This is what I will ask for the next time my darling Bubba and I got out -- in public or with his family, or well frankly anywhere he happens to be within ear shot. Shall I 'splain?
Saturday was oh so busy - you saw the post regarding Mr. Bubba the fixer man. They are still up so kudos for being able to put a screw in a wall Bubba - you da man.. and I'm wandering already. Now with the arrival of the in-laws they came in sat, drank their coffee they purchased before coming to my house -- I know this because they called and asked if we wanted anything... but after we politely declined, coffee started sounding good on a cold wet late October day with the snow falling down... but I went home and made a pot.
So they arrive, all good, we chat, luggage is unloaded..that's another thing - I go out and help my parents unload, granted they travel with more - but still Bubba lift a suitcase for your father trying to figure out how to hold that dog of hers and take his shoes off before walking on my oh-so-clean carpets (NOT). ANY way... we go out to dinner more the topic of conversation (and a quick check to make sure Bubba isn't here) I will detail all that in a bit... now we left early for dinner in anticipation of the party time we needed to be there... we got the rookie waitress and she didn't quite have the swift feet thing quit down yet. So dinner took longer with poky patty and we get home and rush into costumes, our neighbors who probably saw the backyard light on called to ask if we were still coming. I said yes, dinner with the in-laws went late we're changing and coming over. When we get to the party our lovely hostess says why didn't we bring over Bubba's parents I said they knew we had the party and they were happy to stay home - I knew it wouldn't be a big deal for you... but they are who they are. I want everyone to note that I was nice, polite and didn't make any comments about their anti-social skills, there dork-ness just an honest explanation -- well that they are dorks. But phrased in a nice way.
Apparently Bubba 'the grim' in reference to his costume - and not his -- well yes, maybe his demeanor, later on SUNDAY tells me that I didn't need to tell the neighbors his parents were here - just that we were running late. "They're weird - not everyone has to know." This bit of nonsense from the man who wouldn't tell the lady at the bank that he has an account with them - I do through the ladies' group it's your signature - it's your ID - just get it done! (He needed something notarized - see previous post June time frame for that bit of mess) During THAT fight he says he can't lie as easily as I can...
Now I should lie to good friends as to why we're late because YOUR parents are anti-social. Huh? and you wonder why I drink - and blog or maybe you don't. But we we're not done with the post party wrap up of things I said that got Bubba's tighty white-ies in a bunch. Apparently repeating a joke our host made after we had moved in and over the next year and change got new cars including a Volvo (used) and his NEW audi - the neighbor joked about my job accesses and in a Russian accent asked me how was life treating me "comrade?" It was funny... except to Bubba - who said I have to stop telling people or acting like we're wealthy. again-- HUH? Do you not drive said car? When you pull out of the garage does it change it's appearance to a Yugo?* WTF is the state secret of what you drive? Now when he said this to me I looked at him like Shelby head tilted sideways and complete blank stare because frankly boys and girls I got nothing - I got no snappy come back from that depth of stupid. Bubba - sugar - you don't want people to think you got anything - drive a Yugo, go rent an apartment in a bad neighborhood and dress in rags... frankly pumpkin this is why I went to college so I don't have to do that... we moved OUT of the neighborhood of loud newspaper thieves and crazy idiots; and were able to buy zippy cars... but one of us is now driving a Kia... I'm just saying.
Are you afraid that one of our neighbors is going to ask you for a loan? Last time I checked they all work too - and take foreign vacations for weeks, and still drive nice cars and live in the same neighborhood as you. Kinda like Christmas when I made a joke to my mother referencing my favorite movie (Steel Magnolias) where the Shirly McLean character states "The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God". So tell me - does that imply that I do indeed have more money than god or am I being sarcastic thereby negating the statement of having money? The word JOKE should have been a clue and if someone would come up with a sarcasm font - we'd have our answer now wouldn't we?
The problem with a sarcasm font is y'all would be real sick of it about 2 lines into every blog I post. :-D But again I digress. So with Bubba's announcement of his unhappiness at what I say when we are out together, regarding his family, his car whatever... I will indeed ask for a preapproved list of Bubbabippy I will ignore all of them.
Now - where should I make him take me out on our wedding anniversary? Hee hee heee....
**Thanks Nana for the garage changing the car idea.. totally stole it!
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