Bonus Round....

Because apparently the southern contingent shared his idiot pills today with Bubba. This will be short and sweet and to the point...

Master Bubba calls home at 7:45 PM this evening, wanting details on dinner, stir fry, and then 10 minutes of his usually incoherent babble that means nothing to anyone but him... oh goodie.

He arrives home 45 minutes later, announces to me that the new rattle in my car is not my engine but I should take it into the mechanic to be sure. Thank you Dr. Detroit.

Then he announces what the electric bill is for last month - then more quietly admits we used less electricity that we did last year. But it costs more. Read a freaking newspaper - the price of shit is going up - deal with it.

There is a discussion of computers - the new one has arrived as the old one has decided to work again on a regular basis. No biggie. But again Master Bubba must go on and on for the 12th time in a week about what to do with the disk drive we have yadda, yadda, yadda. It does not strike him as odd that his wife works with computers all day but he still feels the need to instruct her on what to do with a disk drive and the new computer. Really Skippy? When this bit of information is pointed out to him, he gets grumpy. He goes upstairs to change his clothes.

Now let me wander off our little time line for another important piece of information. Dinner tonight is being served on Romain noodles - sans the salty packet - idea stolen from the Food Network. Back when we were young bucks I didn't make said noodle dish to the satisfaction of Master Bubba and decreed that I would never again make said noodle dish for his royal ass and I haven't. Tangent over...

That was important because as he came downstairs Master Bubba was dismayed to find that no water had been put on the burner to boil. There was a pot on the stove with water in it - at 8:00 pm when I ate dinner. All he had to do was turn the burner on and cook his noodles. The meat and veggies with the sauce was already done and warming on the stove. I got the "thanks for the effort" crack and decided I had had enough for today. HE HAD TO TURN ON THE FREAKING BURNER AND BOIL WATER - will someone please explain to me what is so hard about that? Did he have to slice, chop, or cook anything - DOES HE EVER?

AND the better part - he had to have help figuring out which burner he actually turned on. Nope not joking. Is there another man in this country that has such kitchen issues - who doesn't have a paid staff - because cupcake I am NOT paid staff - by any stretch of the imagination.

So when Master Bubba was challenged over his perceived slight of his wife not preparing his dinners and presenting to his royal highness on a plate of gleaming gold. It was pointed out to him, that again the magic fairies had made his dirty shirts cleaned and pressed, the meat and veggie portion of his meal was sitting there waiting for him - and had he not bitched so freaking much those many years ago - I would have made his noodles. So next time dorkus - shut the pie hole and you'll get what you want. Keep this crap up and you'll learn to boil water or starve - because I will take up on "If you don't want to cook my dinner you don't have to..."

Don't tempt me Bubba.