- she has cedar colored highlights. thankfully they got it...
Finished painting the deck, cleaned up the mess, cleaned up me, putzed, off to drive more cars, let's chat deal, let's go look, closing down dealerships, rushing home, feed pup we're watching, love pups, relax for 20 minutes, then off to dinner with my former office mate and her family it was GREAT. But apparently everyone else on the planet was celebrating something that night so there were a lot of parties and celebrations and noise but we stayed so long we outlasted most and it was a great night. We finally headed home, and I again fell face first into bed.
"Vacation" Day 3 - inching toward good
Up, dogs, showered, dressed, started making veggies for the picnic we were going to with the neighbors to welcome a friend home from parts afar. So chop chop, clean clean, call manicurist - get appointment with whomever - did a good job didn't take all freaking morning futzed up one nail heading home, got home, mixed up dips, labeled, packed up bags, packed up extras, had a contact lens meltdown, had to redo my face as not to scare small children and weak willed adults. That was done and of course Mr. Helpful is screaming "what are you doing - lets go!!" I start barking back until I realized Mr. Neighbor is at the door and I hold my tongue and smile, 2 minutes!! While Bubba manages to figure out the two bags sitting in the kitchen go with, and he barks at me to lock up the dogs... it would have went much smoother had he done that... but again Mr. Helpful his is SO not.
Enjoyed the picnic, met some great new people ate too much and enjoyed, I was burnt, fat happy and enjoyed my day....
"Vacation Day 4" - a tale of two Bubbas....
Monday morning, alarm, snore, snooze up moving, tending --- and then it starts. What are you doing we need to get to the bank we need to ........... insert laundry list here. Why didn't you do this last night why aren't you ready we should have gotten up at 5 AM so you could be ready. Nag Nag Nag. Now 1) yes I should have packed last night and 2) last night I was ironing and finishing laundry so it was done and 3) I was tired.
So I packed double checked contact lens stuff, mouth guard, clothes, shoes, hidden blunt instrument to blame mysterious stranger when I murder him dead, and of course clean undies. All check. I insist that breakfast must be eaten - I am already feeling wobbly. So cranky face and instead of quick drive through and done I now have to cook and clean up-- jagoff. Which I did. Made two. We ate we packed we went on our way. Bank 1 Notary wasn't in. Bank 2 Notary was busy, then wouldn't do Bubba's Signature because they were my girls' group and Ladies group accounts. Had dorkus just said YES we have accounts there - it was basically true, he belongs to my ladies group against his will but he does. But No Sherman Truthful must detail that it's my name not his - so she won't certify it... instead of getting up and leaving he has to spend 5 minutes auguring with her. MOVE FREAKING ON.... finally as we head to the mechanic to get HIS car in the shop I call our bank, they finally have a Notary.. I call Bubba who says why didn't you say this earlier. As the last time I needed this done - our bank didn't do it - now they do. Ok drop off his car, he chat with the mechanic, hops in my car still complaining about time, we have to do car stuff and get to our vacation - vacation place in time to check in and get to the spa... I was desperately counting the minutes to the spa...
I drop off Mr. Happy at our bank with his paperwork for the new job - I head to the gas station sorry hon we have to have gas to get to the spa - then you can turn it in dry... um k? I call Nana because if I didn't blow off some steam in the next 2 minutes there would have been a murder in Suburban DC and I would have been arrested in the spa. I was going to the spa. Did I mention how many times the man asked me if I had stamps - on me? FOUR - the last was when I was pulling away from the bank - when I mentioned if he was going to ask me again in 10 minutes? He finally quit asking.
A bit of gas, a bit of venting, I swing back, actually stopped the car, let him, he's all happy now. I'm still ready to commit murder - I don't switch off that quickly from 2 hours of berating on how slow I move and on and on and on frankly when he's in that mood I quit listening. But the tone and the rest just grates my last nerve - and I wonder why I over eat... (clue here)
NOW Mr. hurry hurry wants to saunter to Rockville and TEST DRIVE CARS. Cripes. I test drove 7 cars sat in 2 more and now he wants to do more - I won't mention the number of emails in our in box while he searches for the best deal. So we wander to a Honda dealer frankly the only major brand we haven't bothered with... we are no\w bothering. We waited while a car was brought around, I drove, wasn't thrilled like the one I had driven Saturday better - yeah it wasn't a cool blue color but I liked the silver color. NO Bubba I am not driving an hour out of my way to deal with another dealership half way across Maryland in another freaking county in the wrong direction of work to get the color I want - NO!!! I don't care if they are giving them away (ok we might talk then... but I doubt they are free) So we talk, we re-hash the already hashed - rehash that again while I desperately try not to shout ENOUGH ALREADY - GET THAT ONE!
I am driving so Bubba can read email, handle calls from dealerships, tap the salesman from the car I like - am I sure it's that one? I liked 3 cars - 2 basically equally, one had more storage space, I changed my mind and wanted all wheel drive instead of 4 wheel drive, when you need it you need it... even if I suck up 2 miles per gallon less... deal with it Bubba - when the weather gets crappy I want wheels to get home. Finally with numbers dancing in his head, he's not paying great attention to where we need to go I am driving and have NO clue. a little sniping and the statement that I - again - needed to eat (pushing 1:45!!) and we get there... check in and away to the spa.......... I made it.
A lovely 50 minutes were spent being pampered, scrubbed rubbed and tended... then I got to float in the hot tub, take a nice long cooling shower, primped, pampered I dressed and waited, checked email, ignored the car emails, got more water wandered finally Bubba emerged from his spa treatment (he got a massage) He wants to sit around and finish reading an article... I could have had a 1/2 of book done...
So we get into our room, get things settled i need to find a Wal-Mart because in the crush of this morning I forget a bathing suit and my books! I-- forgot--- reading material. Frankly I'm amazed it didn't trigger end of days right then and there. So thanks to my smart phone I had an address, just made serious of wrong turns, all with Bubba being SO very helpful including questioning my intelligence, my abilities with which to read a map, follow the GPS (which I had to turn down because SOMEONE was on the phone wheeling and dealing.) and then I found Target. Which apparently doesn't sell swim suits in one piece anymore - it's a top and the great snipe hunt for a bottom... seriously? Screw this - Bubba pulled up my map i then realized my freaking Wal-Mart was across the main by-way. Shoot-me-now.
OK so Mart, cheap suit, book, we saunter through the wine section (we're in VA) and checkout without muss or fuss. By the time we are done with that Bubba finalized the deal for my new car - with the caveat that we get up early Wednesday and head home - frankly at this point not an issue. We also spent 20 minutes searching our smart phones for a place to eat dinner - we find one, call in no need for reservations plug the address into the GPS on the phone, missed the building had a hard time finding parking, found the restaurant, parking and ate like kings!!! New Orleans cooking that was SOOO good... we ate enjoyed, sipped great and dark iced tea, and finished with Bi nets. A crown on the day........(I'll get to the rest in a minute.)
No comments:
Post a Comment