Right out of the shower - what you ask? Why Bubba's undergarments... wadded and bunched tight and put his royal highness is such a mood today - I was happy not to be home for parts of it.
Shall we begin at the beginning? Most times that is best. So of course I'm up because a) I have a bladder the size of a walnut and b) as soon as I'm up my dogs think it's time for breakfast and c) if I try to go back to sleep I get a doggie kiss facial - no not all that great because then she moves on the derma scrub involving her nails and the first four layers of my skin....
So up moving, dogs out, in, fed and we're napping. Its a peaceful time he's upstairs snoring the drone of the fans as we attempt to make sure our carpets and parts are good and dry - a lovely morning - Sundays should be. (Please I don't need cyber-guilt along with the Catholic variety)
ANYwho... you know who comes down stairs and immediately starts in with this that and the other as all it took was the look on his face to tell me that his undies had clumped and we weren't going to start the day well. He starts in about the carpets and moving the washer and the dryer and yadda yadda yadda, so I go upstairs get dressed and come back down... now let me pause right here and remind my 3 friends who read this mess regularly that I didn't marry Handy Andy, more like Clueless Clum-key. So we move the dryer and the hose from the back end to the vent outside pops off... he spends the next 20 minutes futzing with thing thing as I stand, trapped in the small space behind the dryer holding up one of the darn thing to keep it out of the muck under the washer and "in the proper position" Did I mention this took 20 minutes? Do you want to know how many spiders are (were) in the corners of my laundry room? I could give you an accurate accounting.
So finally he gets the do-hickey attached back onto the thing-a-ma-bob and I am free! To mop up the floor oh goodie!! As soon as a step gingerly over the hose and barely brush the darn thing it pops off again. Oh the joy in mudville THAT brought along. So after his little snit - I disappear he fights with the hose, clamp, whatever (never said I was handy either!) I get to watch the Steelers on the NFL channel and wonder exactly how I will be filling my time on Sunday afternoon this fall... but that is a rant for another day.
He finally gets it all put back together and again I get "are you going to do something" snit (apparently the bunching wasn't helped with the floor sitting and do-hickey fixing) I broom, I mop, I clean up we put down the carpets, he jams the edges back in with a screw driver and hammer or god knows because frankly boys and girls - Aunt Ing walked away. I have found after 20 plus years of marriage that process does indeed work best. When they yell for something like a tool or to call to 911 as they can't stop the blood flow - then you can be helpful - otherwise another room and personal space are best. (Little tip for you newly-weds)
Then with the yucky work done - mopping and such - he wants to push everything back in its proper place. Just a minute cranky pants, the floor has to dry - it will take all of 10 minutes. And it does, then we move things back I shower and we begin... the dance to get out the door and get some lunch.
I was ready at 12:30 we got out the door at 12:50 I have to be home by 1:30 as I'm meeting someone and we're doing Ladies Group stuff... so we had to 86 the Mexican place - which he spent 7 minutes looking for THE coupon, and then we had to search some hotel ad that came in the mail A MONTH AGO - as it had a better rate for his trip in September... I stupidly admitted I probably did toss it and didn't that just send the bunched and clenched into hyper-drive!
FINALLY - we get out the door - we get lunch, we get back and I leave his cranky bunched pants and enjoy a few hours planning a very nice luncheon. Then I get home, and Oh! Surprise! He's still cranky! For the love of god man pick out the bunch, unclench and MOVE ON. I instead make up a grocery list, plan the meals for the week, and (believe it or not) clip coupons, and go to the grocery store. Hells bells I even remembered the reusable bags!!!
A soothing hour later I have all I need, I check out, get home, unload the car, put it all away, make cole slaw for tomorrow's dinner (always better the next day) and begin prep work for tonight's enchilada... to which I don't have enough sauce I didn't make right because I didn't dip the tortilla's inside and out with sauce and I didn't use all the tortillas I bought. kiss..... my..... grits....
He ate, he was happy, I'm in here with indigestion, a dog crying because she can't figure out how to bunch the carpet enough to lay down, and banging on the keyboard. It could be worse I could be in Alabama for work and.............alone in a hotel room, without a kitchen to clean and without a husband with bunched underpants................. ah never mind. I miss my puppies.
We will see what Monday brings us, I have two drop offs before I make it into the office, only one work related, then a girl's group meeting tomorrow night and dinner already half done!
Take the small victories where you can get them.
WD-40 in his shorts would be wrong... wouldn't it? I mean just to keep things sliding along? Because frankly if we have another day like today... He's going to have a injury that won't be easy to explain away.
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