Today they were slow and backwards... allow me to document our morning and how at every turn yours truly is the bad guy... again - still whatever...
The alarm went off at 6 AM - check the date yes on a freaking Saturday morning. We stupidly made a meeting at 8 AM to get it done and over with and frankly it weeds out the whiners - they whine about the hour and then don't show up. Double win - you can delete the email AND not listen to them at the meeting. ANY way.... up moving, morning routine - I even made breakfast - a few more points than I wanted but hey - not completely nuts I MADE breakfast sandwiches for both of us - brewed coffee, tended to dogs - I AM freaking wonder woman. Now as we are about to depart and almost on time for a change I can't find the binder I stupidly lent to Bubba... where the heck is it... much later (like post meeting) we find it tucked way within all HIS lodge stuff and not in the separate compartmentalized area in which I keep my things for just the reason and there is no discussion of yours-mine- or someone getting happy about tossing away my or his stuff... (maybe it is time for decaf)
So we arrive at 8 AM as opposed to before the meeting is supposed to start - and get things rolling good meeting, girls show up to do their job, and frankly that part of the day went fine. We had other people and things around us and that is a good thing.
Then we head home, meet up with the neighbor, Power grid tonight - I have to get upstairs and get my stuff cleaned up - but I must vent now or it won't be pretty later when the filter slips due to pressure.
So, home, getting dogs because well the Vet still needs the oober power upgrade on his yacht and we got the card that SHELBY was due for her annual payment. Of course when I made the appointment, I shoehorned Violet in as well - checking on her limp and growing thing on her leg. Now up until this point we've been in "slow" mode - but I have pushed him along and we're doing all right. We get ready to go the appointment loaded with 2 dogs me with a 3/4 working hand that is killing me thanks to lodge moving stuff - a baggie of Shelby present for the doc to check (yeah so want THAT job all day) and two dogs all bouncy and happy they get to GO!!! Especially you guessed it Shelby! Remember gang, my family calls my dogs Tigger and Eeyore (and yes I had to look it up) - and guess which one was all nutso to get out the door... you guessed it Tigger - aka Shelby.
At this point we begin to move backwards because Bubba decided NOW was the time to retrain Shelby... of course this was after he stood by the front door, in the way, reviewing our car insurance bill and finding now the time to debate how much is was last time - like I have a clue I just pay the amount on the sheet of paper --- SO out another door Bubba and Shelby go - he stops at his car, puts in his new insurance paper work, all the while yelling at Shelby because she's bouncing to go - as I have the doggy car door open, I am loading Violet in (she can't jump that high anymore) and Shelby is beginning to think she's going to be left behind... Shelby I will take - the other one... not so much.
Finally he gets her in the truck, and we're driving. Any other time the man drives likes he's robbed a bank - when we're late for an appointment he's Grandma Moses. As he poking down toward an intersection there was a slip in the filter - up until now it had been FIRMLY locked in place, I started to say something about missing the light because he was reading the tea leaves on his phone or having an internal debate on the merits of post modern accounting methodologies whatever... I state "Hum - hon" and boy didn't that slip light up the Cranky Bubba meter. "Am I going to slow for you?" (well yes in this case - but I NOT going to TELL you that - dorkus). Seeing the meter at red I again slam the filter shut and say nothing - it just works better than way trust me.
We arrive and thanks to the new Asian market near our Vet the parking lot is a zoo - people, cars everywhere - I knew this before we left - hence the need to get moving. So we make our way and park no where near the Vet. No biggie - get out - get moving, Shelby is trying to sniff everything Bubba is doing is best butthead impression - actually I think we're past impression - full fledged - we stop to wait to cross the intersection - nice guy stops to let us go by - Bubba stands there - filter slip - he's waiting for you (as I was behind him with Violet, purse and doggie present bag in hand) we make our way and out pops Shelby crazy dog. She LOVES the Vet for some unknown reason. Well attention, goodies, that cat thing she likes to chase, smells and who knows the dog turns into spaz mutt at the Vet. That is why Bubba takes her.
Appointment went as well as could be - all was great when Shelby was the center of attention and cookies but as soon as Violet got into the act - Chatty Shelby came out to play and her father Oblivious Bubba sat there... if you touch her and focus her attention elsewhere Bubba she won't sit there and 'chat' at us during all this! Just a little thought there pumpkin. Oh yeah and while the Vet is trying to look at your dog - you might want to help him out - like holding her head still and positioning her backside when he needs it... the little things pumpkin. But that is in the 'helpful' area of life -bot really your strong suit - we may have to get you some sort of book - with pictures and small words...
Now I also have a 1:15 appointment to give blood - I figured no big deal, Vet, home, lunch, gone done. No I forget I have Bubba the nit-picker with me and he stands there reviewing the bill, asking questions, - JUST PAY IT ALREADY. We make our way back to the truck - he has to, again, prove me wrong that Shelby can jump into the back end - he and the dog stand in the middle of the parking lot - and he gets her running a few steps and into the car. BRAVO butthead you've taken my time and the 3 cars in the traffic lane waiting for you to get your stuff together.
NOW we're in the car he wants to take another 10 minutes to screw with his phone and my bluetooth in MY car. He has his music on his phone, 80's techno-California-poppy- same stuff over and over. I have satellite radio - sports, music, comedy - turn that on. AND I don't have to freaking reset my car for my phone after you've taken 10 minutes to screw it all up anyway! Of course when I mention I have to be somewhere shortly - it's like I knotted the tighty-whities and yanked. You are going to be in the car for 15 minutes - WHY on earth would you take 10 minutes to screw up my phone connection and the radio --just to listen to what you already have when you turn on the car?
Of course I don't say this as I have wrangled the filter back into place (and for those of you wondering what filter - it's the brain to mouth filter - my slips - alot - allowing things I'm thinking to be said - when they shouldn't be) And course because Captain Crankypants can 't have things his way - it's all bad and I'm the problem child. Turn - on - the - radio. How hard is that? Listen to your stupid phone when you're alone and not in my car so you screw up the phone through the car thing. (blue tooth - yeah yeah)
Now we had planned to stop at Chix-filet for lunch. (no diet comments I needed lunch). Of course Bubba takes the LONG way around, and he meanders around the store - the drive thru is past the building - there is one lone idiot sitting in the lane with his flashers on - I later saw someone get into his car -- yes he sat in the lane so folks had to go around him - waiting for someone to get food - instead of parking... way to go Skippy - you win a-hole of the year. Why the year? Because this place was PACKED. I mean every kid, soccer mom and grandparent was in this place! We left.
So of course that was my fault but at this point the duct tape has been brought out the filter isn't going anywhere and we go home. I make myself a turkey sandwich, I eat carrots - with fattening dip because I'm mad, and off I go to donate a pint of blood.
That turned out to be 4 drops - you have to have an iron of 12.5 mine was 10.5. Well that was easy. Done. Then through the will power of Zeus himself - I pass by the really really good ice cream store, drop off and pick up Bubba's shirts, mail (finally) goodies to my niece M and my father's shirt. I also pick up beer for the Super Bowl party we're attending and I head home. I pay the bills, blog, check email, Bubba and I made dinner plans, the kitchen is clean, the bathrooms are stocked and I'm ready for bed. - I mean Power Grid. :-)
On the upside - Bubba is going to work tomorrow morning, I will be sleeping in, and we'll be around other people for the other part of the day. Then we are back to our regularly scheduled week of seeing each other as lumps on the other side of the bed. And today I am grateful.
Just let the dogs out --- it's snowing... I should have just had the ice cream. I'll drink with the grown ups tonight - that ought to do it.
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