My mother's Christmas gift this year was family pictures - I sure as heck hope she liked them because it will be a cold day - well it will be a while before I decided to do this again... (cue the way back music)
It's Sunday - it's the holiday season - all should be shiny and bright... yeah well. Not so much. First we go back several weeks to our hero Aunt Ing stuck in yet another DC traffic mess - but do not fret gentle reader for she had the technology to reach out and peck at her fellow family members... First the brother - which should have probably been the sister-in-law as we all know that women of the household set the schedule... but I spoke to my brother because he was home... we set a date set a time, I called the sister - confirmed good date and time - all was well...
Sunday morning - 6 adults one small child - one bathroom. Not exactly a recipe for success.. but we made it. Then the fun began... Brother and family arrived - a few minutes late no stress no worries.. OK yeah there were some as we were about to call and get an ETA but just as phones came whipping out - they were pulling up. We were all dressed in our required finery... first issue, my brother in law didn't have a jacket - he was the only male member of the family who didn't - BIG FARTING DEAL - he's got a tie - moving on. My sister tried to accuse me of not telling her what the requirements were - oh yes I did but I didn't have the written transcript of our phone conversation handy... I say "al-keda" every now and again it keeps the trackers on my phone so I can call up said transcripts when I need them to win family arguments...
OK - so everyone is here, hug hug kiss kiss first surprise of the day from camera lady... "WE don't guarantee pictures with over 8 people in them... when I made the appointment I said 8 adults and 3 children -was the math too hard for the girl? When were they going to tell me this bit of news? I wasn't pleased - and it also started the Bubba (I'm going to be a butthead now) look toward me.... and frankly that was the source of 9/10's of the stress of the day - if he would have sat down shut the heck up I had things handled - right after I got my sister to put a cork in it as well - but I'm getting ahead of myself...
We got the pictures taken - with 3 small kids it was an interesting thing but I must credit the camera lady she worked hard...
Now we get to fun stop number 2 - looking at our pictures deciding what we all want and keeping within the Bubba budget... (insert cranky face number 2) We have a coupon then discover that the sitting fee is PER PERSON - and amounts to over $100!!! Are you freaking kidding me? Now my sister is in the act - and she's in my face about how I should have read the coupon which came into my possession that very morning - and I had better get the CD for free so I can print what I want... bla bla bla ... insert Bubba growling in the other ear that I have a budget and why didn't I know about this that the other and 12 other things I had no clue to even think about asking... What do I do? Defensive crouch? Yelling and screaming? No of course not I wasn't home - I badger the woman setting this up - she then gives me an out - we buy a 2 year membership which thanks to the coupon is $10 bucks off - we're down to 20 bucks for JC Penny overhead then we select the sheets of pictures we want wrap it up and wha-la - we are WELL within budget - everyone except Bubba is happy and we are outta there...
But wait - it gets more funny as you all know Bubba wasn't going to let this go!! Plus I had to ask the question if we wanted to do lunch at the mall together. You would have thought I asked Bubba to remove his favorite body part... but we do lunch - after taken the Bataan Death March to the food court to avoid the playground for the kids... hey what did I know? I thought avoiding the crying and the wailing was a good thing - who knew it took us 6.3 miles out of our way?
We arrive we eat lunch, and I am mad, tired and pretty much had enough of Bubba. He's cranky because he wants to go home and watch football - I want to play with the kids... you see the problem? Well thankfully Mom stepped in, sent Dad and Bob home to watch football I got to play with the kids, take pictures and basically cool off...
Oh - the formal pictures turned out pretty good - better had I not been the chubby chick in the back looking like I had to be prodded into smiling - but hey. No one is happy with any picture they take of themselves - or is that just me?
I wonder if Pap liked his girls only picture? I thought that would be fun... even though I didn't let him bring his clown wig with him...
One final note on picture day? On our way home 24 plus hours later - Bubba starts in again on how I should have asked more questions. I relay the entire conversation and then pose the question, "what mental telepathy should I have used to ask questions about something I had no prior knowledge of?" I'm still waiting for an answer.
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve - its just me and Bubba - stay tuned.
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